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Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)19:13:38 No.77337504 File: toilet.png (44 KB, 252x238) >be me >be practicing Otolaryngologist >visit my sister who lives in Chendu, China with her chinese husband >husband hates me for some reason, outright pretending not to speak english around me >anyway, have dinner together >china man makes us some rice with beef and other things in it >we finish eating >needtodefecate.jpeg >i stand up and the chinese guy laughs >i glance at him, but dont think much of it >on the way to the s------ I feel a little weird >as I enter the toilet, waves of nausea and discomfort overwhelm me. >the chinese guy mustve poisoned me >look at myself the mirror, my whole face is swollen and red >i have a hard time breathing >i lean in closer to the mirror looking myself in the eye >you are a practicing Otalyngologist anon, you can deal with this >i pull down my pants as my muscles start contracting >i s--- on the s------ and feel the poop slide down the tube, however just as it reaches my sphincter, a muscle contraction pushes it back up >with each effort the feces advance only to be regurgitated by the relentless contractions >ohno.png >i try again, straining as hard as possible >the poops little head comes out a little and ends up being beheaded by the next contraction, while the main log slides back into my abdomen >FuckltlGiveUp.mp4 >I stand up barely able to breathe, I reach into my pockets, hastily finding an antihestamine, seconds later I swallow it >i leave bathroom and go back to kitchen >chinese guy denies that he tried to kill me Why are chinese people like this anons?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Japan anon complains about Google | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yo9uWIYS >>466696792 Google 2012: 04/30/24(Tue)22:06:40 No.466704430 >Hey, Google, whose t--- are these? >Oh those? Those belong to Estella Warren! She was in Planet of the Apes (2001). Here, I've got some higher resolution images of that. Here's the uncropped version. Here's a Russian website hosting every single photo of her ever taken. Here she is on the cover of some magazine. >Thanks, Google. You're the best! >Let's be best friends forever, Anon! Google 2024: >Google, whose t--- are these? >Huh? Uh yeah. Here's a wikipedia page about erotica. >Google, this doesnt even have the image I gave you. >It's close enough! Here's a wikipedia page about lingerie. >You're not even trying, Google!

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Anon doesn’t want to chase a 4chan girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG |269.96 KB Tuesday 2024-04-30 21:12:26 2 hours ago 13 Replies 1 Image 77326697 what the f--- happened >meet girl off of /soc/ who actually lives like a 10 minute drive away from me >we click instantly, decide to meetup in less than a week of talking >meet up, it goes great, we spend the entire time cuddling on a bench looking at the sunset and afterwards got coffee >wouldn't stop hugging me for a solid minute when we had to part ways >almost kissed too >Part ways >afterwards she tells me she thinks we're going too fast, got anxious and started asking me why I hugged her if I barely knew her >she starts responding less and less >ffw two weeks of on and off small talk, a lot less engaging than before and I can feel it >send her a message one less time >she doesn't respond >give up messaging her because I don't want to feel like I'm chasing her and acting like a loser I just feel like I lost something great before I even had it 6< REPLY

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Femanon is baiting anon | /r/Greentext

99 KB JPG >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

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Anon has a a condom eating gf | /r/Greentext

515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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>I wake up, there’s a psyop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)09:42:06 No. 196640070 1000000745.jpg 212 KB JPG >bro American suburbs are le bad because hecking they are not hecking walkable and the YouTube algorithm told me that was bad! Anonymous + >>196640070 (OP) # okay i believe you 04/29/24(Mon)09:43:04 No.196640102

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Bicurious George | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)20:35:52 No.76743826 >33 >haven't had sex in 9 years >getting closer to trying guys every day 58 KB PNG Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun) 20:37:47 No.76743843 Bicurious George, I get it, that's a good one. 410 KB PNG >>76743885 #

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2024 00:17:15 No.77055714 View Quoted By: >>77055786 >>77055804 >>77055840 >>77055935 >>77055949 >>77055969 >>77056009 >>77056046 >>77056053 >>77056082 >>77056313 >>77056624 >>77057524 >>77057556 >>77058386 >>77060044 >>77060194 >>77061266 >be me >29yo former neet >finally got a decent job >moved into my own apartment >still no real friends but coworkers are alright >all my life seen movies and tv shows where girls wear the guy's shirt the morning after they f--- >always thought it was hot as hell >never thought i'd get to see a girl in my shirt >go out drinking after work on friday >meet petite qt at bar and hit it off talking about twin peaks >she's like 5 foot tall and so delicate and graceful >she comes back to my place >we f--- >wake up next morning in empty bed >smell coffee and bacon >get up and go to kitchen >"thought i'd make us some breakfast, anon, hope you don't mind" >SHE'S WEARING MY WORK SHIRT FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE >pic isn't her but is as close as i could find >looks so f------ beautiful and feminine >i literally have to hold back tears of happiness >she was here all weekend and just went home >gonna go on a date with her on friday dreams come true, robots, don't give up

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All this violence just for silence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I must CORRECT you! JPG | 156.44 KB Wednesday 2024-05-01 09:14:21 5 hours ago 77333518 >casually and calmly talking to my mom and sister about something >nothing angry, just calm >brain just blanks for a min >punch a massive hole into the wall >walk up to my mother and scream at her face that she is a f------ bitch and that I am going to kill her >calmly wish them a good night and go to sleep >mom is now trying to get me to come out of my room and speak to her (I locked the door) What the f--- frens? What happened? I'm so confused rn, my brain went on autopilot... 5 Replies 0 Images 3< REPLY

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Anon the opportunist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LrP++U19 Kino police brutality soon? 04/30/24(Tue)23:21:21 No.466697525 123 KB JPG >NYC protesters get beaten by police >No food or water so they're starving >Biohazard lab mice biting them We may get some kino happening soon. If they start to chimp out and loot stores then I'll get an opportunity to slip into the crowd and shoplift pokemon cards

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Nuclear dinosaur is also cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 175 KB JPG 04/27/24(Sat)23:57:33 No. 198651421 >"Uh, actually CHUD, Japan surrendered because they were afraid of the Soviets, NOT because of the nuclear bombs!" >Meanwhile, every single film in Japanese cinema is about the trauma and fear of nuclear annihilation and none about communist infiltration. Are there any more t----- commie copes more seething than this one?

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4chan is wholesome sometimes for Healthpilled Walkmaxxed anon. | /r/Greentext

File: ss.jpg (224 KB, 1732x2048) Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)10:50:04 No.77333020 [Reply] >>77334295 started walking every day + 6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)13:30:35 No.77333999 >>77333550 Wrong. The benefits of daily walking are insane. Keep it up OP and look up the studies on walking for motivation Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)14:28:55 No.77334295 >>77333020 (OP) >>77334321 Same, started 3 months ago I started with just 15-20 minutes now it's about an hour daily I'm down 36 lbs already (But also that was cutting out all soda and fast food and chips and freezer junk food and substituting more protein and veggies during meals) It surprisingly is not difficult at all, I don't feel hungry, don't feel overworked (although the foot blisters were real at first) The hard part was being able to make the choice to want to change in the first place. All that said I have a long ass way to go but the progress feels good >t. down to 374 starting from 410, first time in my life I've ever went down in weight We can do it, gigafatbros >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)14:35:22 No.77334321 >>77334295 Congrats, bro! You are doing great! All that you are doing adds up. Keep up the great work! Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)14:37:05 No.77334329 ►>>77334347 >>77333550 this guy is right 99% of weight loss is purely diet, start doing OMAD, you'll stop feeling as hungry after like a week or two between meals Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)14:40:40 No.77334347 ► >>77334329 You are right that diet is very important You're dead wrong that the walking doesn't matter

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Anon is free | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/01/24(Wed)07:46:32 No.77333372 >be me, zoomer ascended bot >ugly autistic retard >stop going to r9k >somehow get cute fiancee, child >graduate with cs degree, things look good bros >even get a job >maybe the world isn't so bad after all >job market immediately goes to s--- >she dumps me one day with no warning and no coherent reasoning >i lose my job after because theyd rather hire poos who copypaste from chatgpt until they inevitably waste hundreds of thousands of dollars for nothing >i "quit" because i refused to do unpaid overtime after doing it constantly, so no unemployment >cant see my kid grow up >cant get a job because software is completely enshittified to the point where it can no longer be saved >living with parents doing f--- all >just lifting and spamming vidya dont buy into all of the s--- you hear. there is no light at the end of the tunnel bros.

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Greentext Stories - Anon is an Otolaryngologist | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)19:13:38 No.77337504 File: toilet.png (44 KB, 252x238) >be me >be practicing Otolaryngologist >visit my sister who lives in Chendu, China with her chinese husband >husband hates me for some reason, outright pretending not to speak english around me >anyway, have dinner together >china man makes us some rice with beef and other things in it >we finish eating >needtodefecate.jpeg >i stand up and the chinese guy laughs >i glance at him, but dont think much of it >on the way to the s------ I feel a little weird >as I enter the toilet, waves of nausea and discomfort overwhelm me. >the chinese guy mustve poisoned me >look at myself the mirror, my whole face is swollen and red >i have a hard time breathing >i lean in closer to the mirror looking myself in the eye >you are a practicing Otalyngologist anon, you can deal with this >i pull down my pants as my muscles start contracting >i s--- on the s------ and feel the poop slide down the tube, however just as it reaches my sphincter, a muscle contraction pushes it back up >with each effort the feces advance only to be regurgitated by the relentless contractions >ohno.png >i try again, straining as hard as possible >the poops little head comes out a little and ends up being beheaded by the next contraction, while the main log slides back into my abdomen >FuckltlGiveUp.mp4 >I stand up barely able to breathe, I reach into my pockets, hastily finding an antihestamine, seconds later I swallow it >i leave bathroom and go back to kitchen >chinese guy denies that he tried to kill me Why are chinese people like this anons?

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