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89 Views • Created about a year ago By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Anon locks his ass | /r/Greentext

Asslock Thread No.896422739 3 hours ago 714TTmmNbcL._AC_SL1500_.jpg JPG 103.3 KiB 1500x1204 >Be me >see this asslock on Amazon >claims to be 100% r--- proof >buy asslock >start wearing it whenever I leave the house >go to late night gym because no ones there >go showering afterwards >suddenly a black guy appears c--- in hand >ohfuck.jpg >"Bend over Whiteboi" >He sees my asslock >"Oh f--- an asslock" and leaves >mfw I just got saved by my asslock >mfw it's really 100% r--- proof Why don't you own an asslock anon? 4 replies No.896423265 3 hours ago controlling-laugh-laughing.gif GIF 555.5 KiB 220x293 No.896423445 3 hours ago >2023 >"ass lock" joke is born >eventually some zoomer takes it seriously >we begin the transition from "pear of anguish" to recreational ass locking i hope you're happy 1 reply . I
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    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
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    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
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    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
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    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
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    : Anonymous 06/11/24(Tue) 07:53:29 No.679315376 HARD CHOICES IN GAMING Bacon omelette. Belgian waffle. IMG_3873.png 703 KB PNG >game sells itself as having "choices that matter and affect the storyline" >the only choice that matters is the final one >game only has two possible endings I hate this s---
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    JIM CAVIEZEL SOUND OF FREEDOM JULY 4 Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:05:33 No.200392684 >>200394255 >>200394281 >>200394317 >>200394389 >>200394525 >drug dealing and drug trafficking gets millions of movies and tv shows >human and child trafficking and organ dealing gets 1 movie, barely known why is this Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:21 No.200392696 >>200392684 (OP). jews Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:46 No.200392709 >>200392684 (OP) >>200392696 >>200392709 >>200392717 >>200392723 >>2003927 >>200394171 >>200394255 >>200394526 Remember when leftoids boycotted this movie hard and acted like it was a personal attack against them? I wonder why.
    JIM CAVIEZEL SOUND OF FREEDOM JULY 4 Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:05:33 No.200392684 >>200394255 >>200394281 >>200394317 >>200394389 >>200394525 >drug dealing and drug trafficking gets millions of movies and tv shows >human and child trafficking and organ dealing gets 1 movie, barely known why is this Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:21 No.200392696 >>200392684 (OP). jews Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:46 No.200392709 >>200392684 (OP) >>200392696 >>200392709 >>200392717 >>200392723 >>2003927 >>200394171 >>200394255 >>200394526 Remember when leftoids boycotted this movie hard and acted like it was a personal attack against them? I wonder why.
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    ⠀ Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)06:52:09 No.250341473 >fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures >still using horses as main transportation 86 KB PNG ⠀ Anonymous >>250341473 (OP) # 03/21/23(Tue)06:56:27 No.250341651 >setting has nuclear energy >still using coal as main energy source >>250341784 # >>250343657 # >>250344673 # >>250346290 #
    ⠀ Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)06:52:09 No.250341473 >fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures >still using horses as main transportation 86 KB PNG ⠀ Anonymous >>250341473 (OP) # 03/21/23(Tue)06:56:27 No.250341651 >setting has nuclear energy >still using coal as main energy source >>250341784 # >>250343657 # >>250344673 # >>250346290 #
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    Anonymous (ID: WHUEFS/6) 06/21/24(Fri)14:52:37 No.471768635 Subscribe Dexerto⭑ @Dexerto Streamer Dantes leaves girlfriend to focus on League of Legends five months after she got his name tattooed on her chest Dantes Or9184b4lv7d1.jpg 76 KB JPG >get girlfriend >she tattoos your name on her body >leave to play LoL >refuse to elaborate
    Anonymous (ID: WHUEFS/6) 06/21/24(Fri)14:52:37 No.471768635 Subscribe Dexerto⭑ @Dexerto Streamer Dantes leaves girlfriend to focus on League of Legends five months after she got his name tattooed on her chest Dantes Or9184b4lv7d1.jpg 76 KB JPG >get girlfriend >she tattoos your name on her body >leave to play LoL >refuse to elaborate
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    Anonymous 138 KB PNG the house How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. >Start a hobby which gets you out >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy
    Anonymous 138 KB PNG the house How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. >Start a hobby which gets you out >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy
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