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Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)07:24:23 No.898564323 >be me, dating a girl who's weird as hell but still way out of my league >happen to find her blog, can't resist snooping around >oh look, her likes are public >it's 90% pictures and video clips of dudes >either talking or doing random s---, playing an instrument, showing off a pet, one huge tatted samoan m----------- doing backflips, more often than not they're shirtless >and they're all goofy-looking fat dudes >mfw I am a goofy-looking fat dude >every post like this has so many horny comments, absolute thirsting >horny guy comments outnumber girls like 10 to 1 but they sure are horny >mfw my girlfriend isn't dating me despite of my looks, she straight-up has a fetish for guys who look like this >mfw I'm not hot enough for instagram or OnlyFans but apparently I would do numbers on Tumblr

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Coated feelings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB JPG 08/19/21(Thu)09:30:47 No.65046920 >become in love with my sister >don't even see any other woman as a potential mate >can never confess my feelings to her because it might drive her away and f--- my relationship with my family >might as well just kill myself you don't know true pain 08/19/21(Thu)09:36:25 No.65046961 Anonymous >>65046920 (OP) # >wear a fake mustache and a trenchcoat and ask your sister out in your deepest voice

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Anon wants a perfect woman | /r/Greentext

File: 1603945685725.jpg (26 KB, 540x504) << Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:19:33 No.73170849► >>73170870 >>73170896 Does the perfect woman even exist? I'm sick and tired of not being able to find the perfect woman who: >Thinks rationally like a man >Not overweight >Politically active >Muscular and lean body >Wants to support a family and be tradwife >Submissive >Nice ass and small t--- >Has a c--- >Won't nag me all the time How f------ impossible are these standards? Am I doomed? Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:21:27 No.73170870 >>73170849 (OP) >like a man □ Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:23:28 No.73170896 File: 1671288934707.jpg (254 KB, 1053x890) >>73170849 (OP) >perfect woman >Has a c--- >Has a c--- There are a ton of t----- tradlarpers, they're practically the default. Something does not add up. If he has c---, that is man. You can't have woman with c--- you imbecile.

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A.I. Replacement Greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A.I. Replacement greentext thr(...) 05/02/23(Tue)14:55:07 No.93164225 >Be successfully making good money in high level copywriting >GPT makes me irrelevant in 1 month or less >Lose job >Move in with my friends, get job 84 KB JPG wage slaving at a restaurant to make ends meet in the meantime. >Post about it online, ask for advice >Everyone screeches GeT Good, bRo! lEaRn NeW SkiLLs. PIVOT!!1! >spend 6 months of free time and $5,000 learning NewSkill at school for future work in an unrelated industry. >Graduate from program, excited to try something new. >Use GPT to market my skills online >Apply for jobs using GPT generated resume >Get interview >Job offer accepted! Finally able to get my life back on track. >Get call next day from new boss, sorry we aren't hiring for this position anymore. >DrinkingHeavily.jpeg >Drunkenly go online to order pizza. Google tells me GPT-NewSkill was just released, covering all the skills I just took 6 months to learn, and it has a gyrating dildo attached to pleasure the user at the same time. >Post about it on Reddit. >BrO JUST PIVOT. LeArN to SuCK C--- BetTeR ThAn GpT!!!1! >MFW

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Anon has a screw loose... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 57 KB JPG >happened like 20 minutes ago >stay up all night doing schoolwork and s--- 04/20/20(Mon )09:27:50 No.57754465 >whenever i go a full night with no sleep i feel really anxious and paranoid >sitting in living room >drinking water >brain waves flatline >forget i have to swallow the water >open my mouth and all the water falls out >hits my lap >cold as f--- >scares the f--- out of me >piss myself >see my dad standing there, he watched the whole thing >realize i p----- myself >run to my room what my dad saw: >take a sip of water >spit it out >look over at him >sprint upstairs i think im retarded

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Anon gets his heart broken | /r/Greentext

1.61 MB JPG do you guys like my guinea pig : Anonymous >>3987437 (OP) # I like the guinea pig but hate you. >>3987528 # >>3991621 # : Anonymous >>3987453 # Why 11/23/21(Tue)21:05:06 No.3987453 11/23/21(Tue)23:00:41 No.3987528

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Anon talks about possums | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wfjXuloe 05/01/23 (Mon)13:31:54 No.425492151 >>425489073 Possums aren't sweethearts, they're giant rats. >angry >violent >greedy >so profoundly lazy they would rather roll over and die than run or fight a predator >terroritorial >meandering >fat >ugly >trasheating I relate to them so much. I love possums.

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Anon gets bit | /r/Greentext

African village terrorised by gay baboon who recently r---- 5 men DOOGBE >be me >finally muster up the courage to ask my crush out on a date 57 KB JPG >decide to take her to a fancy restaurant to impress her >we're having a great time until suddenly we hear a loud noise from above >a raccoon drops down from the ceiling, hissing and foaming at the mouth >people are screaming and running in every direction, but my date and I freeze in fear >the raccoon charges at us and I try to defend her, but it's no use >it bites me on the arm and I feel an involuntary bowel movement >my date is horrified and starts to panic >we manage to escape to the bathroom, but it's too late for me >I sit there in embarrassment, I hear a commotion outside >turns out the police have been called and are in a standoff with the raccoon >more involuntary bowel movements >I'm still stuck in the bathroom, wondering how I'm going to explain the mess >eventually, the police manage to catch the raccoon and it's all over but the damage has been done >the cops manage to catch the raccoon, but not before it bites a few people >they also notice the mess in the bathroom and accuse me of public indecency >I try to explain the situation, but they don't believe me >my date is traumatized and I'm humiliated >I try to apologize and explain, but she's having none of it >she leaves the restaurant in a hurry and I'm left sitting there, feeling like a complete idiot lesson learned, always be prepared for unexpected situations and never underestimate the power of a wild animal.

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Anons first momery | /r/Greentext

File: Sun Baby_Intro.PNG.png (572 KB, 1024x576) >pic rel >my mom leans over and playfully says >"that's you, you're a little baby" >perfectly understand >tfw my first memory was of watching tv First memory thread Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)00:46:05 No.898548812>>898548987 >>898549210 >>898549353 >>898549359 >>898549801 >be me >in diapers >maybe 2 yrs old >in bouncer in front of TV >the teletubbies baby sun is rising and the intro is playing

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anon misses his friend, plays 40k to remember him (sorry if repost) | /r/Greentext

16 KB PNG >Me and childhood friend get into warhammer together when we were 10 >Friend gets Dark Angels and i get IG >Played alot of 2vs2 games and he would always deepstrike his deathwing to protect my artillery >Painted models to look like us >Friend died from cancer 5 years ago and left all of his warhammer stuff to me >Always bring an allied detachment of dark angels deathwing now >Always have them deepstrike to protect my basilisks >Have won me many games including one where the model representing my friend rolled four sixes in melee and slaughtered a daemon prince >His models always seem to roll well It hurts, Anons.

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Anon figured out philosophy | /r/Greentext

TE Philosophy is so easy Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:01:32 No.898543293 >>898543394 >be me >think >am I think I got this philosophy stuff figured out pretty well /b/ros □ Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:02:37 No.898543348 909512210

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Anon requests for a hug | /r/Greentext

Minza >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

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All Women are the same | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)14:07:06 No.28866843 52739.jpg 3.58 MB JPG >put a roof under her head >feed her the best quality food >pour her the purest water straight from a new Mountain Valley Spring bottle >take her to the best veterinarian in the City >buy her any toy she wants to keep her entertained >treat her like a queen >respect her privacy >TFW I'm basically her paypig >in return; she hisses at me for causing any minor inconvenience >bites me if i touched her in some way >doesn't respect my personal space, >won't sit on my lap >probably sees the neighbor's cat behind my back

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)07:24:23 No.898564323 >be me, dating a girl who's weird as hell but still way out of my league >happen to find her blog, can't resist snooping around >oh look, her likes are public >it's 90% pictures and video clips of dudes >either talking or doing random s---, playing an instrument, showing off a pet, one huge tatted samoan m----------- doing backflips, more often than not they're shirtless >and they're all goofy-looking fat dudes >mfw I am a goofy-looking fat dude >every post like this has so many horny comments, absolute thirsting >horny guy comments outnumber girls like 10 to 1 but they sure are horny >mfw my girlfriend isn't dating me despite of my looks, she straight-up has a fetish for guys who look like this >mfw I'm not hot enough for instagram or OnlyFans but apparently I would do numbers on Tumblr

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April 2025 4chan Sharty Hack And Janitor Email Leak

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