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#1, No. 94294759 1 hour ago 1687777350199 PNG 952x954 249.4 kB >SISTER: Mom, my PC is broken, Anon deleted the desktop again... >MOM: Is that true dear? We'll get that sorted out at Best Buy. >2 hours later... >PC REPAIR MAN: Looks like someone installed a virus called Linux on this computer... no worries, we can install a copy of Windows for free, the service charge will be only $39.99 >MOM: Sounds good, I better give Anon a whooping for installing viruses Linak or whatever on the computer. >1 hour later... >MOM: So Anon, why did you install viruses on your sister's PC? K aty >ANON: Mom you don't get it, its an operating system called Arch Linux, it runs faster and bet- >MOM: ANON. Answer me. The Best Buy computer guy told me that you installed a virus called LINAK on your sister's PC. Why did you install a virus? Are you trying to do hacking? You'll get the FBI on us Anon! >ANON: But Mom, it's just a different operat- >MOM: ANON you are banned from using the computer for the next 3 months. No more hacking and no more Linak viruses. Or we'll send you off to get adopted. >SISTER: Told you so Anon. At least the Best buy computer guy was able to fix it. Mom you better get Anon to pay the $40 service fee as well. >ANON: No f--- you! You can't make me pay for just upgrading your operating system! >MOM: No swearing! Anon you are to go outside and sweep the yard until dinner. You can look forward to 2 plates of broccoli tonight. >ANON: FAK YOU MOM! I JUST WANTED TO COMPILE SOFTWEARE. >SISTER: Mom Anon is scaring me with his hacking speak! >MOM: Alright Anon that's enough. We're bringing you to the orphanage. Enough with this hacking stuff, we don't want the FBI breaking down our doors. >MOM drives ANON to the orphanage. >MOM: Alright, we're bringing our troubled son ANON here to get adopted. >RECEPTIONIST: Alright, just sign these forms and we can find your son a loving and caring family. >ANON: Mom I can't believe you're doing this. >RECEPTIONIST: Be quiet kid, we'll get you in a loving home very soon. 5 replies # 2, No. 94294766 1 hour ago >>94294759 (OP) >MOM signs forms and drives away. >10 minutes later... >RECEPTIONIST: Congrats uh... *looks at papers* Anon, we've found you a new home! Let me introduce you to Mr. STALLMAN. >STALLMAN: Hey kid, want some FREE software? >ANON: Eww you smell so bad! >STALLMAN: Don't worry kiddo that's just my foot fungus. Anyway let me take you in my van to show you some FREE software. >ANON: I love free software! >ANON and STALLMAN enter the back of the van and close the doors. >STALLMAN starts rummaging in his pockets. > >ANON: What are you doing!?!?!? >STALLMAN: Don't worry, I'm just taking out the USB that contains the FREE software. >STALLMAN retrieves a USB from inside his underwear and starts taking off his shoes. Green fumes rise from his bare feet. > >ANON: Eww that smell is so bad! What the hell is that? >STALLMAN: Dont worry my friend that is just my free and libre foot fungus. >ANON: Let me out of here! It smells like s---! >STALLMAN: No, you need to inhale the smells of freedom. >STALLMAN takes the USB and starts shoving toe cheese and foot fungus into the USB port. >ANON bangs on the doors of the van, but they are locked. >Camera pans to the outside of the van, and screams can be heard. >3 minutes later... >The screaming dies down and STALLMAN opens the doors. >The dead body of ANON falls out of the van. >The camera pans to the side of the van, revealing a Nazi swastika, then pans back to STALLMAN. >STALLMAN morphs into HITLER. >HITLER: And that, my friends, is how you gas the Jews! >HITLER bows deeply and the curtains close. >AUDIENCE may now applause. >~ FIN ~ 2 replies 2 #3, No. 94294834 1 hour ago 2021 >>94294759 (OP) Wow! I commend your excellent writing skills and your impeccable sense of humor. I rate this short story a 10 out of 10 for Style, Substance and Satisfaction. You have won the annual 4chan Creative Writing competition and you will receive your prize money of $0. 1 reply

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1080px x 5313px)

File size: 503 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Time To Make The Donuts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITIME ΤΟΥ MAKE THE DONUTS 48 KB JPG 06/15/23(Thu)21:52:03 No.73689793 >be me, 26, get job at Dunkin Donuts >kid starts a few days after me, 17, short dude, kind of a dark personality, socially awkward >Boss says "Time to make the donuts!" everyday, apparently referencing some old commercial >One day Karen comes in and is being Karen >Kid flips out and starts throwing donuts and coffee drinks everywhere while shouting "Time to make the donuts!" while holding back tears >He calms down, sees what he has done, bolts out the door >Never hear from him again >>73689836 # : Anonymous >That kids name? Joe Biden. 06/15/23(Thu)21:55:07 No.73689815

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(Fem)anon is desperate for some dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)13:04:21 No.73299726 1683923186140664.jpg 48 KB JPG >alone on a weekend yet again

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Anon needs to touch photosynthetic-based matter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB PNG 2 Replies 06/27/23(Tue) 19:37:36 No.73818675 >Clearly your problems with women are based on your skin contact with common plant life. If you just touch photosynthetic- based matter, you'd stop being a societal reject. I should know, the funko pop box said so. View Thread : Anonymous >>73818675 (OP) # Funko pop owning f------ need to touch grass just as much as you do 06/27/23(Tue)20:11:21 No.73818931 : Anonymous 06/27/23(Tue)20:12:53 No.73818942 >>73818675 (OP) # >Clearly your problems with women are based Yes they are thank you

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Anon spills coke. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 29 KB JPG 06/27/23(Tue)16:35:34 No.73818884 >Spill coke on $1000 dollar laptop >It's broken >Start panicking over how much repairs will cost >Remember I'm 6'2 and that there are manlets out there who'd spend 10k to be my height >Feel better

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You have anxiety ? Don't. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 853 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)08:48:23 No.72924421 >Have social anxiety >Have a doctor appointment >Been dreading it the whole week >Day finally comes >Have a 10 minutes talk with the doc and it's over >I've spent the last 3 days in a state of apprehension for no f------ reason I hate this s--- so much.

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Anon relized what's league of legends is about........ | /r/Greentext

>player (who quit) brings up forced 50% >some riot shill and/or addict gets on his high horse with a "muh math" argument applied... for eomm >some iron 6 retard uses this opportunity to scapegoat his 35%wr and to attack the riot shill >riot shill/addict samefags or more f------ come to aid LEAGUE OF LEGENDS 255 KB JPG >more enraged bronzies and iron players come out of the woodwork

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Anon's dad wanted him to experience..... | /r/Greentext

06/23/23(Fri)14:08:49 No.901409799 I was born with a disease that I wasn't expected to make it past my teens with, so when I was 15 my dad invited one of his booty-calls over and called me into the room where he took my hand and touched her p---- with it. She then blew me while he f----- her doggy for 20 sec. By his logic he claims he "wanted me to experience sex" in case I didn't make it etc. : Anonymous 135 KB JPG Looking back it was extremely f----- up and I lost respect for him. Still live with him to this day due to finances.

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Anon eats a cookie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 06/27/23(Tue)10:17:51 No.35141156 >My heart started beating fast >calmed myself with meditation >every time I closed my eyes I could see the entire room in bird perspective (from up) >I saw myself and everyone in infinite detail (i could zoom in and see every detail) >be me >at a party >eat my first cookie >its apparently really strong >hours pass >nothing happens >everyone is asleep >start trippin >I start seeing random letters that have both capital and small variation of themselves >I can zoom them in infinitely too >mfw : Anonymous Was I astral projecting? W-- happened and why from cookies? 724 KB PNG 06/27/23(Tue)10:24:29 No.35141179

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.99 MB GIF Just about got into a fight, /fit/. >Just got out of the gym, arms day >I'm riding back on my bike and pass this junkie on his bike >Righto I pull up on the other side >This c--- confronts me "oi i bash pedophiles for a living" >"W-- does have to do with me?" >We are both on the footpath because it's the only way to get across the road >I hear "oi you dropped something" mind you I had my headphones in >"You grabbed your pants when you were riding past that lady" (great he's clearly on meth) > I tell him "f--- off c--- get away from me, you're a f----- d------- for saying that" >I ride off, not entertaining this s---, He follows >I hear "Oi im steve by the way". The c---- introduces himself like we're friends now 06/27/23(Tue)10:41:15 No.71407044 >"I don't give a f--- who you are get away from me you c---" >He keeps following me just staring at me, I keep mouthing off >He's f------ reaching in his junkie bumbag >"Go on, do something" i say >This dirty f--- lines up full golly (spit) in his mouth >He DOESN;T do it (thanks god!!) >And he rides off other direction F---, the second i thought he was gonna spit i legit was gonna crash into him and go to town. F---, that's why junkies don't get bashed more ofter cause they spit crack venom and have AIDS : Anonymous : Anonymous >>71407044 (OP) # But why did you grab your crotch when you walked past the lady That's weird anon >>71407066 # >>71407161 # 115 KB PNG >>71407054 # She was hot lol >>71407111 # >>71407144 # 06/27/23(Tue)10:43:11 No.71407054 06/27/23(Tue)10:44:57 No.71407066

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Doomer Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

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a good boy has seen the error of his ways | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/05/15(Wed)00:31:32 No.21130668 >>21130730 File: rarepepe.png (73 KB, 1229x830) IGHT >Wake up this morning at 3PM >Another bright shinning beautiful day >I let out a small poo poo squirt as I yawn >I check my daily GBP chart >150 GBP, sufficient enough for mummy to take me out to my favorite restaurant >MUMMY TENDIE WENDIE RESTAURANT DAY! >no response >I scream MUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY >I hear the sound of empty adult apple juice bottles being knocked over and footsteps climb up the stairs >mummy staggers into my doorway >y-yes, sweetie? >I chant TENDIES TENDIES CLAIMY JUMPIEE as I bang on my belly like a bongo >mummy lets out a deep sigh and staggers out of the doorway >I go to my playroom and watch a new episode of scooby-doo and await night >night comes >mummy puts on her w---- dress >I put on my barney shirt and big boy shorts >mummy silently cries to herself as we drive to claim jumper, probably she wishes daddy would come back or some stupid s--- like that >we arrive in the parking lot >mummy breaks down in tears >WHAT THE F--- DID I DO TO GET A SON LIKE YOU >I suddenly glare at mummy >What the f--- did you- >She's sobbing uncontrollably >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >IF YOU DO NOT BE QUIET, I WILL MAKE KA-KA >mummy looks at me >i-if I wanted a f-f------ psychopath...I-I'd stay w-with Chad >1-I just w-want s-someone to l-love me >she breaks down even more >suddenly everything around me stop still >I look at myself in the passenger side visor mirror >I am an autist >I look at mummy, she's calming down and ready to leave the car >Mumm-...I mean mom. >She stops dead in her tracks to look at me >W-what did you just call me? >Mom >She is in disbelief >Mom I love you >She gets a gigantic smile and hugs me, I hug her back >we ditch claim jumper and go back home >I stop eating tendies and start to eat healthy foods >I start to lose weight >I start poo-poo'ing in the toilet >I tear down my playroom and sell all of my toys >I get GED, part time job, and go to college >Mom loves me now

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Anon is a sad car........ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >be car 02/03/20(Mon)20:35:17 No.56574031 >my human takes good care of me >He waits for me to warm up in the winter before we drive away >checks my oil and tops it up when it gets low >keeps my tires full of air >puts new parts in when the old ones break >lots of things on me don't work right anymore, but I always get him where he needs to go >I got rusty and my seats got torn up, my battery is tired, my spark plugs are worn, but when he turns the key I always start up for him because I know he cares >when he parks me, I wait loyally for him to get back. >Then one day he parked me far away >when he left, he seemed sad and slow >I waited days, and he didn't come back. I knew this time was different. >He came back with tools, and I was excited. Taking parts off me, like he used to do. >but instead of putting on new ones, he put back old parts, or just took them and left me with pieces missing >kept waiting for him to turn the key but he never did >my battery died >my tires went flat >I can feel the rust spreading >why did you leave me? >didn't I always get you where you needed to go? >wasn't I always there for you? >why did you leave me?

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Greentext Stories - Anon installs LINAK | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

#1, No. 94294759 1 hour ago 1687777350199 PNG 952x954 249.4 kB >SISTER: Mom, my PC is broken, Anon deleted the desktop again... >MOM: Is that true dear? We'll get that sorted out at Best Buy. >2 hours later... >PC REPAIR MAN: Looks like someone installed a virus called Linux on this computer... no worries, we can install a copy of Windows for free, the service charge will be only $39.99 >MOM: Sounds good, I better give Anon a whooping for installing viruses Linak or whatever on the computer. >1 hour later... >MOM: So Anon, why did you install viruses on your sister's PC? K aty >ANON: Mom you don't get it, its an operating system called Arch Linux, it runs faster and bet- >MOM: ANON. Answer me. The Best Buy computer guy told me that you installed a virus called LINAK on your sister's PC. Why did you install a virus? Are you trying to do hacking? You'll get the FBI on us Anon! >ANON: But Mom, it's just a different operat- >MOM: ANON you are banned from using the computer for the next 3 months. No more hacking and no more Linak viruses. Or we'll send you off to get adopted. >SISTER: Told you so Anon. At least the Best buy computer guy was able to fix it. Mom you better get Anon to pay the $40 service fee as well. >ANON: No f--- you! You can't make me pay for just upgrading your operating system! >MOM: No swearing! Anon you are to go outside and sweep the yard until dinner. You can look forward to 2 plates of broccoli tonight. >ANON: FAK YOU MOM! I JUST WANTED TO COMPILE SOFTWEARE. >SISTER: Mom Anon is scaring me with his hacking speak! >MOM: Alright Anon that's enough. We're bringing you to the orphanage. Enough with this hacking stuff, we don't want the FBI breaking down our doors. >MOM drives ANON to the orphanage. >MOM: Alright, we're bringing our troubled son ANON here to get adopted. >RECEPTIONIST: Alright, just sign these forms and we can find your son a loving and caring family. >ANON: Mom I can't believe you're doing this. >RECEPTIONIST: Be quiet kid, we'll get you in a loving home very soon. 5 replies # 2, No. 94294766 1 hour ago >>94294759 (OP) >MOM signs forms and drives away. >10 minutes later... >RECEPTIONIST: Congrats uh... *looks at papers* Anon, we've found you a new home! Let me introduce you to Mr. STALLMAN. >STALLMAN: Hey kid, want some FREE software? >ANON: Eww you smell so bad! >STALLMAN: Don't worry kiddo that's just my foot fungus. Anyway let me take you in my van to show you some FREE software. >ANON: I love free software! >ANON and STALLMAN enter the back of the van and close the doors. >STALLMAN starts rummaging in his pockets. > >ANON: What are you doing!?!?!? >STALLMAN: Don't worry, I'm just taking out the USB that contains the FREE software. >STALLMAN retrieves a USB from inside his underwear and starts taking off his shoes. Green fumes rise from his bare feet. > >ANON: Eww that smell is so bad! What the hell is that? >STALLMAN: Dont worry my friend that is just my free and libre foot fungus. >ANON: Let me out of here! It smells like s---! >STALLMAN: No, you need to inhale the smells of freedom. >STALLMAN takes the USB and starts shoving toe cheese and foot fungus into the USB port. >ANON bangs on the doors of the van, but they are locked. >Camera pans to the outside of the van, and screams can be heard. >3 minutes later... >The screaming dies down and STALLMAN opens the doors. >The dead body of ANON falls out of the van. >The camera pans to the side of the van, revealing a Nazi swastika, then pans back to STALLMAN. >STALLMAN morphs into HITLER. >HITLER: And that, my friends, is how you gas the Jews! >HITLER bows deeply and the curtains close. >AUDIENCE may now applause. >~ FIN ~ 2 replies 2 #3, No. 94294834 1 hour ago 2021 >>94294759 (OP) Wow! I commend your excellent writing skills and your impeccable sense of humor. I rate this short story a 10 out of 10 for Style, Substance and Satisfaction. You have won the annual 4chan Creative Writing competition and you will receive your prize money of $0. 1 reply

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