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>inherit lawn mower and yard tools from grandpa >learn how to use them properly they are in great condition >put small ad in the local town newspaper >start getting calls from townies >borrow dad's truck and trailer to go out to little old ladies houses in town >make a show of estimating how much to do their yard (its always a hundred bucks) >sit on mower pretending to drive over gladiators heads >make sure not to hit any of their flowers >trim the edges and collect up sticks for my burn pile >tell old lady her flowers are beautiful and thank her for the opportunity >usually get a tip >repeat two or three more times that day >go home and burn sticks and drink beers Is it really this easy? What's the catch?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 519 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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More like the whiny drinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed) 21:29:24 No. 198764737 Tennessee JACK DANIELS KEY drinker.png 585 KB PNG >Did you know that... le strong female characters and minorities bad? >*cuts to clip of J.K Simmons laughing* >*cuts to clip of Nick Cage screaming* >GO AWAY NOW

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Anon makes a bold prediction | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update][Auto] File: ac2335e451f521669872e7ede(...).jpg (45 KB, 768x512) Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:26:47 No. 16571630 >>16571643 >>16572245 >>16572379 Historically speaking, are you ready for the first third party US president? Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:27:23 No. 16571633 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:30:53 No. 16571643 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)09:25:01 No. 16571786 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:18:56 No. 16572123 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:53:52 No. 16572238 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:55:58 No. 16572245 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:57:07 No. 16572252 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:08:16 No.16572294 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:20:10 No. 16572333 >>16572371 >takes enough votes from the other guys that no one gets to 270 >house of representatives has to decide >pick RFK because he's the only candidate acceptable for both the right and left screencap this

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Yeah its over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/24(Fri)16:37:15 No.195573518 17 KB JPG >watching movie with parents >sex scene >awkward silence as they're reminded I haven't done it yet >mom shoots a sympathetic you'll find someone one day look

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Anon is an Otolaryngologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)19:13:38 No.77337504 File: toilet.png (44 KB, 252x238) >be me >be practicing Otolaryngologist >visit my sister who lives in Chendu, China with her chinese husband >husband hates me for some reason, outright pretending not to speak english around me >anyway, have dinner together >china man makes us some rice with beef and other things in it >we finish eating >needtodefecate.jpeg >i stand up and the chinese guy laughs >i glance at him, but dont think much of it >on the way to the s------ I feel a little weird >as I enter the toilet, waves of nausea and discomfort overwhelm me. >the chinese guy mustve poisoned me >look at myself the mirror, my whole face is swollen and red >i have a hard time breathing >i lean in closer to the mirror looking myself in the eye >you are a practicing Otalyngologist anon, you can deal with this >i pull down my pants as my muscles start contracting >i s--- on the s------ and feel the poop slide down the tube, however just as it reaches my sphincter, a muscle contraction pushes it back up >with each effort the feces advance only to be regurgitated by the relentless contractions >ohno.png >i try again, straining as hard as possible >the poops little head comes out a little and ends up being beheaded by the next contraction, while the main log slides back into my abdomen >FuckltlGiveUp.mp4 >I stand up barely able to breathe, I reach into my pockets, hastily finding an antihestamine, seconds later I swallow it >i leave bathroom and go back to kitchen >chinese guy denies that he tried to kill me Why are chinese people like this anons?

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Japan anon complains about Google | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yo9uWIYS >>466696792 Google 2012: 04/30/24(Tue)22:06:40 No.466704430 >Hey, Google, whose t--- are these? >Oh those? Those belong to Estella Warren! She was in Planet of the Apes (2001). Here, I've got some higher resolution images of that. Here's the uncropped version. Here's a Russian website hosting every single photo of her ever taken. Here she is on the cover of some magazine. >Thanks, Google. You're the best! >Let's be best friends forever, Anon! Google 2024: >Google, whose t--- are these? >Huh? Uh yeah. Here's a wikipedia page about erotica. >Google, this doesnt even have the image I gave you. >It's close enough! Here's a wikipedia page about lingerie. >You're not even trying, Google!

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Anon doesn’t want to chase a 4chan girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG |269.96 KB Tuesday 2024-04-30 21:12:26 2 hours ago 13 Replies 1 Image 77326697 what the f--- happened >meet girl off of /soc/ who actually lives like a 10 minute drive away from me >we click instantly, decide to meetup in less than a week of talking >meet up, it goes great, we spend the entire time cuddling on a bench looking at the sunset and afterwards got coffee >wouldn't stop hugging me for a solid minute when we had to part ways >almost kissed too >Part ways >afterwards she tells me she thinks we're going too fast, got anxious and started asking me why I hugged her if I barely knew her >she starts responding less and less >ffw two weeks of on and off small talk, a lot less engaging than before and I can feel it >send her a message one less time >she doesn't respond >give up messaging her because I don't want to feel like I'm chasing her and acting like a loser I just feel like I lost something great before I even had it 6< REPLY

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Femanon is baiting anon | /r/Greentext

99 KB JPG >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

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Anon has a a condom eating gf | /r/Greentext

515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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>I wake up, there’s a psyop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)09:42:06 No. 196640070 1000000745.jpg 212 KB JPG >bro American suburbs are le bad because hecking they are not hecking walkable and the YouTube algorithm told me that was bad! Anonymous + >>196640070 (OP) # okay i believe you 04/29/24(Mon)09:43:04 No.196640102

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Bicurious George | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)20:35:52 No.76743826 >33 >haven't had sex in 9 years >getting closer to trying guys every day 58 KB PNG Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun) 20:37:47 No.76743843 Bicurious George, I get it, that's a good one. 410 KB PNG >>76743885 #

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2024 00:17:15 No.77055714 View Quoted By: >>77055786 >>77055804 >>77055840 >>77055935 >>77055949 >>77055969 >>77056009 >>77056046 >>77056053 >>77056082 >>77056313 >>77056624 >>77057524 >>77057556 >>77058386 >>77060044 >>77060194 >>77061266 >be me >29yo former neet >finally got a decent job >moved into my own apartment >still no real friends but coworkers are alright >all my life seen movies and tv shows where girls wear the guy's shirt the morning after they f--- >always thought it was hot as hell >never thought i'd get to see a girl in my shirt >go out drinking after work on friday >meet petite qt at bar and hit it off talking about twin peaks >she's like 5 foot tall and so delicate and graceful >she comes back to my place >we f--- >wake up next morning in empty bed >smell coffee and bacon >get up and go to kitchen >"thought i'd make us some breakfast, anon, hope you don't mind" >SHE'S WEARING MY WORK SHIRT FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE >pic isn't her but is as close as i could find >looks so f------ beautiful and feminine >i literally have to hold back tears of happiness >she was here all weekend and just went home >gonna go on a date with her on friday dreams come true, robots, don't give up

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All this violence just for silence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I must CORRECT you! JPG | 156.44 KB Wednesday 2024-05-01 09:14:21 5 hours ago 77333518 >casually and calmly talking to my mom and sister about something >nothing angry, just calm >brain just blanks for a min >punch a massive hole into the wall >walk up to my mother and scream at her face that she is a f------ bitch and that I am going to kill her >calmly wish them a good night and go to sleep >mom is now trying to get me to come out of my room and speak to her (I locked the door) What the f--- frens? What happened? I'm so confused rn, my brain went on autopilot... 5 Replies 0 Images 3< REPLY

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Greentext Stories - Anon learns about landscaping | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

>inherit lawn mower and yard tools from grandpa >learn how to use them properly they are in great condition >put small ad in the local town newspaper >start getting calls from townies >borrow dad's truck and trailer to go out to little old ladies houses in town >make a show of estimating how much to do their yard (its always a hundred bucks) >sit on mower pretending to drive over gladiators heads >make sure not to hit any of their flowers >trim the edges and collect up sticks for my burn pile >tell old lady her flowers are beautiful and thank her for the opportunity >usually get a tip >repeat two or three more times that day >go home and burn sticks and drink beers Is it really this easy? What's the catch?

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Uploaded May 01, 2024 at 07:25PM EDT

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