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Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)04:46:26 No.70663612 ► >>70664848 >>70669108 >>70661812 (OP) this one happened a few weeks ago >at health food store buying whey >6/10 blonde (still a qt) is ringing me up >typical customer service smalltalk >break in conversation >she says, "Okay, weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" >I'm shocked, manage to say thanks >"Yea, just something about it is very aesthetically pleasing" >tell her she is too kind and leave the store should have at least asked for her number, I don't think there is more of a slam dunk than that Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)18:12:04 No.70669108 >>70669150 >>70672725 >>70663612 >>70664848 >"weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" Th-Thanks, Y-you too...to sit on... >"What?" It's comfortable seating.....my face when...I mean, my face..... >Ummmm, okay? I mean you could sit, not that i'd want you to, haha, I mean if you wanted....I mean..... >Here's you reciept.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon breaks world record | /r/Greentext

Anonymous today @ time o'clock_no.# 1 > 420 replies [STICKED THREAD] >be me >make up a fake greentext story on reddit >everyone is fooled >one million upvotes in my pocket >the world record association contacts me >ask me to become CEO of world record enterprizes international >say no >open youtube >type in female try on haul >masturbate (this part is real) thumbs_up_cool_brother.jpg

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Anon is not a fan of blacks | /r/Greentext

: Kek I hate n------ 105 KB JPG 07/11/21(Sun)00:43:42 No.64516704 >be me >34 year old white American burger >hate n------ >n------ ruined America >n------ ruined everything >sick of f------ n------ >a wild idea appears >Google whitest country on Earth >Ukraine >f--- it, buy one way plane ticket >sell everything >get on plane, ohshitniggawutareyoudoing? >land in Kyiv, Ukraine >everyone is white >everyone is nice >everyone hates n------ >feelsgoodman.jpg >finally happy with life >walk around city >find gigantic frog statue, pic related >praise Kek, it was destined >mfw I move to Ukraine because I hate n------

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When the girl you meet to specifically not make you feel lonely makes you lonely | /r/Greentext

148 KB JPG >finally get a gf >cute face, nice body, finally have sex >doesn't feel as fulfilled as I thought. Enjoy my time off when she leaves why?

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Anon takes a bath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)17:57:08 No.73076544 29 comfy.jpg 271 KB JPG >>73076252 (OP) # I'm in heaven. >taking a bath and listening to the beatles Why didn't you f------ tell me how good this feels?

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Proudly made in the U.S.A. baby! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife 68 KB JPG

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Anon gives away assist kills. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: h03c1sPe 10/25/19(Fri)20:17:57 No.231114487 >>231113120 (OP) # It's cool, I post regular girls on Reddit and say I just started transitioning so trannies kill themselves

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Anon went to the Club | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How can clubs be fun? mys 246 KB JPG 04/24/23(Mon)11:42:41 No.73075546 >went to the club for the first time with my normie friends >music loud af and annoying >everyone around me is annoying me >just 5 mins in and already hate it >with friends at the bar ordering some drinks >"anon this girl keeps looking at you" >look around and a girl is indeed looking at me >panic.jpg >tell my friend to shut up >friend keeps bugging me and other friends join in >eventually lose it and yell at them to leave me alone >leave them at the bar >they dont even follow >go home >get a few calls and dont answer them >this was 2 weeks ago and none of them has texted or called me again >mfw the club ruined my friendships I dont get how normies can unironically enjoy it. Most horrible experience of my life

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Anon is against abortion | /r/Greentext

04/16/23(Sun)12:49:19 No.72971604 Just found out my sister who I thought was a good person, is planning on having an abortion and even refers to her pregnancy as the "thing", justifies it on having unprotected sex with her bf as a "woopsie" and she needs to manifest a good life after getting this "thing" out of her. I tried my best to guide her in the right direction bros, but at the end of the day she's just another woman of her time. I f------ hate this clown world. : Anonymous 49 KB JPG

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Anon Freeman is the key to the survival of the Vance bloodline. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)10:24:43 No.635108083 ► File: 1584202039714.jpg (197 KB, 300x455) >get in the chamber Gordon, nice and easy >yes, that's my naked daughter in the bed, and she's sedated >don't make me f------ spell it, just do her Gordon >I don't care, I can't risk it Gordon, I'm not leaving the chamber, you're gonna have to do it while I watch, just deal with it and get to it already man what the f--- did I just play

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Anon is from Portland | /r/Greentext

File: 2023-02-01 at 01-44-37 He(...).png (549 KB, 625x582) Heroin is now legal in Vancouver-and addicts are celebrating https://archive.is/G17k8 Police simply wall past deg users in new faw comes into forcedes 2272 d hom started year in Brah Colminta D-1909 T Canada - Heroin is now legal in Vancouver - addicts are celebrating Anonymous (ID: mFRyJU2r) 02/01/23(Wed)01:55:21 No.414416625 ► >>414417026 >>414417135 >>414417358 >>414417561 >>414417567 >>414417632 >>414417798 >>414417840 >>414417878 >>414417973 >>414418069 >>414418100 >>414418129 >>414418136 >>414418440 >>414418478 >>414418539 >>414418815 >>414418903 >>414419060 >>414419151 >>414420208 >>414420236 >>414420334 >Police simply walk past drug users as new law comes into force despite 2,272 deaths from illicit substances last year in British Columbia >Thanks to a radical new policy introduced by British Columbia, one of Canada's most liberal provinces, adults in possession of 2.5g of heroin, fentanyl, cocaine, methamphetamine or ecstasy will not be arrested or even have their drugs seized. The new role of the police in this part of Western Canada is "to redirect people who possess small amounts of certain illegal drugs away from the criminal justice system and towards health and social services," said Staff Sergeant Kris Clark. >The ultimate goal, Ms Bennett said, "is to save lives". https://archive.is/Gi7k8 My hatred of Canadians grows every day. Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:18:53 No.414418338 ► >>414418711 >>414418904 >>414419555 Hey Canada it's me Portland just calling to let you know what's next. Yeah we did this one already You will now have a couple types of "Homeless" people appearing. I put homeless in quotes because the average weird loner bum hobo, and the poor person out of work aren't the types you'll be seeing. First are land pirates. they steal everything, even things you wouldn't think needed to be stolen or could be stolen. Whether it's copper wiring out of every construction sight, or just some food from a corner store, they will take with no f---- given. They may drive a van through the window of a store just to steal $40 worth of chips and candy, or they might steal a forklift and try and take an entire ATM. It simply doesnt matter, they just take. They'll steal trashcans, theyll steal pallets, theyll steal bikes, theyll steal entire sheds, they'll do anything they feel like doing in an endless drive to gather resource to built little huts out of, and resell in order to make drugs. This eventually overwhelms police, they simply won't show up if you call them to come deal with burglary. They wont even take a report-- they're busy dealing with the third piece of this post. Whatever small businesses you like, they won't be there anymore. Eventually insurance stops paying out or raises rates, and suddenly running a corner store is impossible. Your local bike shop, favorite restaurants, everything. It's all gone and everything that can be taken by land pirates, who will turn it into heroin and meth. Eventually the land pirates mobilize, they might steal a box truck or campervan, and just let it rot somewhere while they live out of it. Theyll use it to break things, and theyll steal gas to drive it around sometimes. The landpirates will congregate outside of stores, not quite on store property but not quite off of it either. Theyll leave their tents, trash, campers, trash, and fires there while they take turns running into the store and stealing things. (1/3) Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:23:56 No.414418711 ► >>414419332 >>414419555 >>414419719 >>414419850 >>414418338 The next type are just actual zombies. If you havent seen them before, or maybe you have, they have no thoughts or feelings, no real discernable gender were it not for facial hair, or pretty much any features resembling conciousness besides a humanish shape. They steal sometimes but mostly just rot away in public, sometimes naked, pissing and s-------, stinking and loud, and theyre the worst of the bunch. Theyre completely insane, maybe they had schizophrenia before they started drugs, or maybe the meth is just as neurotoxic as studies suggest. Eventually their worless screams will just fill the air and terrorize your kids as you just have to pretend you just dont see them. Maybe they were veterans, maybe they werent, maybe they worked, maybe they were always like this, they're a f------ pain. One will decide your corner is a great place to stand and screech all night long, or maybe your car was a good place to s--- and lay down for a while. It's not even clear how they get money for their endless drug abuse, maybe they cant and this is just an endless state of withdrawal. But theyre not functional enough to steal in any effective way, they cant resell bike parts on offerup, they cant use a hacksaw for catalytic convertors, they just barely exist in the first place. Theyll scream names, theyll scream gibberish, theyll attack people, theyll start fires. And every liberal you know feels bad for them and any attempts to stop them from living the way they do is seen as inhumane. (2/3) Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:31:52 No.414419332 ► >>414419555 >>414419827 >>414420069 >>414420364 >>414418711 The final new comer will be the drug dealer. They may be on drugs themselves, they might have a home or a camper. They don't care about anything, they will pure fentanyl to a 12yo if they have $5-10 in hand or in stolen goods. They're the most lucid of the "Homeless" but they're also the most deadly. They have guns, stolen or legal, and they use them whenever they feel like it. Whather it's to threaten some junkie w---- into letting them r--- her, or just to kill someone else exactly like them. Youll have to hear about the rise in crime, youlln have to worry about being out in areas where they are, and youll have to hear the gunshots. 100% of police presence will be wasted having to deal with them. And the public will hate every bit of it-- they cant get the police to come for property crime, and they hate that the police are "criminalizing poverty" by trying to stop merchants of poison. Because the drug dealling crusties blend in so well with the Land Pirates and Drug Zombies, the average liberal sees them as all just "poor people down on their luck living in a society", and any attempts to curtail sale of infinite fentanyl will be seen as a human rights violation, or puritanical war on drugs, etc. Your new laws most likely have already helped them. They send their lackies out with the "legal" amount of drugs to possess and have them distribute it all before coming back for more. This is where the Chesa Boudins of the world come from, despite the crimerate spike being obvious, they can artifically decrease it by just not charging anyone. Police stop picking people up, because they know they wont stay in jail, and then DA stops prosecuting, so they aren't considered "fascist" by the liberal populace. So enjoy your three new types of friend. If you have them already, youll have more, they may not be from Vancouver, they may not even be from Canada. >t. Born in Portland, finally got my cash and left last year.

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ANON HAS A BAD DAY | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mad sad pepe.jpg, 50KiB, 596x590 Anonymous Sat 14 Oct 2017 13:53:27 No.40400200 >be me >about 330 in the morning >zulu time (gotta stay on top of those coumterstrike f---) >just spent the past 8 hours playing runescape with sonic underground playing in the backround >just ate the last bit of my sweet chili doritos and on my last case of Dr. Thunder >resupply convoy needed.jpg >grab bitch summoning stick >bang said bitch sommoning stick on mlp poster on summers face >f------ normalfag roastie ponyslut (she'll get her just deserts one day) >here footsteps coming >its mummy with tendies >4 minutes and 55 seconds not too shabby >here you go sugar, says mummy >she turns to leave >"forgetting something you f------ dunce"? >mummy says "sorry sweet heart ill put on thomas the train for you" View Report >thats more f------ like it.jpg >she even started playing the end credits song from peewees playhouse over the intro to thomas the train because i had to teach her it sounds more asthetic (thats another story in itself) >she leaves >somethings not right.jpg > i look at tendies, somethings off, i go retrieve my exacto knife from where i tried to get the triforce by opening the ocarina of time cartridge 10 years ago, f------ lying newgrounds f------ >i cut into tendies >F------ MICROWAVED >JUST AT THIS TIME THOMAS THE TRAIN STARTS AND SHE DIDNT PUT IN THE DVD THAT DOES THE EPISODES IN KANJIIII >RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >SAMSON OPTION ENGAGED >GRAB 5 GALLON BUCKET OF GASOLINE AND DUMP IT ALL OVER MY BED >THISISMYLASTRESORT.MP4 >light that s--- >use all my strength to roll downstairs and start the car >put that s--- in reverse and get out >run head first into cement wall >give myself bloody concussion just you wait mummy, when social services come, it will be you whos final tendie is done!

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anon is about to find out she doesnt want to fuck him cuz he's like a brother to her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 734 KB PNG 12/17/22(Sat) 19:04:00 No.71440608 >be friends with a couple >they have messy break-up >im the girl's only friend left due to reasons that weren't really her fault >my other friend (her now ex-bf) seems indifferent about the breakup (it was a long relationship) and knows I'm the only person she talked to outside of him >girl tells me that she's horny but i also know she's been sleeping with a lot of people post-break-up so think nothing of it >talks about how she's driving ~20 miles to f--- this dude from her university >meeting up with her at her house in a few days I have full intentions of taking advantage of her being a w---- and losing my virginity but I just can't comprehend why women just w---- themselves out of breakups. Any ideas on why this is anons?

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Greentext Stories - My face when slam dunk has no net or rimming | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)04:46:26 No.70663612 ► >>70664848 >>70669108 >>70661812 (OP) this one happened a few weeks ago >at health food store buying whey >6/10 blonde (still a qt) is ringing me up >typical customer service smalltalk >break in conversation >she says, "Okay, weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" >I'm shocked, manage to say thanks >"Yea, just something about it is very aesthetically pleasing" >tell her she is too kind and leave the store should have at least asked for her number, I don't think there is more of a slam dunk than that Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)18:12:04 No.70669108 >>70669150 >>70672725 >>70663612 >>70664848 >"weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" Th-Thanks, Y-you too...to sit on... >"What?" It's comfortable seating.....my face when...I mean, my face..... >Ummmm, okay? I mean you could sit, not that i'd want you to, haha, I mean if you wanted....I mean..... >Here's you reciept.

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