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98 KB JPG >used to really enjoy hot sauce >saw a local meetup for hot sauce enthusiasts >went along, but thought i'd bring a nice gift for everyone >made a special batch of hot sauce, as hot as I could >make a special handcrafted wooden container for the bottle to go in >it is in the shape of an ambulance >carved the words 'HOT SAUCE WARD' onto the wooden ambulance with the hot sauce bottle inside >i thought the sauce i made was unbearably hot >inside the wooden ambulance with a hand knitted cotton doll of myself, wearing a little T-Shirt that said 'Habanero Harold' (my name is harold) >took the gift to the meetup and presented it >the 'ring leader' kind of guy who the other hot saucers obviously worship opens the ambulance, takes the hot sauce out >has a sip >starts laughing >literally glugs like 1/3rd of the bottle >tells me it isn't hot at all, and all the other hot saucers laugh at me >i get upset, and apologise for bothering them and leave >few days later get a knock at my door >open it >the ambulance is sitting on the floor >they have carved the words 'MILD FOOD EMERGENCY UNIT' over the words 'hot sauce ward' >tfw don't like hot sauce now because of the bullies

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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What did Todd mean by this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)19:31:13 No.655712369 Roy_Philips_webp.png 751 KB PNG >the misunderstood, persecuted minorities unfairly hated for reasons beyond their control are violent psychopaths who deserve to die, actually

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Anon on the perfect controller | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous game controller stagnation 10/29/23(Sun)19:23:20 No.655711902 Controller-Wired-Zwart---Microsoft.jpg 24 KB JPG >Been using the same wired xbox360 controller since 2013. >Never had to replace it. >This controller came out in 2005. Game controllers have not improved in 18 years, how?????

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Anon on vet clinic reviews | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 915 KB JPG 07/18/23(Tue)01:07:58 No.4571458 >reading vet reviews on google >"This place is pawsitively purrfect!" Yeah, I'm not taking my dog to that cringe s-------.

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Anon encounters a girl on Discord | /r/Greentext

File: Ixaalnc5v7w41.jpg (66 KB, 709x960) Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)14:21:46 No.75230050 >girl adds me on discord >she has nitro which indicates she has a simp buying her stuff >block her on everything Every f------ time. I just want to find a girl who doesn't have any simps or male "friends". Is that too much to ask?

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Anon checks Facebook | /r/Greentext

File: 1677966631847791.jpg (33 KB, 656x527) C >24 Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)10:59:38 No.75228776 Made the massive mistake of looking at my facebook account for the first time in ~8 years and checking out where everyone is now since I made it in middle school in 2009 and every single person has a literally perfect life. So how are the people you know from school doing in relation to you anons? as for me: >overweight >virgin >meme humanities degree >pointless office wagie government career on 70k >alcoholic >no hobbies except writing fanfiction >one irl friend who I watch a movie with once a month, some other people I know on discord, that's it, haven't been to any other social event in like 5 years everyone I used to know is working at the UN or they're married lawyers this is what I get for browsing 4chan daily since I was 10 i guess Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)11:00:37 No.75228782 File: 1695709294701434.jpg (15 KB, 248x241) Youre gonna die and im gonna laugh about it

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Anon thinks about son midsex | /r/Greentext

185 KB PNG >be dad >Have gay son >Ok still love him it's 2022 >Meet his BF from university >Way more of a man than son >Just know >F--- wife >Break down crying midsex The thought of my son getting his incides rearranged just like his mother is too much to bare... How do I live knowing he's the bottom

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Anon gets the urge | /r/Greentext

File: 1698182088267384.jpg (2.36 MB, 3441x3441) >> it's so over Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)09:21:06 No.75228246 >>75228706 >>75228866 >>75228365 >me at 10 I will never deal with girls >me at 15 i will never deal with girls >me at 18 i will never deal with girls >me at 25 I feel an indescribable urge to have a gf Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)09:28:36 No.75228289 Same but I got the urge at 32 so I'm way more f----- Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)09:31:16 No.75228311 >>75228482 >me at 5 I want a gf >me at 10 I want a gf >me at 15 I want a gf >me at 20 I have seen enough >me at 25 I want to die

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Anon questions their coworker's logic | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-10-29 at (...).png (1.02 MB, 1500x843) 19 Are women capable of rational thought? Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)10:04:52 No.75228497 >>75228732 >>75228749 >>75228766 >>75228890 >have 23F coworker >a fuccboi just broke her heart >cheated her with several women >girl now sad and angry with men >tells me she wants a good guy >meets fuccbois cousin also a fuccboi >she assures she's done with fuccbois >sleeps with him within a week because it "just happened" >she thinks they're now dating and is in "Love" again >catches him f------ another girl a week after >surprised pikachu face

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Anon goes on Tinder in a foreign country | /r/Greentext

File: main-qimg-3bf790f592150ed(...).jpg (52 KB, 602x602) Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)11:10:49 No.75228852 >Be me >29 year old guy from Canada >Go on vacation in foreign country >Use Tinder because single, not actively trying to get laid because the country I went to isn't known as a hotspot for that >Get matches with attractive, real women >Most didn't speak English very good so had no dates, still felt good to know I'm not universally unattractive >Come back to Canada >Go on tinder >Only match with one onlyfans hustler This s--- is a f------ joke. The passport bros were right all along.

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Anon talks to a hot girl | /r/Greentext

24 KB JPG >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away

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The Hacker Known as 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 287 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)13:47:29 No.75228580 BOOO!! happy halloween frenz!!! : Anonymous >>75228580 (OP) # spooky alloween to you champo : Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)14:04:44 No.75228650 : Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)14:22:51 No.75228733 >>75228580 (OP) # ah! you scared me happy halloween fren :D 35 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)14:33:33 No.75228797 >>75228580 (OP) # He knows where you live. : Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)14:34:24 No.75228804 >>75228580 (OP) # I thought Halloween was on the 31st?? Was it changed

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Anon Doesn't Think Highly Of Women | /r/Greentext

what makes you think you are male >>26451683 # >>26451720 # >>26451727 # >>26456778 # : FunnyDog >>264451 Win for po Anonymous 06/25/22(Sat)11:06:06 No.26451720 >>26451649 # I am sentient. Women are NPCs with no internal world. I'm just one of very few females who is sentient, which others label as "transgender".

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets lost in the sauce | /r/Greentext

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98 KB JPG >used to really enjoy hot sauce >saw a local meetup for hot sauce enthusiasts >went along, but thought i'd bring a nice gift for everyone >made a special batch of hot sauce, as hot as I could >make a special handcrafted wooden container for the bottle to go in >it is in the shape of an ambulance >carved the words 'HOT SAUCE WARD' onto the wooden ambulance with the hot sauce bottle inside >i thought the sauce i made was unbearably hot >inside the wooden ambulance with a hand knitted cotton doll of myself, wearing a little T-Shirt that said 'Habanero Harold' (my name is harold) >took the gift to the meetup and presented it >the 'ring leader' kind of guy who the other hot saucers obviously worship opens the ambulance, takes the hot sauce out >has a sip >starts laughing >literally glugs like 1/3rd of the bottle >tells me it isn't hot at all, and all the other hot saucers laugh at me >i get upset, and apologise for bothering them and leave >few days later get a knock at my door >open it >the ambulance is sitting on the floor >they have carved the words 'MILD FOOD EMERGENCY UNIT' over the words 'hot sauce ward' >tfw don't like hot sauce now because of the bullies

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