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: Anonymous Giving blood probs saved me fr(...) 12/07/20(Mon)16:06:51 No.61266217 >be me >give blood + plasma as regularly as I can >this time don't eat and drink beforehand >later at party I can't get hard for the girl I'm making out with >she asks me why I aren't hard (I'm sober) and we don't go any further because she thinks I don't like her 5 KB JPG >found out later she had a history of passing on tons of stuff without knowing My basic knowledge of biology dictates that I didn't have enough blood to get hard Donate bloods you cowards it works as a Thot shield

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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anon loves revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/23 (Wed)21:34:52 No.71783429 >Be me in uni 10 years ago >Get bullied for 2 years by passive aggressive pretty boy chad >He spread rumors about me, turned people against me, and got my then girlfriend to cheat on me with him >I'm 100 percent sure he f----- my girlfriend just to bully me because he made sure i found out and he was a good looking chad and she was obese. He also dated hot girls so he had no motive to f--- my 240 pound girlfriend. 42 KB JPG >I literally did nothing to him, i don't even know why he targeted me. He was the only person to seriously bully me >2020 >Find out he owns a pizza place because his father gave it to him >spoiled f----- >4.6 star average on google >LETS SEE IF I CAN CHANGE THAT! >Got a bunch of google accounts >Use each one for two or three weeks >Leave a couple random reviews for other places, usually giving them 4-5 stars >Leave him a 1 star review (occasionally 2 just to mix things up) >reset IP address, delete cookies >rinse and repeat >Use different writing styles. Make sure there is no noticeable pattern in my names >Have done this consistently for 2 and a half years >knocked his rating down to a 2.2 on google >Google apparently never caught me because not a single one of my negative reviews was taken down, and I would have noticed despite having made so many I won't stop until I put him out of business or one of us is dead.

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 04/27/21 (Tue) 15:56:00 No.63409433 RIP stink bug >be me >preparing to take a shower >see stink bug in the shower >w--.jpg >im way too tired and dead inside so i just start the shower anyway. hoping its just gonna flow down with the water in the sink. >the little guy is holding up >it barely endures the hot stream of water tho >have an idea.webm >start peeing on the stink bug >he can't hande it and goes down with the water mixed with my pee

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anon is a bird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Parrots were removed from a UK safari park after teaching each other to say n then laughing about it t.me/Based Gif 01/11/23(Wed)11:30:59 No.892433908 Have Orecchio-Egresitz FB_IMG_1673450442096.jpg 36 KB JPG >be birb in zoo >teach other birbs how to speak >n----- >n----- >n----- >n----- >n----- >get kicked out the zoo D

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Anon BTFO twitter artists | /r/Greentext

File: MogU80Xv_400x400.jpg (23 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)16:53:56 No.71774798 >be me >niche twitter micro celebrity >-60k followers >2 days later, show's over >no more retweets >go to starving artist's store >everything is dirt cheap >buy literally the entire store >delete tweet >see twitter artists complaining >quote retweets make them lose sales apparently >gain 3.6M dollars >order uber eats to celebrate How's your day? >"you're literally making us starve by qrting instead of rting" >can't do s--- on this hellsite >whatever >next day >find underrated artist on twitter with really good art >one of her works has the entire cast of kirby drawn >masterpiece that took 2 months >titled "who would you hug?" >caption it "my horny ass could NOT be next to kirby" >twirl my mustache and laugh at my genius tweet >"my oomfies will gobble this s--- up" >start gaining retweets >each retweet costs the artist 60 dollars >idea.jpg >quote retweet the art >1k retweets >2k retweets >5k retweets >artist starts crying and demanding I delete the tweet >refuse >300k dollars lost >10k retweets >30k retweets >60k retweets >all of art twitter is now after my ass >it's 9/11 for terminally online twitter artists >my reply section is flooded with twitter warriors >start receiving death threats >start blocking >they keep making new accounts >counterdegeneracy

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Anon is angry as he can't be a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 153 KB JPG 03/13/19(Wed)16:12:14 No.794887769 This happened the other day and I still can't believe it. >be me, live with my girlfriend >we live in a decent apartment in cool part of city >$1100/month for rent >rent day comes around >She's off work so I tell her to go drop off the rent with the landlord >I get home from work in the afternoon >She's on the couch sobbing >She's says that our landlord tried to get her to have sex with him in exchange for not paying the rent >He basically propositioned her to prostitute herself to him I'm so f------ angry right now. Why the f--- wouldn't she just sleep with him, does she think $1100 just grows on trees? Help me out /b/ros.

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Anons discuss babies | /r/Greentext

File: 1648200055285.png (132 KB, 539x395) Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:53:54 No.71772728 ▶ >>71772767 >>71772785 >scream and cry until they get what they want >suck on tiddies >drink raw milk >pretend not to be able to speak so they don't have to >they just smile and giggle and everyone loves them >are treated like kings and queens are babies the most based beings on the earth? >> Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:55:02 No.71772747 File: 1671331498614836.png (899 KB, 708x994) this made me feel like a baby Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:56:45 No.71772767 >>71772728 (OP) Yes. And they are the catalyst for a man's wife's t--- to become even bigger. Definitely the most based beings on earth. Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:58:00 No.71772785 >>71772798

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No. 10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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Anon’s mom is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 36 KB GIF 01/11/23(Wed)10:23:15 No.71780839 >mom doesnt know that everyone can see that she is following pornstars on Instagram The fact that my mom likes Chads and Tyrones kinda makes me feel sick idk why

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Anon is now “that guy” | /r/Greentext

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very impressive | /r/Greentext

File: GRRmartin.png (1.72 MB, 1200x1529) Anonymous 01/11/23 (Wed)00:50:59 No.21509592 ► >>21509631 >>21509712 >cltr+c cltr+v British medieval history >change "sir" and "master" to "ser" and "maester" BRAVO, GEORGE >>

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Anon travels back in time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous You meet your (18 year old self, you're allowed to say 3 words. What do you say? >Stay in there 12/23/22 (Fri)18:33:17 No.891275361 >>892370038 # E250495F-19AC-4A46-9127-4DCE6684ACED.jpg 358 KB JPG Anonymous 1670374402781302.png 172 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)04:03:48 No.892370038 >>891275361 (OP) # Stop masturbating, start working out, start taking cold showers, start meditating. Just do computer science you f------ retard and if you don't visit a counselor to pick your courses you are going to get f-----. Also just take it up the ass in all the leftist b------- classes. >>891279493 # >>891280431 # Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)19:51:55 No.891279493 >>891276478 # your consufed 18 year old self as some wrecked willem dafoe looking mofo pops out of nowhere screams >stop masturbating start then instantly disapears into the void

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Anon buys food before work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fml 293 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)11:42:19 No.71780926 >food courts around work are all s----- and food is nasty and unhealthy >there is a place next to my home that sells these cool wraps i like >buy one for lunch and head to work >forget it in car >go back and take it >put it in fridge at work >at lunch time i go to get it >obese landwhale blue haired coworker is shoving it down her throat >oh Anon, was this yours? Sorry, it wasnt labeled and i was feeling hungry so i helped myself >her massive greasy forehead is sweating as shes devouring my poor wrap >slobbering and munching away at it like a f------ hippo What kind of human garbage steals food from coworkers? Tomorrow im getting the exact same wrap and lacing it with laxatives. Will report if she ruptures her a------

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Greentext Stories - Donating blood saved anon | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous Giving blood probs saved me fr(...) 12/07/20(Mon)16:06:51 No.61266217 >be me >give blood + plasma as regularly as I can >this time don't eat and drink beforehand >later at party I can't get hard for the girl I'm making out with >she asks me why I aren't hard (I'm sober) and we don't go any further because she thinks I don't like her 5 KB JPG >found out later she had a history of passing on tons of stuff without knowing My basic knowledge of biology dictates that I didn't have enough blood to get hard Donate bloods you cowards it works as a Thot shield

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