O Greta Thunberg is why I lift Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)20:39:39 No.69796206 >>69796224 >>69796229 Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Greta Thunberg? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a c--------. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her c-------- and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't a climate change activist?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Mexico" I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's OK," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Mexico?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon has mastered body and mind. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish 345 KB GIF >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me

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Anon relives a childhood trauma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous teacher trauma thread 48 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue) 20:57:32 No.72046762 or any other adult who had authority over you as a kid and did/said something which still f---- you up to this day, no matter how stupid it was >be me, grade 2 >total asskiss teacher's pet type >always the "good girl" example >hated attention so hated that but that's another talk >christmas holiday coming up! >grandparents are gonna take me to see the nutcracker! >never get to hang out with them! >so excited! >won't shut up about it for like three weeks leading up to it >last day of school before holiday break >show is gonna be that night >do something stupid in class and teacher gets big mad >takes away my markers as "punishment" (doodled all the time, "art kid") >fullblowntantrum.wav >not used to being the "bad kid" >no idea how to handle this kind of attention >"Kids who behave like you don't deserve to go to a nice show with their grandparents!" Still think about that to this day. That teacher was really nice to me before/after that. Have always been told how mild-mannered and well-behaved I was but still convinced that was my one "mask-slip" moment and the only time an adult actually saw/told the truth about me, and that the truth is I'm an absolute p------------ who doesn't deserve anything good.

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Harry Potter and the Coomlet of Fire | /r/Greentext

What would be different in Harry Potter if Draco was a girl named Davina? Anonymous 02/01/23(Wed)16:38:06 No.180027190 ► >got a stiffy, Potter? >:3 >you wish!

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Anon tries to be a funny man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How to get a personality 52 KB JPG >be me, 17 >couple years ago before I found r/greentext and eventually this website I used to be a funny guy and actually was fun to hang around >now I just think about the dreadful future we're headed into, recession, housing, the college debt I'll hold for years, etc. 02/01/23(Wed)18:39:09 No.893639282 Guys I've realised that scrolling on here for too long has genuinely eroded my personality and radicalised me, is there anyway I can stop and become a normie again? >biggest problem isn't talking to women or "pulling" women, it's getting them to stay >last week I went on a date with a Stacy and started talking about how I say the n word not because I'm racist but because it's a political tool the jews use to divide the working class and I'm fighting against it >she made up an excuse and left halfway >w-- do I do bros I miss the younger me if I still had his personality I'd be able to make a girl smile and giggle Anonymous : Anonymous 25 KB JPG 02/01/23(Wed)18:40:45 No.893639312 02/01/23(Wed)18:41:53 No.893639342 >>893639282 (OP) # >the jooz

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Anon has never had banging of pussy | /r/Greentext

#90, No. 893633181 6 hours ago Please excuse of English 7 years from go my mom was single lady because of death. I was 16 years and never had banging of p----. >she says to me, hishdi, when I look at peen is good to put in . >I said, yes we do inside. >when banging of p---- she also make yershkuh on face. >is hot to p---- >I did for 5 years. >s--- was cash af

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anon unvirgins himself | /r/Greentext

: me 28 KB JPG : Anonymous : Anonymous proud of you >she's technically my wife now in my head >later virgins : Anonymous : me 02/01/23(Wed)14:59:45 No.893637891 >be me >never left my room for two weeks >finally get board >decide to look through the window >see a woman walking down the street >it's love at first sight >have a fantasy of her and me getting married >>893637891 (OP) # >bump 02/01/23(Wed)15:34:39 No.893638563 02/01/23(Wed)15:45:17 No.893638746 02/01/23(Wed)15:48:09 No.893638799 02/01/23(Wed)16:29:41 No.893639691 02/01/23(Wed)16:55:19 No.893640268 : Anonymous >>893637891 (OP) # Add me in the screenshot redditfags

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Anon goes to /diy/ | /r/Greentext

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Anon takes femboy pill | /r/Greentext

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i see a white dick and i want it painted black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous | 02/01/23(Wed)12:53:38 No.893634606 1604167495335s.jpg 10 KB JPG SKRITCH SKRYTE SKR >be 15 >friends dad is teacher >be with friend rifling around in his attic >find box full of photos >one of the photos is his dad (pe teacher), the history teacher, and the janitor all standing side by side and arm in arm >all smiling >notice janitor is completely naked >brain slowly trying to comprehend what i'm looking at >his d--- is covered in paint (you can see an open bucket of paint in the bottom of the picture) >stop looking at pictures >go down stiars >never bring it up again >the worst part is i'll never know why

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anon profits off a mans death | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG death 3 Replies 02/01/23(Wed)16:25:40 No.72048961 >Have youtube channel >Make shitpost video about youtuber >He Kills himself >Video skyrockets in views gets to about 25k >Tfw I'm literally profiting of a man's View Thread

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Anon learns girls can fart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)04:29:56 No.28241668 She farted. So basically we have been together over 5 months and last night she stayed. She had never spent the entire night. I usually send her home after cooming in an Uber. But yesterday i was like "sensitive" if that makes sense, i felt the need for cuddles. You know the thought guy act gets to tire. In any case she fell sleep and she farted. 2 times. Loud farts. And they were stinky. It was gross. I feel like i lost my lust for her. I never saw a girlfriend farting before. Of course seeing my mom or my sister's is one thing but a partner is different. Will the disgust eventually go away? This morning i her without make up and suddenly i no longer felt she was making me a favor by dating me. She is as human as a normal ugly girl.

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Unreal anonymous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 02/24/22(Thu)23:45:56 No.67565999 >coffee grinder breaks >too poor to buy new one >have to grind coffee by hand with mortar and pestle >takes longer and have to actually use a bit of strength (not a lot obviously but you get the point) >it annoys me at first >wait its actually kind of relaxing >it's nice to work with my hands a bit >feel more fulfilled and appreciate my morning cup of joe a hell of a lot more >weirdly feel more human

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Greentext Stories - Why we lift | /r/Greentext

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O Greta Thunberg is why I lift Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)20:39:39 No.69796206 >>69796224 >>69796229 Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Greta Thunberg? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a c--------. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her c-------- and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't a climate change activist?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Mexico" I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's OK," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Mexico?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

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