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Anonymous 730176908 47.3 kB JPG 1 REPLY >be me >lonely kissless virgin >coming home from a night walk >pull out key to unlock door the opening now >got to tease it just a little bit >push in the key slowly but firmly >twist >push >came >i imagine im making love to the lock >i jently caress the lock with my thumb >i raise the key to the lock and rub it around on 0 IMAGES Anonymous 730177135 2 min. ago >>730176908 (OP) I hate this place. ... 0 min. ago REPLY

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Donating blood saved anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Giving blood probs saved me fr(...) 12/07/20(Mon)16:06:51 No.61266217 >be me >give blood + plasma as regularly as I can >this time don't eat and drink beforehand >later at party I can't get hard for the girl I'm making out with >she asks me why I aren't hard (I'm sober) and we don't go any further because she thinks I don't like her 5 KB JPG >found out later she had a history of passing on tons of stuff without knowing My basic knowledge of biology dictates that I didn't have enough blood to get hard Donate bloods you cowards it works as a Thot shield

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anon loves revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/23 (Wed)21:34:52 No.71783429 >Be me in uni 10 years ago >Get bullied for 2 years by passive aggressive pretty boy chad >He spread rumors about me, turned people against me, and got my then girlfriend to cheat on me with him >I'm 100 percent sure he f----- my girlfriend just to bully me because he made sure i found out and he was a good looking chad and she was obese. He also dated hot girls so he had no motive to f--- my 240 pound girlfriend. 42 KB JPG >I literally did nothing to him, i don't even know why he targeted me. He was the only person to seriously bully me >2020 >Find out he owns a pizza place because his father gave it to him >spoiled f----- >4.6 star average on google >LETS SEE IF I CAN CHANGE THAT! >Got a bunch of google accounts >Use each one for two or three weeks >Leave a couple random reviews for other places, usually giving them 4-5 stars >Leave him a 1 star review (occasionally 2 just to mix things up) >reset IP address, delete cookies >rinse and repeat >Use different writing styles. Make sure there is no noticeable pattern in my names >Have done this consistently for 2 and a half years >knocked his rating down to a 2.2 on google >Google apparently never caught me because not a single one of my negative reviews was taken down, and I would have noticed despite having made so many I won't stop until I put him out of business or one of us is dead.

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 04/27/21 (Tue) 15:56:00 No.63409433 RIP stink bug >be me >preparing to take a shower >see stink bug in the shower >w--.jpg >im way too tired and dead inside so i just start the shower anyway. hoping its just gonna flow down with the water in the sink. >the little guy is holding up >it barely endures the hot stream of water tho >have an idea.webm >start peeing on the stink bug >he can't hande it and goes down with the water mixed with my pee

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anon is a bird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Parrots were removed from a UK safari park after teaching each other to say n then laughing about it t.me/Based Gif 01/11/23(Wed)11:30:59 No.892433908 Have Orecchio-Egresitz FB_IMG_1673450442096.jpg 36 KB JPG >be birb in zoo >teach other birbs how to speak >n----- >n----- >n----- >n----- >n----- >get kicked out the zoo D

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Anon BTFO twitter artists | /r/Greentext

File: MogU80Xv_400x400.jpg (23 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)16:53:56 No.71774798 >be me >niche twitter micro celebrity >-60k followers >2 days later, show's over >no more retweets >go to starving artist's store >everything is dirt cheap >buy literally the entire store >delete tweet >see twitter artists complaining >quote retweets make them lose sales apparently >gain 3.6M dollars >order uber eats to celebrate How's your day? >"you're literally making us starve by qrting instead of rting" >can't do s--- on this hellsite >whatever >next day >find underrated artist on twitter with really good art >one of her works has the entire cast of kirby drawn >masterpiece that took 2 months >titled "who would you hug?" >caption it "my horny ass could NOT be next to kirby" >twirl my mustache and laugh at my genius tweet >"my oomfies will gobble this s--- up" >start gaining retweets >each retweet costs the artist 60 dollars >idea.jpg >quote retweet the art >1k retweets >2k retweets >5k retweets >artist starts crying and demanding I delete the tweet >refuse >300k dollars lost >10k retweets >30k retweets >60k retweets >all of art twitter is now after my ass >it's 9/11 for terminally online twitter artists >my reply section is flooded with twitter warriors >start receiving death threats >start blocking >they keep making new accounts >counterdegeneracy

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Anon is angry as he can't be a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 153 KB JPG 03/13/19(Wed)16:12:14 No.794887769 This happened the other day and I still can't believe it. >be me, live with my girlfriend >we live in a decent apartment in cool part of city >$1100/month for rent >rent day comes around >She's off work so I tell her to go drop off the rent with the landlord >I get home from work in the afternoon >She's on the couch sobbing >She's says that our landlord tried to get her to have sex with him in exchange for not paying the rent >He basically propositioned her to prostitute herself to him I'm so f------ angry right now. Why the f--- wouldn't she just sleep with him, does she think $1100 just grows on trees? Help me out /b/ros.

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Anons discuss babies | /r/Greentext

File: 1648200055285.png (132 KB, 539x395) Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:53:54 No.71772728 ▶ >>71772767 >>71772785 >scream and cry until they get what they want >suck on tiddies >drink raw milk >pretend not to be able to speak so they don't have to >they just smile and giggle and everyone loves them >are treated like kings and queens are babies the most based beings on the earth? >> Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:55:02 No.71772747 File: 1671331498614836.png (899 KB, 708x994) this made me feel like a baby Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:56:45 No.71772767 >>71772728 (OP) Yes. And they are the catalyst for a man's wife's t--- to become even bigger. Definitely the most based beings on earth. Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)21:58:00 No.71772785 >>71772798

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No. 10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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Anon’s mom is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 36 KB GIF 01/11/23(Wed)10:23:15 No.71780839 >mom doesnt know that everyone can see that she is following pornstars on Instagram The fact that my mom likes Chads and Tyrones kinda makes me feel sick idk why

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Anon is now “that guy” | /r/Greentext

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very impressive | /r/Greentext

File: GRRmartin.png (1.72 MB, 1200x1529) Anonymous 01/11/23 (Wed)00:50:59 No.21509592 ► >>21509631 >>21509712 >cltr+c cltr+v British medieval history >change "sir" and "master" to "ser" and "maester" BRAVO, GEORGE >>

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Anon travels back in time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous You meet your (18 year old self, you're allowed to say 3 words. What do you say? >Stay in there 12/23/22 (Fri)18:33:17 No.891275361 >>892370038 # E250495F-19AC-4A46-9127-4DCE6684ACED.jpg 358 KB JPG Anonymous 1670374402781302.png 172 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)04:03:48 No.892370038 >>891275361 (OP) # Stop masturbating, start working out, start taking cold showers, start meditating. Just do computer science you f------ retard and if you don't visit a counselor to pick your courses you are going to get f-----. Also just take it up the ass in all the leftist b------- classes. >>891279493 # >>891280431 # Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)19:51:55 No.891279493 >>891276478 # your consufed 18 year old self as some wrecked willem dafoe looking mofo pops out of nowhere screams >stop masturbating start then instantly disapears into the void

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes passionate love to door lock | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 730176908 47.3 kB JPG 1 REPLY >be me >lonely kissless virgin >coming home from a night walk >pull out key to unlock door the opening now >got to tease it just a little bit >push in the key slowly but firmly >twist >push >came >i imagine im making love to the lock >i jently caress the lock with my thumb >i raise the key to the lock and rub it around on 0 IMAGES Anonymous 730177135 2 min. ago >>730176908 (OP) I hate this place. ... 0 min. ago REPLY

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