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Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/21/24(Sun)02:59:46 No.77210541 >pay off student loans recently >get promoted to a lead engineer position at my company >getting more involved with the community and volunteering >going on hikes with groups every week >still single Thinking about splurging on dating apps for a few months. I've gotten women's numbers from IRL interactions, so I know I got the rizz to start the bizz. Problem is that these women are usually just as flakey as online dates, so it's just as much of an expensive numbers game as OLD. I also got a bunch of change burning a hole in my pocket, anyway. Still feels like I'm letting the app companies win after they f----- everyone over. I just really don't want to churn through 1000 bar thots to get an LTR. All I ever wanted was someone to share my life and start a family with. Sick of this s---. Anonymous >>77210541 (OP) # 04/21/24(Sun)03:01:56 No.77210560 my brother it is time for you to use some of that change in your deep pockets to find a wife overseas. keep her in the house and away from western influences. look into Morocco, Greece, Egypt, or Eastern Europe sans Ukraine and Russia.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon learns about landscaping | /r/Greentext

>inherit lawn mower and yard tools from grandpa >learn how to use them properly they are in great condition >put small ad in the local town newspaper >start getting calls from townies >borrow dad's truck and trailer to go out to little old ladies houses in town >make a show of estimating how much to do their yard (its always a hundred bucks) >sit on mower pretending to drive over gladiators heads >make sure not to hit any of their flowers >trim the edges and collect up sticks for my burn pile >tell old lady her flowers are beautiful and thank her for the opportunity >usually get a tip >repeat two or three more times that day >go home and burn sticks and drink beers Is it really this easy? What's the catch?

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More like the whiny drinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed) 21:29:24 No. 198764737 Tennessee JACK DANIELS KEY drinker.png 585 KB PNG >Did you know that... le strong female characters and minorities bad? >*cuts to clip of J.K Simmons laughing* >*cuts to clip of Nick Cage screaming* >GO AWAY NOW

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Anon makes a bold prediction | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update][Auto] File: ac2335e451f521669872e7ede(...).jpg (45 KB, 768x512) Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:26:47 No. 16571630 >>16571643 >>16572245 >>16572379 Historically speaking, are you ready for the first third party US president? Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:27:23 No. 16571633 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:30:53 No. 16571643 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)09:25:01 No. 16571786 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:18:56 No. 16572123 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:53:52 No. 16572238 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:55:58 No. 16572245 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:57:07 No. 16572252 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:08:16 No.16572294 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:20:10 No. 16572333 >>16572371 >takes enough votes from the other guys that no one gets to 270 >house of representatives has to decide >pick RFK because he's the only candidate acceptable for both the right and left screencap this

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Yeah its over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/24(Fri)16:37:15 No.195573518 17 KB JPG >watching movie with parents >sex scene >awkward silence as they're reminded I haven't done it yet >mom shoots a sympathetic you'll find someone one day look

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Anon is an Otolaryngologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)19:13:38 No.77337504 File: toilet.png (44 KB, 252x238) >be me >be practicing Otolaryngologist >visit my sister who lives in Chendu, China with her chinese husband >husband hates me for some reason, outright pretending not to speak english around me >anyway, have dinner together >china man makes us some rice with beef and other things in it >we finish eating >needtodefecate.jpeg >i stand up and the chinese guy laughs >i glance at him, but dont think much of it >on the way to the s------ I feel a little weird >as I enter the toilet, waves of nausea and discomfort overwhelm me. >the chinese guy mustve poisoned me >look at myself the mirror, my whole face is swollen and red >i have a hard time breathing >i lean in closer to the mirror looking myself in the eye >you are a practicing Otalyngologist anon, you can deal with this >i pull down my pants as my muscles start contracting >i s--- on the s------ and feel the poop slide down the tube, however just as it reaches my sphincter, a muscle contraction pushes it back up >with each effort the feces advance only to be regurgitated by the relentless contractions >ohno.png >i try again, straining as hard as possible >the poops little head comes out a little and ends up being beheaded by the next contraction, while the main log slides back into my abdomen >FuckltlGiveUp.mp4 >I stand up barely able to breathe, I reach into my pockets, hastily finding an antihestamine, seconds later I swallow it >i leave bathroom and go back to kitchen >chinese guy denies that he tried to kill me Why are chinese people like this anons?

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Japan anon complains about Google | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yo9uWIYS >>466696792 Google 2012: 04/30/24(Tue)22:06:40 No.466704430 >Hey, Google, whose t--- are these? >Oh those? Those belong to Estella Warren! She was in Planet of the Apes (2001). Here, I've got some higher resolution images of that. Here's the uncropped version. Here's a Russian website hosting every single photo of her ever taken. Here she is on the cover of some magazine. >Thanks, Google. You're the best! >Let's be best friends forever, Anon! Google 2024: >Google, whose t--- are these? >Huh? Uh yeah. Here's a wikipedia page about erotica. >Google, this doesnt even have the image I gave you. >It's close enough! Here's a wikipedia page about lingerie. >You're not even trying, Google!

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Anon doesn’t want to chase a 4chan girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG |269.96 KB Tuesday 2024-04-30 21:12:26 2 hours ago 13 Replies 1 Image 77326697 what the f--- happened >meet girl off of /soc/ who actually lives like a 10 minute drive away from me >we click instantly, decide to meetup in less than a week of talking >meet up, it goes great, we spend the entire time cuddling on a bench looking at the sunset and afterwards got coffee >wouldn't stop hugging me for a solid minute when we had to part ways >almost kissed too >Part ways >afterwards she tells me she thinks we're going too fast, got anxious and started asking me why I hugged her if I barely knew her >she starts responding less and less >ffw two weeks of on and off small talk, a lot less engaging than before and I can feel it >send her a message one less time >she doesn't respond >give up messaging her because I don't want to feel like I'm chasing her and acting like a loser I just feel like I lost something great before I even had it 6< REPLY

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Femanon is baiting anon | /r/Greentext

99 KB JPG >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

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Anon has a a condom eating gf | /r/Greentext

515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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>I wake up, there’s a psyop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)09:42:06 No. 196640070 1000000745.jpg 212 KB JPG >bro American suburbs are le bad because hecking they are not hecking walkable and the YouTube algorithm told me that was bad! Anonymous + >>196640070 (OP) # okay i believe you 04/29/24(Mon)09:43:04 No.196640102

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Bicurious George | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)20:35:52 No.76743826 >33 >haven't had sex in 9 years >getting closer to trying guys every day 58 KB PNG Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun) 20:37:47 No.76743843 Bicurious George, I get it, that's a good one. 410 KB PNG >>76743885 #

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2024 00:17:15 No.77055714 View Quoted By: >>77055786 >>77055804 >>77055840 >>77055935 >>77055949 >>77055969 >>77056009 >>77056046 >>77056053 >>77056082 >>77056313 >>77056624 >>77057524 >>77057556 >>77058386 >>77060044 >>77060194 >>77061266 >be me >29yo former neet >finally got a decent job >moved into my own apartment >still no real friends but coworkers are alright >all my life seen movies and tv shows where girls wear the guy's shirt the morning after they f--- >always thought it was hot as hell >never thought i'd get to see a girl in my shirt >go out drinking after work on friday >meet petite qt at bar and hit it off talking about twin peaks >she's like 5 foot tall and so delicate and graceful >she comes back to my place >we f--- >wake up next morning in empty bed >smell coffee and bacon >get up and go to kitchen >"thought i'd make us some breakfast, anon, hope you don't mind" >SHE'S WEARING MY WORK SHIRT FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE >pic isn't her but is as close as i could find >looks so f------ beautiful and feminine >i literally have to hold back tears of happiness >she was here all weekend and just went home >gonna go on a date with her on friday dreams come true, robots, don't give up

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Greentext Stories - Anon is out of options | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/21/24(Sun)02:59:46 No.77210541 >pay off student loans recently >get promoted to a lead engineer position at my company >getting more involved with the community and volunteering >going on hikes with groups every week >still single Thinking about splurging on dating apps for a few months. I've gotten women's numbers from IRL interactions, so I know I got the rizz to start the bizz. Problem is that these women are usually just as flakey as online dates, so it's just as much of an expensive numbers game as OLD. I also got a bunch of change burning a hole in my pocket, anyway. Still feels like I'm letting the app companies win after they f----- everyone over. I just really don't want to churn through 1000 bar thots to get an LTR. All I ever wanted was someone to share my life and start a family with. Sick of this s---. Anonymous >>77210541 (OP) # 04/21/24(Sun)03:01:56 No.77210560 my brother it is time for you to use some of that change in your deep pockets to find a wife overseas. keep her in the house and away from western influences. look into Morocco, Greece, Egypt, or Eastern Europe sans Ukraine and Russia.

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