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72 KB JPG >be me >exhausted after long day of shitposting >lay down on couch >fall asleep >have long vivid dream >in dream have a successful career >have a beautiful wife >have plenty of friends >life is basically perfect >go to doctor one day >tells me i have stage four terminal cancer >go home, tell wife >she breaks down crying >that night can't sleep, decide to take a walk >look up at the sky >see a shooting star >close my eyes, wish for cancer to be gone >open my eyes >back on my couch >cancer is gone but I am now a fat autistic NEET that shitposts for ten hours every single day Careful what you wish for.

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon is a giant idiot. | /r/Greentext

>plan on going to sleep early >decide to masturbate to help me fall asleep >can't decide what video to nut with >stay up because im picky with p--- 8 KB JPG >stay up the whole night >pic related

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Anon's dad is a chad | /r/Greentext

My father just embarrassed me. Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)08:13:30 No.73038995 [Reply] ► >Be my parents >Mom is a successful counselor whose main clients are rich divorced women >Dad is a highly experienced botanist who specializes in crops >due to years working in the field (huh, field) he looks and acts just like a regular old farmer like the guy in pic except 10 times as tanned >Despite that is in a good, healthy relationship with my mother >cut to yesterday, my birthday >Mom told us to go to the city she works in after work >I went there first and wore some fancy clothes because I know something's up if my mom told us to go to the city in my birthday >Mom also dressed up nicely with a lot of jewelry >turns mom had reserved a table at a famous restaurant in the city >It's literally the fanciest of fancy restaurants, with high prices and clearly rich patrons >wait for my father to come >He came >He is in his f------ sweaty farmer clothes and is covered in dirt >he didn't change after work >Speaks with a loud southern accent he learned from his farming buddies with excessive swearing >Mom seems okay with that but I want to bury myself in a hole >Everyone stared at our table uncomfortably during the entire dining experience >After we finished our meal, I urged mom to leave the venue asap but she winked and said there's a live band performance after this >The performers came in >tfw it's my favorite band >tfw they stared at my dad uncomfortably during the entire performance >tfw they stared at me uncomfortably too I want to f------ kill myself right now....... Why must my father pursue botany instead of some fancier FOS like I dunno law?

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Anon fears kokonut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG >>634798145 # 04/21/23(Fri)01:13:41 No.634797176 : Anonymous >" 1.38 MB PNG 11 >"Anyway, Pandora's Forest really suits you" >"...Do you want me to read the dialogue for you?" 11 : Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)01:14:27 No.634797236 Get the f--- out of here Kokonut or whatever the f--- your name is >"Oh, you noticed me? You were so close too." >"I lubricated the door hinges last night, now you can't really hear if I open the door..." 04/21/23(Fri)01:28:26 No.634798145 >>634797236 # >"What, never seen a girl as tough as me?"

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Anon gets to live his best life | /r/Greentext

It's time to kick men out of workplaces. It's time to kick men out of w(...) It's Time to Admit That Allowing Men Into the Workplace Was a Mistake <EXIT By Ruth Graham Admit it: 04/16/23(Sun)08:35:56 No.423743679 Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Thinkstock. MenOut.png 267 KB PNG https://slate.com/human-interest/2017/10/lets- ban-men-from-workplaces.html : Anonymous (ID: 5B7t8li7) s--- they know 04/16/23(Sun)08:37:58 No.423743877 Feminism is just a long con by the patriarchy to allow men to take their final form as stay-at-home gamers by convincing women that taking on more responsibility is "empowering" and "liberating" no one will believe her 1656382856370.png 404 KB PNG They finally took the bait >>423746024 # >>423747363 # >>423752624 # >>423762098 #

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Anon works from home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri) 14:35:36 No.897960909 >be me, 2020 >get a new job where I work from home >sweet >girlfriend is an essential worker, still has to go out every single day >not sweet >she's gone out of the house for 9-10 hours per day, leaving me to work in peace and quiet >sweet >COVID restrictions are laxed with the vaccine >sweet >still be able to work from home >sweet >girlfriend finds a new job that she does unpredictably from home or from work >sweet? >she stays home or shows up back home unpredictably >starts pacing around the house, chattering, telling me everything about her day, asking what we're going to eat, showing me tiktoks, etc etc etc >can't focus on my work >decide to take the rest of the day off the first few times she does that >it becomes a pattern >can't plan my work beforehand because she never knows if she's doing half a day, just two hours, or just not going to work today >so I never know how long my workday can be >negotiate her to leave me alone when I'm working >she agrees to do so, and does it really well for like an hour and a half >forgets that she wasn't supposed to bother me, comes chattering to me again >doesn't register at all when I gently tell her to let me be and let me work >gets upset if I firmly tell her to let me be and let me work >this repeats for several weeks >my work suffers so badly that I rent out a small office space >I rent out my own office >I go to an office every day >to work from home >mfw I pay rent for two f------ places entirely because of my girlfriend's inability to shut the f--- up from time to time

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Anon takes the nuanced approach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 311 KB PNG 04/21/23(Fri)09:31:39 No.897963769 >ban guns >arm schools with guns both retarded takes here's the solution >every other school shooter is an incel >find the top 5 manwhores g----------- >find the top 5 w----- getting f----- and also being gawked at by incels >find top 5 cuties being harassed by incels >arm all 15 of those at each school >within days, they will finish all the incels >America saved

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Anon has a taste test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 610 KB PNG subhuman : Anonymous 325 KB JPG 06/23/21 (Wed)09:47:27 No.64270753 >be me >jerking off >c-- >try tasting my own semen This s--- is disgusting, how come women and f------ enjoy this crap. No wonder they are f------ 06/23/21 (Wed)09:55:01 No.64270835 Doesnt what you eat/drink have something to do with it? >how come women and f------ enjoy this crap You are a f----- now, figure it out

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Anon does not like j£ws | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 61 KB JPG 04/21/23(Fri)01:15:44 No.897950794 So turns out Jews are retarded, Hitler offered to give them all of Madagascar but they chose a little strip of useless land instead. Jewish stubbornness caused the holocaust, not Hitler or white supremacy. View Thread

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Anon does not really know. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 295 KB PNG 12/15/21 (Wed)15:04:47 No.665757 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.665758 Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

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Anon's attempt at downloading GNU/Linux. | /r/Greentext

No. 87379666 7 minutes ago linux.png PNG 115.8 KiB 522x747 >so I decided to try this Linux thing >google "how to install linux" >apparently i have to choose a "distro" >google "best linux distros" >literally 8 to 10 recommendations every single time >might as well stick to the ones that are for beginners >google each one individually and discover that linux users s--- on every single one of them >"Ubuntu/Linux Mint/Fedora/elementary/Manjaro is trash, it breaks, it doesn't support [random word], [insert other distro] is better" etc >w-- is their problem >going to stick to windows because linux users are seething retards ...

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Anon has traumatic experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I was abused by a 300 pound at(...) Joe. Camel. ich Shri Ar P po de competen 134 KB JPG 04/20/23(Thu)22:14:47 No.897942877 >Be me >Be 16 (in 2002) >Be troubled teen in conservative Arizona >Height of sheriff joes popularity, with many working in law enforcement or corrections idolizing him >get caught smoking brick weed that barely had any thc in it at all by security guard at the mall. >get handed notice to appear in court >65 days in a s------- private juvvy >It was indoor and we had AC and school inside. But any time not spent in school meant you got put on the yard in 130+ weather. >The director of the place is a 300 pound d---, she pretended like she was the female incarnation of joe arpaio. >Would do things like eating five guys in front of us while we were served slop. >changing the tv we were watching to something childish such as cartoon network or disney channel (and then lock up the remote for the night). >When kids would cry she would talk to them in her condescending southern accent, she would say just the right things to set them off and make them more upset. >Banned any drinks besides water because "Its more healthy", yet she drank a smoothie in front of us while announcing the policy. >Would randomly order "shake downs" and break our stuff / rip up our family pictures / letters. 3 Replies This whole experience has to lead me to never be able to trust a woman. Im damn near a 40 year old and scared to talk to girls, and I blame our f----- up system for the trauma this d--- has caused me. View Thread

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Anon is one of the top 100 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/23 (Wed)05:20:01 No.70676220 >>70676030 # was just thinking last night that i'm probably one of the top 100 most sexually depraved people in the world because I masterbate with sandpaper and drink my blood-related sister's pee out of the toilet but after seeing this post I have faith that I might not be 60 KB JPG >>70676227 # >>70676228 # >>70676242 # >>70676437 # >>70678180 # >>70680074 # >>70682114 # >>70682127 # >>70686130 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

72 KB JPG >be me >exhausted after long day of shitposting >lay down on couch >fall asleep >have long vivid dream >in dream have a successful career >have a beautiful wife >have plenty of friends >life is basically perfect >go to doctor one day >tells me i have stage four terminal cancer >go home, tell wife >she breaks down crying >that night can't sleep, decide to take a walk >look up at the sky >see a shooting star >close my eyes, wish for cancer to be gone >open my eyes >back on my couch >cancer is gone but I am now a fat autistic NEET that shitposts for ten hours every single day Careful what you wish for.

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