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: Anonymous FACT 118 KB JPG 1 Reply 06/09/23(Fri)11:21:09 No.73609411 if god didn't want me jacking off he wouldn't have made it feel so good View Thread 06/09/23(Fri)11:22:32 No.73609417 : Anonymous your arms reach exactly to crotch level for a reason

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon had a good day | /r/Greentext

>be me, living downtown in a big Canadian city >walk to the grocer today >give perfunctory nod to new brown neighbor that had to be confronted 6 times in as many months about using my driveway as his own property >used to be a quiet chinese family, now it's jamaican looking nogs speaking an unrecognizable language with screeching children and endless visitors >get to the main avenue 730 KB JPG >hassled by panhandlers at every block >bus shacks completely colonized by homeless and packed with heaps of junk >decide to take the backlane >used needles anywhere there's a curb to sit on >looking at a recently burned out vehicle >see my garbage bin that was stolen a couple years ago with my address partially scrubbed off >ponder if its even worth taking back my property. Last time I yelled at vandals smashing car windows, they came back and smashed my window. >exit lane, walking down sidewalk >have to cross the road cause a squaw woman in a tracksuit dropped her pants and started s------- on the boulevard just ahead of me Today was a good day. I didn't step in any feces. Didn't get attacked by stray dogs. And no one tried to mug me.

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Something serious is happening | /r/Greentext

283 KB JPG >UFO sightings have recently increased over 500% >Dept of Defense all of a sudden streamrolling through alien/ufo disclosure >10 ft alien spotted in a mexican's backyard in vegas >Intel community leaders had a meeting at Wright Patterson AFB, rumored to be the location of several captured UFOs >"Five Eyes" UFO briefing (thanks to retarded Canadians for leaking) >Gang of 8 emergency briefing in Senate SCIF >Congress announced their own briefing >Congress will not vote for the rest of the week >NASA says we need to prepare for total internet blackout that will last months Im not saying its happening but its happening guys. This could be the biggest happening of all happenings. I seriously think Earth is being invaded by aliens.

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One swallow does not a summer make | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.43 MB PNG 2 Replies 01/09/23 (Mon)13:21:00 No.71756855 >>71756997 # >Mom walked in on me with my practice gf (male) Anonymous >>71756855 (OP) # Can we see your practice gf? View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)13:25:05 No.71756888 : Anonymous >>71756888 # No, his wet boipussy is only for me. 01/09/23 (Mon)13:37:27 No.71756997

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Anons have an intelligent conversation about the English language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon) 09:31:09 No.172717319 >not to mention >mentions it 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 367 KB PNG : Anonymous 8 KB PNG : Anonymous 275 KB PNG 10/24/22(Mon)09:34:33 No.172717375 >needless to say >says it 10/24/22(Mon)09:35:46 No.172717399 >not to be racist but >is racist 10/24/22(Mon)09:36:11 No.172717404 >thought >He didn't think

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Anon Likes Femboys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Nofap does things to you ON ABOVE 63 KB JPG 06/08/23(Thu)18:40:36 No.73606766 >quit p--- >still masturbate without it from time to time >hand feels bad, can't c-- >have some condoms left over from a better time >blow up a condom >looks kinda like a c--- with just enough air inside it >start rubbing it up and down my shaft >feelsgoodman.jpg >imagine I'm frotting with a cute femboy >coom buckets >try again after a few days >fill it with water this time >it's now bigger, firmer, warmer and has balls >coom hard again This is the gayest s--- I've ever done but I liked it I'm homophobic and heterosexual irl btw

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Anon discovers trap music | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/07/16(Tue) 18:16:04 No.688397645 >>688397923 >>688397975 >>688398243 OC incoming >be me >hip hop eurofag >at friends house >friend puts on a track i didnt know >daaaaamn >soundsgoodman.jpg >ask him what style this is >tells me its called "Trap" >shitscashman.wmv >go home >Google "Trap" >land here >mfw >you sick f------

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Anon works in an office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: qLK6j/uK HR and staff at my job know I'(...) 06/08/23(Thu)22:17:28 No.429910093 >be me >corporate cushy job, woke liberals working there with bluepilled normies >we have a harassment training that's mandatory corporate b------- >jewess in hr there taking notes >jewish lawyers come from a bigger city 2 hours away to give this dumb training >"so employees, lets look an a hypothetical. What do we do if there is an employee that likes talking about WW2 a lot and has swastika pictures in their cubicle?" >everyone looks at me 56 KB PNG

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Genius anon manipulates us all | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 experiments.png 1.39 MB PNG Settings Mobile Home >Be me, self aware greentext writer with masters in neuroscience. >Know r/greentext users are lurking everywhere. >Write the most degenerate things in greentext, and these deranged and schizophrenic people come like lambs to the slaughter. >The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference farthing's merely because they are familiar with them. >Slowly morphing them into worse people one story at a time, making them more familiar with terrible acts and ideas. >When the participants are repeatedly exposed to my ideas, there is activation in the parts of the brain that correspond with self-identity, and they begin to internalize the lessons from my greentext. >Soon there will be armies of greentext readers with severe psychological problems acting out in their own lives and relationships. I'm the hottest 18 year old on OnlyFans.

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The guardians of democray are alarmed | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_2023-06-08_11-59-13.png (315 KB, 549x692) A * HISTORY * SMH Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Not just online any more: dangerous movements like the "freedom convoy" are fueled by conspiracy theories, and when those theories are correct, it legitimizes them. Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Anonymous (ID: mqfwy0+5) 06/08/23(Thu)13:41:44 No.429887105 ► >>429888559 >>429888959 >>429889701 >>429891356 >>429893311 >>429893382 >>429893621 >>429893677 >>429894019 >>429894141 >>429894451 >>429894623 >>429894880 >>429895157 >>429896355 >>429896412 >>429896689 >>429897126 >>429897683 >>429897769 >>429897968 >>429898620 >More recently, the lab leak theory regarding the origins of the COVID-19 pandemic has yet again sparked totally unnuanced "conspiracy theorists were right" discourse. While initially the lab leak theory was clamped down on for being a dangerous conspiracy theory, the hypothesis has more or less by random chance been the one to recently gain traction in expert opinions. >And while the true origins of the virus remain unclear, the fact that a modern conspiracy theory could potentially hold elements of truth has raised alarm bells among guardians of democracy like journalists and experts. https://afru.com/conspiracy-theory-right-experts-warn-dangerous/ Apologize. Now. >> Anonymous (ID: YCcKyKtd) 06/08/23(Thu)13:55:40 No.429888559 >>429888850 >>429890587 >>429891059 >>429897533 >>429887105 (OP) >YOU WERE ACCIDENTALLY RIGHT Imagine not having access to your ancestral memory and the global consciousness. >> Anonymous (ID: bnuXYaEk) 06/08/23(Thu)13:58:16 No.429888850 ► >>429888559 They never will. They have NO SOULS! ☐ Anonymous (ID: Lj9qLbn2) 06/08/23 (Thu)13:59:17 No.429888959 >>429887105 (OP) >guardians of democracy like journalists lol, what k--- wrote this one?

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Anon is on the fence about hairy girls | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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Anon hates being alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)12:40:46 No.73299617 >huge house party down the street I just want to be there, but I'm here alone on Friday night. I don't hate normies, really. I'm just mad at myself for not being one.

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Anon has a burning question | /r/Greentext

1.8 MB PNG Am I wrong to be happy about this? >be me, air quality expert living in NYC >my friends and family always made fun of me for choosing this dumb career analyzing air quality and going into tons of debt for school >giant wildfires in Quebec bring tons of smoke to NYC for the first time. >everyone is freaking the f--- out, acting like this is the apocalypse and the end of the world, totally f------ hysterical 24/7. >all of my friends are asking me about how to improve air quality in their little NYC apartments. Hundreds of texts per day from people I haven't heard from in years. >newspapers and TV news contact me to discuss air quality >my company is securing 3 new major multimillion dollar contracts that never would have happened if these fires didn't happen >everyone everywhere I go knows that I'm the air quality guy to talk to because they remember making fun of me >everyone is apologizing for not taking my career seriously >smoking hot girls are talking to me about AIR QUALITY, my favorite topic, all the time How do I keep these good times rolling?

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a thought. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous FACT 118 KB JPG 1 Reply 06/09/23(Fri)11:21:09 No.73609411 if god didn't want me jacking off he wouldn't have made it feel so good View Thread 06/09/23(Fri)11:22:32 No.73609417 : Anonymous your arms reach exactly to crotch level for a reason

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