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283 KB JPG >UFO sightings have recently increased over 500% >Dept of Defense all of a sudden streamrolling through alien/ufo disclosure >10 ft alien spotted in a mexican's backyard in vegas >Intel community leaders had a meeting at Wright Patterson AFB, rumored to be the location of several captured UFOs >"Five Eyes" UFO briefing (thanks to retarded Canadians for leaking) >Gang of 8 emergency briefing in Senate SCIF >Congress announced their own briefing >Congress will not vote for the rest of the week >NASA says we need to prepare for total internet blackout that will last months Im not saying its happening but its happening guys. This could be the biggest happening of all happenings. I seriously think Earth is being invaded by aliens.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 359 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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One swallow does not a summer make | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.43 MB PNG 2 Replies 01/09/23 (Mon)13:21:00 No.71756855 >>71756997 # >Mom walked in on me with my practice gf (male) Anonymous >>71756855 (OP) # Can we see your practice gf? View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)13:25:05 No.71756888 : Anonymous >>71756888 # No, his wet boipussy is only for me. 01/09/23 (Mon)13:37:27 No.71756997

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Anons have an intelligent conversation about the English language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon) 09:31:09 No.172717319 >not to mention >mentions it 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 367 KB PNG : Anonymous 8 KB PNG : Anonymous 275 KB PNG 10/24/22(Mon)09:34:33 No.172717375 >needless to say >says it 10/24/22(Mon)09:35:46 No.172717399 >not to be racist but >is racist 10/24/22(Mon)09:36:11 No.172717404 >thought >He didn't think

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Anon Likes Femboys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Nofap does things to you ON ABOVE 63 KB JPG 06/08/23(Thu)18:40:36 No.73606766 >quit p--- >still masturbate without it from time to time >hand feels bad, can't c-- >have some condoms left over from a better time >blow up a condom >looks kinda like a c--- with just enough air inside it >start rubbing it up and down my shaft >feelsgoodman.jpg >imagine I'm frotting with a cute femboy >coom buckets >try again after a few days >fill it with water this time >it's now bigger, firmer, warmer and has balls >coom hard again This is the gayest s--- I've ever done but I liked it I'm homophobic and heterosexual irl btw

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Anon discovers trap music | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/07/16(Tue) 18:16:04 No.688397645 >>688397923 >>688397975 >>688398243 OC incoming >be me >hip hop eurofag >at friends house >friend puts on a track i didnt know >daaaaamn >soundsgoodman.jpg >ask him what style this is >tells me its called "Trap" >shitscashman.wmv >go home >Google "Trap" >land here >mfw >you sick f------

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Anon works in an office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: qLK6j/uK HR and staff at my job know I'(...) 06/08/23(Thu)22:17:28 No.429910093 >be me >corporate cushy job, woke liberals working there with bluepilled normies >we have a harassment training that's mandatory corporate b------- >jewess in hr there taking notes >jewish lawyers come from a bigger city 2 hours away to give this dumb training >"so employees, lets look an a hypothetical. What do we do if there is an employee that likes talking about WW2 a lot and has swastika pictures in their cubicle?" >everyone looks at me 56 KB PNG

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Genius anon manipulates us all | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 experiments.png 1.39 MB PNG Settings Mobile Home >Be me, self aware greentext writer with masters in neuroscience. >Know r/greentext users are lurking everywhere. >Write the most degenerate things in greentext, and these deranged and schizophrenic people come like lambs to the slaughter. >The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference farthing's merely because they are familiar with them. >Slowly morphing them into worse people one story at a time, making them more familiar with terrible acts and ideas. >When the participants are repeatedly exposed to my ideas, there is activation in the parts of the brain that correspond with self-identity, and they begin to internalize the lessons from my greentext. >Soon there will be armies of greentext readers with severe psychological problems acting out in their own lives and relationships. I'm the hottest 18 year old on OnlyFans.

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The guardians of democray are alarmed | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_2023-06-08_11-59-13.png (315 KB, 549x692) A * HISTORY * SMH Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Not just online any more: dangerous movements like the "freedom convoy" are fueled by conspiracy theories, and when those theories are correct, it legitimizes them. Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Anonymous (ID: mqfwy0+5) 06/08/23(Thu)13:41:44 No.429887105 ► >>429888559 >>429888959 >>429889701 >>429891356 >>429893311 >>429893382 >>429893621 >>429893677 >>429894019 >>429894141 >>429894451 >>429894623 >>429894880 >>429895157 >>429896355 >>429896412 >>429896689 >>429897126 >>429897683 >>429897769 >>429897968 >>429898620 >More recently, the lab leak theory regarding the origins of the COVID-19 pandemic has yet again sparked totally unnuanced "conspiracy theorists were right" discourse. While initially the lab leak theory was clamped down on for being a dangerous conspiracy theory, the hypothesis has more or less by random chance been the one to recently gain traction in expert opinions. >And while the true origins of the virus remain unclear, the fact that a modern conspiracy theory could potentially hold elements of truth has raised alarm bells among guardians of democracy like journalists and experts. https://afru.com/conspiracy-theory-right-experts-warn-dangerous/ Apologize. Now. >> Anonymous (ID: YCcKyKtd) 06/08/23(Thu)13:55:40 No.429888559 >>429888850 >>429890587 >>429891059 >>429897533 >>429887105 (OP) >YOU WERE ACCIDENTALLY RIGHT Imagine not having access to your ancestral memory and the global consciousness. >> Anonymous (ID: bnuXYaEk) 06/08/23(Thu)13:58:16 No.429888850 ► >>429888559 They never will. They have NO SOULS! ☐ Anonymous (ID: Lj9qLbn2) 06/08/23 (Thu)13:59:17 No.429888959 >>429887105 (OP) >guardians of democracy like journalists lol, what k--- wrote this one?

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Anon is on the fence about hairy girls | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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Anon hates being alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)12:40:46 No.73299617 >huge house party down the street I just want to be there, but I'm here alone on Friday night. I don't hate normies, really. I'm just mad at myself for not being one.

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Anon has a burning question | /r/Greentext

1.8 MB PNG Am I wrong to be happy about this? >be me, air quality expert living in NYC >my friends and family always made fun of me for choosing this dumb career analyzing air quality and going into tons of debt for school >giant wildfires in Quebec bring tons of smoke to NYC for the first time. >everyone is freaking the f--- out, acting like this is the apocalypse and the end of the world, totally f------ hysterical 24/7. >all of my friends are asking me about how to improve air quality in their little NYC apartments. Hundreds of texts per day from people I haven't heard from in years. >newspapers and TV news contact me to discuss air quality >my company is securing 3 new major multimillion dollar contracts that never would have happened if these fires didn't happen >everyone everywhere I go knows that I'm the air quality guy to talk to because they remember making fun of me >everyone is apologizing for not taking my career seriously >smoking hot girls are talking to me about AIR QUALITY, my favorite topic, all the time How do I keep these good times rolling?

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Anon is banned from watching Cartoon Network | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO jack black.jpg, 13KiB, 563x544 Anonymous Mon 08 May 2023 01:18:30 No.137112947 Report >>137111051 >Be a little s--- before middleschool >Parents would let me watch adult swim as long as I didn't let it influence my actions (basically no delinquent s--- like beating people up or setting things on fire) >Spending the summer at my Grandma's place to see extended family >Still a kid so I don't realize my grandma has never seen an adult cartoon before >Metalocalypse comes on >It's the episode of the pet neutering concert >Scene where the dude falls into a machine and gets his balls ripped off begins to play >Grandma lets out a scream that matches a person's reaction to 2 girls 1 cup >She takes the remote and turns the channel >Banned from watching Cartoon Network at her house the next day because she remembered the channel number >When I ask why I can't watch Cartoon Network she basically says "I don't want to see cartoons of people getting their balls ripped off" My younger self's retardation never fails to make me cringe but sometimes it makes me laugh like a bastard

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Anon meets the Great Philosopher | /r/Greentext

File: confucius.jpg (193 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:31:18 No.15164157 >Upon the road, Anon meets the Great Philosopher >"Wise teacher," says Anon >"How can I live a life worth living?" >The Great Philosopher points to the trees by the roads >"Do you see these trees anon?" >"Yes wise teacher" 需 >"Do you see how their leaves grow? Each a unique divine gift yet all contribute to the whole?" >"Yes wise teacher" >"Do you see how their branches extend to heaven?" >"Yes wise teacher" >The Great philosopher smiled at Anon and pushed him aside >"It is time for you to make like a tree and leaf" Anon was Enlightened

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Greentext Stories - Something serious is happening | /r/Greentext

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283 KB JPG >UFO sightings have recently increased over 500% >Dept of Defense all of a sudden streamrolling through alien/ufo disclosure >10 ft alien spotted in a mexican's backyard in vegas >Intel community leaders had a meeting at Wright Patterson AFB, rumored to be the location of several captured UFOs >"Five Eyes" UFO briefing (thanks to retarded Canadians for leaking) >Gang of 8 emergency briefing in Senate SCIF >Congress announced their own briefing >Congress will not vote for the rest of the week >NASA says we need to prepare for total internet blackout that will last months Im not saying its happening but its happening guys. This could be the biggest happening of all happenings. I seriously think Earth is being invaded by aliens.

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