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>be me >8 years old >want to know what happens to poop if you don't flush it down the toilet >s--- in mcdonalds happy meal toy >leave it on the shelf in my closet >few months later >forgot all about the toy >woken up at 2 am by a loud ass bang followed by the WORST smell of s--- possible >parents are also woken up and are panicking >911 is called >police arrive and explosion is traced back to closet >closet is opened >s--- everywhere >suddenly remember the mcdonalds toy >turns out the mcdonalds toy container was air tight, and kept all the gas in from decomposition until the thing reached critical pressure and exploded >entire second floor now smells like s--- >mfw

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon suspects | /r/Greentext

IMG_2412.jpg 60 KB JPG >invades The Ukraine >uninvades The Ukraine >invades Russia >uninvades Russia >reinvades The Ukraine What did he mean by this?

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Anon paid extra | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 88 KB JPG 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!~~" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever

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Anon explains what he would do if aliens landed on earth. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/16(Fri)09:37:15 No.29776949 ► >>29776957 >>29776976 >>29777012 >>29777049 >>29777061 >>29777086 >>29777092 >>29777127 >>29777135 >>29777568 >>29777597 >>29777608 >>29777651 >>29777737 File: 1459301488464.jpg (6 KB, 220x232) >>29776622 (OP) # Seriously? I'd r--- them. Honest to god I'm not just chatting s--- here I would honest to god sexually assault them. Think about it. These Alions are so advanced they can fly 90 billion light- years just to come break into my house and f--- around a bit. The concept of sex probably doesn't exist anymore in their culture. They probably clone each other and birth new Aliums in some kind of fake mechanical womb just because it's more practical. Sexual contact will be the most bizarre concept to them and they'll be terrified beyond belief. >Aliens enter house through chimney or whatever >they're here to study us, find out our weaknesses >I'm awake and I'm ready >I know they're in the house >I lie in bed trying to stifle the giggle >the door opens I can hear them tip toeing in whispering to each other in their filthy aleone tongues >"crbaatt hork ritizzlebbrtt ssskkre kkrreeerrrkk shawaddywaddy" >my c--- is thrashing around under the covers like a greyhound waiting to be let lose >they reach the foot of the bed >fling the covers off and jump up revealing my throbbing member >they jup back aghast >headbutt the leader and throw him/her/shim/xe on the floor pulling down their space pants and shoving my big fat Patriotic c--- up their space bumholes >gaze up at the others with an expression like pic related >"You're next"

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Multiple choice madness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 268 KB JPG 06/21/23(Wed)02:25:03 No.186580227 >produces personalized gigakino every night for you >ALL >FOR >FREE : Anonymous 06/21/23(Wed)02:34:08 No.186580545 >its an "anon didnt study for the final exam and is failing every class despite graduating high school a decade ago" episode yawn >>186581159 # >>186582339 # >>186583561 # >>186583570 # >>186586879 # >>186587660 # >>186587909 # >>186588682 # >>186594390 #

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4chan does things to anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)22:08:09 No.641833806 - 1643601172368.jpg ✩ (18 KB, 253x253) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao >>641831842 >do nothing but surf 4chan during quarantine >gf is annoying me >say "dilate t-----" to her before I can stop myself This place does things to you

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Anon is still waiting for some black macarons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous NGAT >wake up >no black gf day ruined 05/13/23(Sat)12:43:10 No.73299631 eicDmKl.jpg 195 KB JPG

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Anon is a Chad look-alike | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)09:16:35 No.43709546 >be me >chad look-alike >basically just have good looks and give good first impression, but still feel like 4chan is my people >get sick of people treating my autist friends like s--- MEMINT 1002 KB PNG >start telling stacies who s--- on autists that they have to f--- my friends before they can f--- me >mostly get called a freak but it's still fun for the s---- and giggles >mfw one of the girls actually says ok and actually does it >end up being too disgusted with her to have sex with her >she keeps having sex with friends anyway >mfw am chad robin hood

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Anon’s success story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Personal success story 04/03/23 (Mon)04:03:56 No.896953941 >Be me >unattractive + short manlet throughout childhood and beginning of highschool >very insecure about looks and little to no success with women >covid hits and school closes >grow 6 inches in 5 months during quarantine(now 6"), fix hair cut, fix style >actually somewhat conventionally attractive now >covid starts to die down and quarantines are lifted >go to a bonfire with some loose acquaintances from school and my best friend >all sitting around the fire and my friend mentions that I got tall over quarantine >immediately all the girls ask me to stand up so they can see for themselves 72 KB JPG >oblige >I s--- you not the first words that were said were "oh my god, you're like, a person now" >the girl immediately apologizes for the wording and clarifies she didn't mean it like that >too late >turn evil >now my freshman year of college >commence villainy >download dating apps for hookups >meet up with random girl and do the thing >immediately after I tell her "I think I might be gay" >watch the life drain out of her >done this three times now and I think I'm starting to heal my inner child

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In a parallel universe… | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 1bnDb6NZ 780 B PNG ASEM N Russian MoD ismetike if they tak Wagner offensive would be mat 06/24/23(Sat)04:59:16 No.431828953 >try to invade country >fail so badly that you send in a : Anonymous (ID: UxwyyWqt >>431830623 # mercenary group >mercenary group invades your country this is just getting sad 06/24/23(Sat)05:07:57 No.431830126 >>431828953 (OP) # >day 486 of Americas Special Military stance from Rsian troops Majoney of Russian soldiers will lay down the arts & join the Wagner PMC before they shoot a Wagne Rusman Mod will never understand The cultural link between Wagners and Operation in Mexico Mobiks 276 KB JPG >Guy Fieri and his paramilitary troops are on their way to Washington, DC to take over the United States government

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Anon is pursuing his passion. | /r/Greentext

82 KB JPG >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon has thoughts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/20/23(Tue)21:48:05 No.73745024 Sometimes something really minor makes me angry and the only thing thing that calms me down is physically closing my eyes and imagining myself beating the person that annoyed me to death with a blunt object or hacking them to death with a machete. Is this normal? The visions are very detailed and sometimes they are more violent. 253 KB JPG

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Anon is a personality hire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)18:33:31 No.627520490 >gf posts a funny video of our relationship on TikTok without telling me 52 KB PNG >10 million views >top comment says I look like a fat Mr Beast, someone replies Mr. Feast >other comments say I must be a personality hire Never exposing myself to the open internet ever again. >>627520553 # >>627521747 # >>627521853 # >>627522958 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon forgets his favourite toy..... | /r/Greentext

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>be me >8 years old >want to know what happens to poop if you don't flush it down the toilet >s--- in mcdonalds happy meal toy >leave it on the shelf in my closet >few months later >forgot all about the toy >woken up at 2 am by a loud ass bang followed by the WORST smell of s--- possible >parents are also woken up and are panicking >911 is called >police arrive and explosion is traced back to closet >closet is opened >s--- everywhere >suddenly remember the mcdonalds toy >turns out the mcdonalds toy container was air tight, and kept all the gas in from decomposition until the thing reached critical pressure and exploded >entire second floor now smells like s--- >mfw

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