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Anonymous You meet your (18 year old self, you're allowed to say 3 words. What do you say? >Stay in there 12/23/22 (Fri)18:33:17 No.891275361 >>892370038 # E250495F-19AC-4A46-9127-4DCE6684ACED.jpg 358 KB JPG Anonymous 1670374402781302.png 172 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)04:03:48 No.892370038 >>891275361 (OP) # Stop masturbating, start working out, start taking cold showers, start meditating. Just do computer science you f------ retard and if you don't visit a counselor to pick your courses you are going to get f-----. Also just take it up the ass in all the leftist b------- classes. >>891279493 # >>891280431 # Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)19:51:55 No.891279493 >>891276478 # your consufed 18 year old self as some wrecked willem dafoe looking mofo pops out of nowhere screams >stop masturbating start then instantly disapears into the void

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon buys food before work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fml 293 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)11:42:19 No.71780926 >food courts around work are all s----- and food is nasty and unhealthy >there is a place next to my home that sells these cool wraps i like >buy one for lunch and head to work >forget it in car >go back and take it >put it in fridge at work >at lunch time i go to get it >obese landwhale blue haired coworker is shoving it down her throat >oh Anon, was this yours? Sorry, it wasnt labeled and i was feeling hungry so i helped myself >her massive greasy forehead is sweating as shes devouring my poor wrap >slobbering and munching away at it like a f------ hippo What kind of human garbage steals food from coworkers? Tomorrow im getting the exact same wrap and lacing it with laxatives. Will report if she ruptures her a------

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Anon discovers planned obsolescence | /r/Greentext

File: 1673371923843365.jpg (37 KB, 640x480) Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)15:09:05 No.176329095 >>176329152 >>176329212 >>176329300 >>176329607 >>176329837 >>176331185 >>176331230 >>176334314 >>176335056 >>176336156 >>176338986 >>176339124 >>176339232 >>176339303 One of the first things that "redpilled" me was this f------ American light bulb that has been working for over 120 years. then i found out what they do with printer ink cartridges

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Thank you wild herbs and spices. | /r/Greentext

41 KB JPG >Be me. >Had a bad week. >Got fired from my job >Girlfriend broke up with me. >And to top it all off I lost my sense of smell. >Decide to take a spontaneous camping trip. >Get to the camping spot and realize I forgot to bring cooking utensils. >Depression and despair kicks in and almost give up and go home. >"I'm not going to let this stop me!" >Suddenly flooded with memories of survival shows. >Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. >Start gathering resources. >Wood for a fire, a flat rock to cook on, even found some wild herbs for seasoning. >Build my primitive stove and start a fire. >Prepare my meal and place upon the heated rock. >Suddenly my smell comes back to me. >It smells better than anything I have ever cooked. >I shed a tear because now things are starting to look up. >I think it has something to do with the wild seasonings. >And thanks to them, I can smell what the rock is cooking.

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Anons discuss their country's issues | /r/Greentext

File: 1615701793825.jpg (55 KB, 976x850) 01/10/23(Tue)23:20:58 No.176341049 ► Anonymous >Europeans carry two wallets on them while in public >One is their actual wallet, and the second is a decoy in case they get mugged by a gy Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)23:24:18 No.176341105 File: wojakjustfuckmyshitup.png (387 KB, 680x708) >Australians carry 25 different antidotes on them at all times in case they get bitten by a poisonous animal

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anon daydreams | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue) 23:08:42 No.892393732 >have dinner with my best friend and his gf >she goes to the restroom, joke with him about proposing >"soon"TM >driving home, start daydreaming about speech i'll make at his wedding >start daydreaming about my own wedding, starting a family >snap back to reality of tfwnogf bros... i don't know how much longer i can cope

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Most competent programmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coding is easy 13 KB JPG Fml 01/11/23(Wed)01:56:56 No.71776707 > be me > Working on writing code for this massive uni project > Use ChatGPT cause I can't write working React code for the life of me. > ffw today > ChatGPT is down > mfw

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Anon tries aunts edibles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 153 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)19:15:45 >doing edibles made by my aunt with a friend >my aunt does not f--- around, the edibles are super strong >i can handle it so i eat a big piece and my friend decides to have one too and assures me he'll be fine >2 hrs later he starts getting a little panicky >without skipping a beat i start yelling "YOU'RE GOING TO F------ DIE H-------- YOUR HEART IS STOPPING FUUUCK BRO STAY WITH ME" >he immediately spirals into a horrible meltdown tier panic attack No.71778052 >starts vomiting everywhere and crying profusely >calls himself an ambulance because he refuses to believe that he's just having a panic attack and is okay >i apologize to him the next day and he left the text on read >we haven't spoken since 4 Replies / 1 Image I don't know why the f--- I did that. Been missing my pal a lot lately and feeling terrible about what I did. Weed makes me f------ evil. View Thread

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Anon goes on a date. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/23(Wed)10:32:05 No.71777662 >be me >meet girl on dating app >ask her out >she agrees >go to the place we agreed on >no sight of her 336 KB JPG >she isn't replying to my texts >decide to leave after waiting for like an hour >later that day she texts >"sorry but you're shorter than i expected" >blocks me cucked by my own genes i f------ hate my life

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Anon gets some chick-fil-a | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anyone else just get hooked on(...) 01/11/23(Wed)00:25:10 No.892397824 49 KB JPG >Be me >hungry as f--- >work up the energy to roll out of bed and get into my s----- 2001 corolla and drive to chick-fil-a >get nuggies and the chick-fil-a sauce >shitsgood.png >get hooked on the sauce >find out you can buy chick-fil-a sauce at just about any grocery store >buy bottle >idea >decide to try putting sauce on different foods >taco bell, chinese takeout, pizza hut, etc >all f------ good >tfw i'm addicted to chick-fil-a sauce >tfw i'm basically a stacy Tbh, i don't really care. I wonder how it would feel like to use it as a lube while jerking off

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Zoomers discover that the bad guy in a TV show who is portrayed in a bad manner is in fact bad | /r/Greentext

Why y'all didn't warn me that The Sopranos had racism?! Lmao 1:34 PM Jan 5, 2023 1.4M Views 69 Retweets 769 Quote Tweets 848 Likes Zoomers be like >Is that a hecking racism in my showerino! 2h (1/6 10:30) - 178836752 JPG 66KB (562 ×600) twitter.jpg 4 Replies >>178836667 (OP) 1h (1/6 11:10) 178837603 1 Reply >>178836667 (OP) Italian gangsters are notoriously racist. 1h (1/6 11:53) 178838639 >>178837603 Can we reach them? Can we tell them to do better? ... ...

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Anon is useless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anyone else have similar exper(...) [screaming internally] 18 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)15:35:06 No.71770154 >parents let you do whatever >never for a second help you get a job or ask you what your plans are a single time >just assume things will just work themselves out >graduate high school >literally next day sit down and have a talk >so what do you want to do with the rest of your life My parents completely neglected to even try to develop me into a independent adult and are then surprised that I'm not an independent adult. Its like they thought I would just magically find my own way. They truly believed that when it came to their autistic son already showing signs of being an ant-social shut in at 12 that he would just figure it out and everything would just work out.

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Umm.... Source? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>4366011 # >>4366019 # >>4366300 11/28/22(Mon)15:12:48 No.4366478 >anon posts an unsourced image s--- >another anon posts another unsourced p------------ >another anon agrees with said p------------ pottery >>4367692 # Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)23:06:11 No.4367692 >>4366478 # Underground Azerbaijani pottery making forum 61

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Greentext Stories - Anon travels back in time | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous You meet your (18 year old self, you're allowed to say 3 words. What do you say? >Stay in there 12/23/22 (Fri)18:33:17 No.891275361 >>892370038 # E250495F-19AC-4A46-9127-4DCE6684ACED.jpg 358 KB JPG Anonymous 1670374402781302.png 172 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)04:03:48 No.892370038 >>891275361 (OP) # Stop masturbating, start working out, start taking cold showers, start meditating. Just do computer science you f------ retard and if you don't visit a counselor to pick your courses you are going to get f-----. Also just take it up the ass in all the leftist b------- classes. >>891279493 # >>891280431 # Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)19:51:55 No.891279493 >>891276478 # your consufed 18 year old self as some wrecked willem dafoe looking mofo pops out of nowhere screams >stop masturbating start then instantly disapears into the void

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