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>go to work >see back door is pried open >see safe is broken open and the money's gone >get scared and don't know what to do 64 KB JPG >manager finally comes into work >OH MY GOD ANON WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL THE COPS >say I was scared and didn't know if it was worth bothering them about >AAAAAAAAA WE HAVE TO CALL THE COPS >cops come and they talk with the manager >for some reason they want to talk to me >they want me to give them my address for some reason >get scared that they think I might be a suspect >give them a fake address >they ask me more questions about my work >get scared and blurt out I DIDN'T DO IT >he writes something into his notepad and says he'll talk to me later >manager mad at me for some reason and wants me to go home >tfw realize I'm now a suspect >tfw might go to jail and get r---- for something I didn't do Should I just commit suicide to avoid the trouble?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon does not like boring YouTubers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 05/20/22(Fri)23:48:11 No.68714289 >hey guys it's critical >today we are taking yet another clip from my live stream of me watching a youtube video that somebody else made and getting a million views for what little I add in words with my boring dry tired voice >also, for comedic effect, I will stretch the image on the youtube thumbnail for the billionth time >please laugh

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Not all heroes wear capes | /r/Greentext

Megalon3.png 85 KB PNG >go to a club in vrchat >a huge t---- dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing >a f------ dude runs over as this guy >screams 'I AM MEGALON' >crashes the map

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Anon is going to a bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)09:59:59 No.70383293 >26 got new jobby job 2 months ago after 10 years neet >8pm >need to get up at 6 tomorrow for college >there's a female there who i havent interacted with before because she work in a remote office >she's 20 and hubba hubba >havent talked to a female in literally over a decade, mom dead sister ghosted me >havent been to a bar so i dont know what beer to ask for f--- i hate life 3 Replies >have to go to bar with collyigues in 3 hours View Thread

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anon goes biking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)13:25:05 No.70383536 >be me yesterday >riding bike in the dark >almost hit a guy taking out his trash "Turn your flashlight on!" "I don't have one!" "Get one!" >yea sure, tf am I gonna need a flashligh for anyway? >crash into pole a few minutes later >mfw 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Green Text and Ham | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/03/21 (Sun)20:40:20 No.5177032 >>5177059 >>5177421 >>5177648 >>5178167 >You WILL eat them in a box >You WILL eat them with a fox >You WILL eat them in a house >You WILL eat them with a mouse >You WILL eat them here or there >YOU WILL EAT THEM EVERYWHERE

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Anon's pussy doesn't like pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG 09/21/22(Wed)11:23:16 No.7029802 >A female cat had to stay with me for a few hours today >My cat was visibly stressed out >He retreated into a corner and hissed at her until she left him alone He is literally me

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Anon is from the Land of Freedom (and cars) | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration TM >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon will never cook for bitches again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon)08:47:45 No.18372420 >>18369691 # Not cooking for bitches ever again, they all talk how they like cooking then bitch when I have them peel potatoes for dinner. >OHH lets just order pizza and f--- till it come teheheh F---. OFF.

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Annon is a ladies man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)12:08:17 No.68476143 >be me >In class >qt nearby >She jokingly takes a fighting stance (invisible lat syndrome" and says "I'll be at you up" >Reply "haha I'll kill you" >She never speaks to me again

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Anon is parented by 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)06:27:10 No.886402330 >be me >neet who stays up late watching movies and browsing 4chan >go outside at 2 am to get some fresh air >see a girl -- around 20 years old walking on my street alone >remember a post I saw on 4chan saying to chase girls at night >idea.jpg >start walking the same direction as her on the other side of the street >cross over to her side >she keeps looking over her shoulder at me >I speed up >she speeds up >I start to jog >she starts to sprint >she trips and takes a pretty nasty fall >she starts to cry >I run back to my house >my heart is racing for the next two hours >felt good >will do it again if the opportunity presents itself 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets touched by a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 66 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)19:15:02 No.70381626 >don't shower for a week >balls and d--- start to smell horrid >rub money on my balls and d--- >go to mall where I know the cashiers are female >pay >female touched my balls and d--- What's something DEVILISH that you do, Anon? 18 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anons discuss the video game industry | /r/Greentext

= > ("•A•)/ REPENTHOUSE LUCIFER wwtwile AMERAY LAVINE WITH URSELF 795M Fibery 09/28/22(Wed)04:14:08 No.886398641 >>886398059 (OP) # 76 KB JPG >Dad loses home on Gambling addiction >Vow to never be addicted or gamble ever. >30 years later. : Anonymous >Be the 90s >Jim plays vidya with his Dad >Dad gambles money on scratch tickets. >Making vidya with gambling in it >spend real money for fake token >re-release the game every year (20XX) >E.E E... ITS IN THE GAME 170 KB GIF >EVENTUALLY YOU'LL NEED TO LOOTBOX THE START MENU. 09/28/22(Wed)04:14:12 No.886398643 >>886398059 (OP) # GTA 6 will be the last GTA Rockstar makes. >2 billion dollar budget(GTA 5=250 Million) >developed since 2014 >New city added every year(DLC) ppl will play this 20yrs

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Greentext Stories - Anon's autism kicks in | /r/Greentext

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>go to work >see back door is pried open >see safe is broken open and the money's gone >get scared and don't know what to do 64 KB JPG >manager finally comes into work >OH MY GOD ANON WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL THE COPS >say I was scared and didn't know if it was worth bothering them about >AAAAAAAAA WE HAVE TO CALL THE COPS >cops come and they talk with the manager >for some reason they want to talk to me >they want me to give them my address for some reason >get scared that they think I might be a suspect >give them a fake address >they ask me more questions about my work >get scared and blurt out I DIDN'T DO IT >he writes something into his notepad and says he'll talk to me later >manager mad at me for some reason and wants me to go home >tfw realize I'm now a suspect >tfw might go to jail and get r---- for something I didn't do Should I just commit suicide to avoid the trouble?

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Uploaded Sep 29, 2022 at 02:29AM EDT

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