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Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

Anonymous [*] HINDI (हिन्दी) FILIPINO (Wikang Filipino) 01/31/25(Fri)04:43:54 No.207305506 >millions of filipinos flood canada in the 2010s >nobody cares >millions of jeets flood canada in the 2020s >everyone gets p----- off, even liberal white women turn racist 124 KB JPG explain this phenomenom Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)04:49:08 No.207305640 filipinos actually integrate in every instance i've encountered them in the west rapists of india do not >>207305727 # >>207311237 # Anonymous >>207305640 # Asians have humility 01/31/25(Fri)04:51:24 No.207305727 Indians never know the meaning of the word "no". They always go after what they want regardless. Unironically helps them get jobs but with women it makes them r---- >>207306406 # >>207307051 # >>207311147 #

File: strongest Fire emblem player.png (3.7 MB, 2518x1462) Elise T-t-twenty push-ups? Like, in a row?! Is that even possible? ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)12:42:23 No.701696925 >>701697169 >>701697806 >>701698005 >>>701698313 >>701698352 >>701699713 >>701700913 >>701701718 >>701704079 >>701704956 >>701705173 >>701711114 >RPG gives you frail sissy weak healer at the start >secretly shes one of the strongest characters in the entire game love this trope ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)12:59:27 No.701698064 >>701698589 >>701698816 File: 'stang and 'lly.jpg (354 KB, 1920x1080) PYGMALION >game gives you p------------ gun that can barely kill a single zombie >secretly its the most based weapon in the entire game ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)13:08:54 No.701698703 >rpg gives you a muscular badass barbarian lady >she secretly has the lowest strength in the game >>701699070 ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)13:23:22 No. 701699713 ►>>701699882 File: Berookie.jpg (1.97 MB, 4000x2400) Beruka I brought the poison like you asked. Do want to taste it? A sip won't kill you. >>701696925 (OP) >RPG gives you an autistic girl with a tragic backstory >You have to work hard to earn that smile Love this little s--- like you wouldn't believe. >> ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri) 15:19:37 No. 701706863 File: GET OUT OF MY HEAD NOAH.png (25 KB, 240x160) but if you lose it's all over. your life, you >>701706905 The game is taunting me >> Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)15:20:23 No. 701706905 >>701706863 People die when they are killed. ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)21:39:59 No.701724535 ►>>701725126 the very idea that Engage could be someone's first FE game makes me shudder.

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Anon takes femboy pill | /r/Greentext

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i see a white dick and i want it painted black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous | 02/01/23(Wed)12:53:38 No.893634606 1604167495335s.jpg 10 KB JPG SKRITCH SKRYTE SKR >be 15 >friends dad is teacher >be with friend rifling around in his attic >find box full of photos >one of the photos is his dad (pe teacher), the history teacher, and the janitor all standing side by side and arm in arm >all smiling >notice janitor is completely naked >brain slowly trying to comprehend what i'm looking at >his d--- is covered in paint (you can see an open bucket of paint in the bottom of the picture) >stop looking at pictures >go down stiars >never bring it up again >the worst part is i'll never know why

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anon profits off a mans death | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG death 3 Replies 02/01/23(Wed)16:25:40 No.72048961 >Have youtube channel >Make shitpost video about youtuber >He Kills himself >Video skyrockets in views gets to about 25k >Tfw I'm literally profiting of a man's View Thread

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Anon learns girls can fart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)04:29:56 No.28241668 She farted. So basically we have been together over 5 months and last night she stayed. She had never spent the entire night. I usually send her home after cooming in an Uber. But yesterday i was like "sensitive" if that makes sense, i felt the need for cuddles. You know the thought guy act gets to tire. In any case she fell sleep and she farted. 2 times. Loud farts. And they were stinky. It was gross. I feel like i lost my lust for her. I never saw a girlfriend farting before. Of course seeing my mom or my sister's is one thing but a partner is different. Will the disgust eventually go away? This morning i her without make up and suddenly i no longer felt she was making me a favor by dating me. She is as human as a normal ugly girl.

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Unreal anonymous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 02/24/22(Thu)23:45:56 No.67565999 >coffee grinder breaks >too poor to buy new one >have to grind coffee by hand with mortar and pestle >takes longer and have to actually use a bit of strength (not a lot obviously but you get the point) >it annoys me at first >wait its actually kind of relaxing >it's nice to work with my hands a bit >feel more fulfilled and appreciate my morning cup of joe a hell of a lot more >weirdly feel more human

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Anon buys Mad Max | /r/Greentext

File: IMAG0093.jpg (3.47 MB, 3024x5376) MA MAX Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:12:59 No.60542803 >>60542835 >>60542839 >>60542951 >>60543285 >>60543617 >>60543656 >>60542742 (OP) >that goblin hand What the f--- man Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:13:17 No.60542807 >>60542839 >>60542951 no one wants to comment on his thumb/hand? like what the f--- you ogre m------------ wut Fury Road Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:10:29 No.60542742 >>60542803 >>60542811 >>6054 >>60543432 >>60543640 >>60543953 >>60544275 >>60544722 >>60544858 >>60545025 >>60545041 >>60545065 Aw yeah, just got back from the cosco to get my copy of fury road. Anyone else picked it up? >>60542800 >>60543184 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:13:19 No.60542811 ► >>60542942 >>60542742 (OP) with those living situation I wouldn't waste my money on physical media >>Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:13:33 No.60542816260542951 >giant rubber hand >obvious r--- dungeon Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:11:36 No.60542764 File: 1440125082117.gif (1.95 MB, 320x240) shill man please leave >> Anonymous 09/01/15 (Tue)16:12:00 No.60542774 ► Shill thread Go back to reddit Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:27:24 No.6054316760543268 File: bush-shock-1.jpg (85 KB, 470x319) av MAL MAX Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:17:10 No.60542916 ► >>60542951 >>60542963 >>60542987 >>60542742 (OP) That carpet is making me even more sick than your ogre hand, my god man, clean up your surroundings! oe Hand >>60542742 (OP) EN >>60542803 WHAT >> Anonymous 09/01/15 (Tue)16:19:36 No.60542987 ► >>60542916 There's no carpet, my floor is concrete. Please stop talking about it. >> Anonymous 09/01/15 (Tue)16:31:57 No.60543285>>60543355 >>60544858 >>60548702 File: toehand.png (1.15 MB, 800x911) THE F--- > Anonymous 09/01/15 (Tue)16:42:46 No.60543573260543600 >>60543652 >>60543692 File: WHAT THE F--- IS THAT THING.jpg (7 KB, 240x240) >>60542742 (OP) WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR THUMB Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:12 No.60543582 ▶ File: 1430596314919.jpg (441 KB, 1688x1704) >>60543538 Jesus Christ... Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:19 No.60543586260544251 >>60543538 Do the homeowners know you live there? >>60543538 Is... Is that an onion in a cage? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:41:11 No.605435386054357360543582 >>60543586 >>60543636 >>6054364260544281 >>6054543960545577 >>60545594 >>60545951 >>60546812>>60549189 File: IMAG0096.jpg (3.17 MB, 3024x5376) >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:53:30 No.60543868 ▶ >>60543918 >>60543817 are you trying to consume your laptops or something? Anonymous I watching movies on the laptop on the right to the one on the left has a broken screen from where I dropped it. Is a lot of clutter but I've been digging out the basement to expand it. Does not look like much but it's comfy >> Anonymous 09/01/15 (Tue)16:56:29 No.60543955 ► >>60543995 >>60543918 ehm waht >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:57:52 No.60543996 >>>60544062 >>60543918 >the people upstairs your owners? >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:52:01 No.60543817 ▶ >>60543854 >>60543868 >>60543915 >>60545951 >>60549189 File: IMAG0097.jpg (3.3 MB, 3024x5376) OP confirmed for Hugo. >>60544168 What's your opinion of onions and/or swamps? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:37:10 No.60546812 ► Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:31:59 No.60545003 >>60545109 >>60544864 Do you have to s--- in there? >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:14:22 No.60542837>>60542951 File: 1434807087835.jpg (20 KB, 150x200) WHAT >that hand >>60544168 >topic at hand >>60543538 DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST AN ONION IN A CAGE >>60544168 >at hand Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:32:25 No.60545025▶>>60545109 >>60545486 File: bart-and-hugo-601x480.jpg (51 KB, 601x480) >>60542742 (OP) Mind posting your entire hand? >>60545003 Im not an animal you a------, I use a bucket >>60545019 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:05:53 No.60544242 ► >>60544313 File: andre-villas-boas-liverpool.jpg (35 KB, 600x428) VIETNAM HAR > Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:14:44 No.60542848 Are you an ogre? >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:07:16 No.60544286 ► >>60544313 File: 1441003637824.png (196 KB, 314x315) FRESH R Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:45:32 No.60543636 >>60543817 File: 1385257075710.jpg (78 KB, 832x584) >>60544864 >the shelf where I'm allowed to keep things Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:33:39 No.60545058 ► >>60545109 >>60544864 Do they hose you down with urine if you don't keep your things there? Thomas Coo Please stop talking about it. BLU-RAY + DVD >>60543636 Out of the three laptops I used for watching movies the Toshiba is the only one that lasted. This one only stays on for an hour before it does on me Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:57:48 No.60543995 ► >>60544032 >>60543955 its why i have so many, I cant afford to even buy used laptops you know. this movie was $20 but i really like it and it was worth it for me Weird right? A lot of the new releases at the store had them >>60545025 Im not posting any more of me >>60545058 Nobody hoses me down with anything god LALTRAVIOLETE Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:55:15 No.60543918 ▶ >>60543955 >>60543996 >>60543868 I keep dropping them or they just break out of nowhere or something. Everytime the people upstairs get a new one they let me have the old ones to watch movies on Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:00:16 No.60544062 ▶► >>60544100 >>60543996 I can't pronounce their names (pollacks) and like f--- im going to type it out. >>60544032 i just told you why they gave me their old laptops. to watch movies on. im glad that the blu rays still come with the DVD copies as an aside >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:41:50 No.60545306 >>60545430 >>60545149 Do your polish owners treat u well? Do they feed u sausage? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:14:27 No.60542839 ► >>60543040 >>60542803 >>60542807 There's nothing wrong with my hands stop talking about them. Лое MAL MAX DO File: IMG_20150829_14291666080.jpg (52 KB, 680x382) hey op whtas your favoirite Mad Max movie? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:58:53 No.60544032 ► >>60544062 >>60543995 no but explain why you're living under someones house, and why do they give you laptops? is it the troll toll? /01/15(Tue)17:28:43 No.60544920 >>60545014 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:03:49 No.60544168 ►>>60544187 >>60544223 >>60544242 >>60544262 >>60544286 >>60544100 Can we please get back to the original topic at hand? i dont feel comfortabel talking about myself Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:01:32 No.60544100 ▶ >>60544168 >>60544062 No but what do they get out of it? Do you give them money or something? I don't understand why they're just giving you laptops. Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:12:51 No.60544454 ► >>60544550 >>60544568 >>60544606 >>60544675 >>60544421 i'm interested cause im Polish myself what country u from? >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:05:24 No.60544223 ► >>60544313 >>60544168 If this is true, just leave this thread buddy, people are only here to have fun and currently it is happening at your expense. >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:04:30 No.60544187 ► >>60544313 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:33:05 No.60545041 ► >>60545149 >>60542742 (OP) Jesus christ OP are you a fckin cave troll? The f--- is wrong with your hand? DIGITAL 6328 99 >>60544684 Fine. Here is the shelf where I'm allowed to keep things. Lucky all these movies come with dvd copies Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:00:08 No.60545814 ► >>60545792 dude what the f--- not retarded. Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:26:45 No.60544864 ▶ >>60545003 >>60545025 >>60545027 >>60545058 >>60545335 >>60545951 >>60549189 File: IMAG0098.jpg (3.23 MB, 3024x5376) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:00:33 No.60545828 >>60545201 >>60545792 are you using a f------ spoon as a shovel? Hand >>60545792 This is absolute b-------. >>60543538 >Toshiba laptop MEL SIDSON MAD MAX Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:03:10 No.60545903 ▶ >>60546201 >>60545792 Did you check where the foundations and pipes are built first? There's no way you 1/10 for making me reply. y THE FILM THAT STARTED IT ALL >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:16:14 No.60546273 File: 1367342991977.gif (953 KB, 245x200) VIOLEMAAN HOTAR Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:17:32 No.60544606 ▶ >>60544670 >>60544454 Nowhere special. The pollacks are from Warsaw I know as much. >>60543132 Is the quality good? I might as well download it too since im not using the ultraviolet service in case the pollacks want to watch it too sometime. Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:45:52 No.60545430 >>60545463 >>60545472 >>60545498>>60545509>>60545528 >>60545529 >>60545951 >>60549189 File: IMAG0099.jpg (2.96 MB, 3024x5376) >>60546201 >they heard me digging. Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:00:46 No.60545835 ► >>60546067 >> OIRapeyFace IKkdFnjR216 09/01/15(Tue)16:55:14 No.60543915 ► >>60543817 >that random toy car on the desk Oh my god I haven't laughed this hard >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:21:44 No.60543040 File: 1401756284962.jpg (46 KB, 691x624) bottle >ogre hand whatthefuck >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:21:53 No.60543044 >>60543117 File: 1424191171991.jpg (48 KB, 253x317) >>60542742 (OP) Is the nail painted? >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:22:14 No.60543055 ▶ File: 905295392085134914.gif (1.73 MB, 320x240) FREK >posts on /tv/ Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:38:11 No.60543458 ► File:LOL TEARS.jpg (49 KB, 331x319) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:35:19 No.60545109 ► >>60545145 >>60545176 >>60545198 >>60545247>>>> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:38:33 No.60545198 ► >>60545218 File: Car.jpg (29 KB, 400x521) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:18:14 No.60544631 File: 1343557433065.jpg (15 KB, 252x300) Good thread Would read again under someone's house >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:52:05 No.60545594 >>60543538 Why there an onion hanging in a cage? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:09:12 No.60546067 ► >>60546135 >>60546162 >>60545835 I use a voice to text speech instead a wish my cellphone the keyboard it's really use over a year, thank you OP. Oh yeah that should be pretty okay I mean I don't pay that much for rent and they give me their used electronics why I have so many laptops and this phone that I'm using Also how many times do I have to reiterate that they are not my owners >>60545285 The big shelves belong to the P------, he's an old bastard who fought in World War 2 and he keeps a lot of memorabilia and stuff from that era inside. Sometimes I go out and I find stuff around in yard sales and I bring it back and he likes that >>60545306 >op is literally an ogre that lives in a dungeon Im not an animal you a------, I use a bucket Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:41:14 No.6054528560545430 >>60545176 If you look at his shelf you can see a glass coca cola bottle, I'm not entirely sure but I think most first world countries use plastic and a lot of third world countries use glass. Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:08:02 No.60544313 ► >>60544365 >>60544370 >>60544187 the first two shrek movies were okay but after that the series wasnt enterainting anymore >>60544223 i should be andle to deal with it by now but sometimes it still hurts speially when im trying to talk about a movie i bought and really like >>60544242 >>60544262 >>60544286 yuuo people are literally the worst, thats a very omcommon phrase >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:06:32 No.60544262 ► >>60544313 File: AYYYYYY.gif (1.61 MB, 500x352) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:33:52 No.60545065 ► >>60545149 >>60542742 (OP) >stubby ogre hands >>60544168 >at hand File: 1297978713716.png (136 KB, 428x510) 2260545100 >luse a bucket Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:59:22 No.60545792 >>60545814 >>60545825 >>60545828 >>60545835 >>60545841 >>60545879 >>60545903 >>60545951 >>60545997 >>60548585 >>60549189 File:IMAG0101.jpg (2.9 MB, 3024x5376) >>60542742 (OP) >Those cumrags >That dirty underwear >Fungus wall and carpet >Empty alcohol >>60542839 There's everything wrong with your hands, but now you're just begging for attention. I mean that thumb is pretty big Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:09:38 No.60544365 >>60544421 >>60544313 how are your owners Pollacks? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:36:43 No.60545149 >>60545176 >>60545284>>60545306 >>60545041 >>60545065 I'm ot a troll It just sort of looks like I live like one sit down there watching movies on that s----- toshiba laptop. And them f------ fingers? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:10:02 No.60544370 ► >>60544401 >>60544421 >>60544313 It seems like you're having trouble typing properly. I wonder why >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:11:53 No.60544421 ► >>60544454 >>60544365 also I'm expanding the basement a little bit on my own accord, it just kind of cramped down there so I'm in the process of digging it out I'm giving myself another room to put stuff in hopefully I'll even get a real TV soon instead of having to use laptops Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:20:18 No.60544684>>60544864 Post more of basement Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:02:02 No.60545879 ► >>60546125 >>60546201 >>60545792 Do you have an expansion or alterations clause in your lease agreement? If not you better negotiate first otherwise there may be trouble bro Ugh They arent my owners i pay them some rent They're pollacks because they come from pole land >>60544370 I switched to keyboard instead of using the voice to text which is why okay. >>60545109 >Im not an animal you a------, I use a bucket Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:48:20 No.60545498 ▶ File: 1420706787821.jpg (26 KB, 409x366) >>60545430 >hand grenades Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:13:44 No.60546201 ► >>60546273 >>60545828 i use a shovel to shovel, im not clawing out the dirt. The spoon is what I eat with and the journal is just for when i feel like writing down my thoughts on things. >>60545879 They said it was ok upstairs after they heard me digging. >>60545903 Of course i am >>60545335 it just keeps getting better and better Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:32:12 No.60545014 ► >>60544920 Road Warror (a------) >>OIRapeyFace IKkdFnjR216 09/01/15 (Tue)17:48:42 No.60545506 >>> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:11:42 No.60546148▶>>60546161 CHARLIZE MAL MAX >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:12:14 No.60546161 ► >>60546148 You need to start believing in ogre stories, anon. You're in one. BLU-RAY DVD DIGITAL WONERS FRESH DIGITAL HO Well the troll had his fun, now stop pretending you all think this is real. >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:54:17 No.60545662 ► File: 1439516488190.jpg (104 KB, 740x740) >this thread >> Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:55:06 No.60545683 ► File: IMG_06082015_220450.png (394 KB, 900x635) >>60542742 (OP) 99 MAL 7UP Why do you live in a r--- dungeon? How many distressed damsels are you hiding down there?! Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:55:40 No.60545693 >>60542742 (OP) F---'s sake, I can't remember the last time a thread made me laugh this hard. of typing on the keyboards it's really useful with my cell phone they gave me an htc one to use they are really really nice people I use the voice to text speech instead of typing on they gave me an h_t_c one to use they are really really nice polishle a lot of times the whole household goes out to see movies together

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Anon gets a vacation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous did i f--- up with my life cho(...) 27 KB PNG 02/01/23(Wed)02:53:01 No.893607738 >be me >today >"woo i finally have vacation until the end of the week" >realize that i dont have anything to do during vacation >tried most linux distros, windows oses and bsds >have no social life or friends so cant go outside (also its like -2 C) >dont have anything intresting to do so all i will probably do is waste my prime years on discord >realize that i will probably have no job or money when i grow up >realize that everything that ive been dreaming of becoming since i was 7 (becoming a programer/sysadmin) will be pointless because of things like chatgpt >realize that most of my skills will become useless and get replaced by ai help fellow anons wat do

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Vroom vroom | /r/Greentext

2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >get in >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM* >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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Anons all live sitcom character type lives I swear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread

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DOCTORS HATE THIS SIMPLE TRICK | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:32:38 No.48253487 >>48253499 >>48253509 >>48253656 >>48253958 >>48254525 >>48255031 >>48255404 >>48255952 >>48255975 >>48256235 >>48257303 >>48257376 >>48257385 >>48258144 tips for getting the old willy turned on? might have a girl over tonight, i have a tendency to be soft. idk why. any tips please fit. i beg'mst tldr: boner hacks really. hold your dong in your hand in a cup like style and then close your hand and pulsate slowly. do this while sniffing from a cup of vinegar from your other hand. its f----- up, but the diffrent sensations takes your mind off of an expected result and while your brain is trying to figure out your autism, the boner should rise. >guy goes soft on me during sex >cantgetworsethanthis.png >he pulls out a bottle of vinegar from nightstand >pours it into a glass and holds it to his nose >starts taking long inhales it while grabbing his limp junk >fuckthisshit.exe >I start getting dressed >between inhales he keeps muttering "dammit fit"

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Anon wants a plush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I need a giant plush of rapidash that I can sit on nude and piss on! I need her to have a mount for a bad dragon sleeve so I can f--- her! I need her to be warmed from the inside, like a heated seat! I need her to be semi posable! >>53125783 # : Anonymous >>53125829 # >>53124972 # What's your price range? : Anonymous # >>53129815 # 01/30/23(Mon)00:02:45 : Anonymous >>53125783 # $5000USD or so. Over if it's necessary, but I'd like to stay around that. It has to support 1000lbs plus being f----- with that weight on top of it though. I'm only 400lbs, but I will have partners using it with me. I'd like to be able to insert toys in the mouth, ass, and p---- of the plush, and maybe have a removable c---. 35 KB JPG >>53125859 # >>53125926 # >>53126903 # >>53127365 # >>53127837 01/30/23(Mon)02:25:34 No.53125783 ******** 01/30/23(Mon)02:33:58 No.53125829 58 KB JPG No.53124972 >>53125881 # >>53126492 # 01/30/23(Mon)02:42:20 No.53125859 >>53125829 # >i'm only 400 pounds christ almighty anon >>53127446 # >>53125829 # >>53125829 # >>53128331 # >*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* >*LAYS DOWN S----- SEWN TOGETHER LIFE SIZE RAPIDASH PLUSH* >I AM HEAVY PLUSH F----- >AND THIS... IS MY PLUSH >SHE WEIGHS 500 LBS AND CAN SUPPORT OVER 1000 LBS OF WEIGHT UPON IT AS I F--- THE S--- OUT OF IT >...IT COSTS $5000USD TO F--- THIS PLUSH... >...FOR 12 SECONDS >OH-HAH-HAH-HAHAHA *SNORT* HAHAHA HO HO но >... >OH MY GOD WHO TOUCH RAPIDASH? >ALRIGHT... >... >WHO TOUCH MY PLUSH?! >SOME PEOPLE THINK I'M OVERWEIGHT >MAYBE >*SNIFF* >MAYBE >I HAVE YET TO MEET ONE WHO CAN OVERWEIGH MY CONFIDENCE >*MUFFLED SOUNDS OF BED CREAKING* >WAAAHHHHH UWAHHHHHHH CRY SOME MOOOOORRREEE >*MUFFLED S----- STOCK HORSE NEIGH FROM THE VOICE BOX* >HEHEHE... CRY SOME MORE... >>53130196 # >>53130256 #

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Anon finds out why technological advancement is happening | /r/Greentext

1d (1/30 15:12) 91224072 190 Re - 28 Img JPG 108KB (1200 × 750) · 1 UblqmBcsbdhQovCRmmRJbQ.jpg 28 Replies JOAQUIN PHOENIX AMY ADAMS ROONEY MARA OLIVIA WILDE AND SCARLETT JOHANSSON her A SPIKE JONZE LOVE STORY >voice generation Al >chatbot Al >stable diffusion Al It's all coming together, isn't it? :

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to /diy/ | /r/Greentext

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Uploaded Feb 01, 2023 at 10:24AM EST

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