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Rogue: Oh, am I in range of the fireball? I'll just use my uncan- DM: It's not an attack, roll a dex save!

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dnd /r/dndmemes

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COLOUR hey is the next session ready

AHG!! GOBBLINS! AAA!! Do You MEAN FOBLINS I'M BEING GOBBLED! AAAAAAA!! I GOT THIS DONT YOU F------ DARE

IT TOOK ME DOZENS OF SESSIONS OVER SEVERAL YEARS TO RULE A CITY BY THE END OF THE CAMPAIGN. YOU JUST ROLLED A 20 AND YOUR DM GAVE YOU A CITY. WE ARE NOT THE SAME. imgflip.com

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Rogue: And with my sneak attack, I jam my dagger between the troll's fourth and fifth ribs, twist to make it stick in there, and leave it in! And that's... 27 damage! DM: Excessive, but that explains the damage. The troll roars, and shifts his attention to this new source of pain that happened behind him. But it is... the artificer's initiative next! Rogue: OOH! Real quick! Remember how I said that, tip to pommel, that dagger was one solid piece of dwarven steel? DM: Yyyyeeees?? Rogue: *to the artificer* Francis? Artificer: I'd like to cast "Heat Metal" on his dagger. DM:

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SpellJammer time out. | /r/dndmemes

TheScowl117 12:07 AM The party waiting in suspended animation for us to try and figure out our irl s--- flip.com

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I see you. | /r/dndmemes

DM: You are walking through the forest when you see... everyone roll perception. *party rolls* DM: *to bard, cleric, and fighter* You all see a deer. Ranger: What do I see? DM: Check your phone. Ranger: *eyes widen* Is this a nature or arcana check?

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He was in fact, very sure | /r/dndmemes

ANN, may m DM saying "Are you sure you want to do that?" You ain't got the nerve. Player that wants to make a new character Try me.

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*the Party is telling stories around the campfire Elvish rogue: well fighter, we don't need to hear your backstory. You are human and- Human Fighter: not basic. Elvish rogue: really, then tell us your "unique" backstory. Human Fighter: I was born before dragons could talk and before elves understood what their magic really was. The years were counted differently back then so I could not tell you exactly when. When I was 21 years old I joined general Shii's forty third brigade. I became lieutenant and led my soldiers so far north that I started to go south, back when there was no ice to stop you, I fought the alfar, the ancestors of dwarves and halflings. The last things I remember were the cryocannons and the confusion of the attack, I remember sitting down and tuning everything out as the ice shards piled around me, and there I slipped away... Elvish rogue: that's horseshit! how did you survive. Human fighter: I came from the age when one's power came from the machines they commanded, as a ranking officer I was fitted with a data drive in my brain and a high tech life support system that can let me hibernate indefinitely, I slept for a thousands of years I'm guessing, because when I came to, an earthquake had cracked the ice. I wandered, looking for my comrades, or the enemy, or anybody, when I saw civilization, it was so different to me. People spoke weird languages, monsters roamed the earth, and men could do magic. Elvish rogue: you're just like the rest of 'em >Race: Human Varient >Sex: Male: >Class: Fighter It's gaming time.

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Artificer: *bad German accent they've been using all campaign* You know vee haf used zee raise dead schpell on zee warforged? DM: Yes? Artificer: Vell, vee haf bin tooking, unt I vood like to mahk eine kleine adjustment to his exterior. DM: Which is? Warforged: I want a cannon mounted to my shoulder. DM: WHAT?!? Artificer: Obvioosly, vee vood need to be makink zee ammo, so he couldn't use it all zee time, but...ja? DM: I mean... I suppose...? Warforged: *now also using a bad German accent* ICH BIN EIN NECROPANZER!!! DM: PLANEE BOURNAL WINS!

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Dungeons and Dragons - Ok, "rolls dice"... it's a 3... for a total of 24. | /r/dndmemes

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Rogue: Oh, am I in range of the fireball? I'll just use my uncan- DM: It's not an attack, roll a dex save!

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