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>see cute squirrel >squirrels are related to mice >mice inspired pikachu >pikachu is electric >so are lightbulbs >lightbulbs are ideas >ideas can be crazy >my therapist deals with crazy >my therapist recently hired a maid >she doesn't need her hands if her maid cleans for her >i should cut my hands off to communicate this to her actual thought process i just had, b. am i batshit?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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The tale of anon creed | /r/Greentext

276 KB PNG > later that day >be me > been playing a lot of assassins creed > really fascinated by the parkour > I want to do parkour s--- too > watching yt tutorials on how to land properly and other basic s--- > the moon shines down onto my neighborhood > its time > I dress up > all blacked out clothes > I bicycle to the local town center and park my bicycle next to some bushes > I scout some buildings where i can test my skills > ah the local library > I go around the building and finds a ladder > when Im on top Im scouting other buildings and obstacles > start jumping from building to building > somehow I end up on a s----- roof > its the kind where the floor is squishy and gives after > when Im about to jump to the next roof the roof collapses > I fall straight down into a s----- looking Indian restaurant > cuts my whole left leg up > pain.exe > get up and trying to relocate myself > i see the cash register > why not > open it > finds approximately 170 dollars in cash > take it > suddenly a cop car parks outside with their flashing lights > time to bolt > I get a chair and climbs up the hole I fell trough > bolts back to my bike and cycles home > bandages my self up > next day I head to GameStop with the cash I got > buy the new call of duty

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anon likes tacos | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KE9teRBU 07/08/24(Mon)02:29:54 EUROPE 15 THE CANCER ISLAM 15 THE ANSWER No.473424228 >>473424383 >be american >have an illegal immigration problem >most ppl dont care that much cuz taco benders are pretty chill >and they make tacos which are delicious >be Europoor >have an illegal immigration problem >most of them are psycho Allah Akbars that think women should be treated as slaves >will literally behead you if you make fun of their religion >think faggotry should be punishable by stoning Man I do not envy you euroshits. We rly lucked out getting neighbors who are (semi)civilized

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Anon is feeling loved for the first time | /r/Greentext

72 KB JPG >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think I'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----

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anon has a loving grandpa | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/07/2024, 11:07:53 No.70655631 > be me > depressed 119 KB JPEG > grandpa notices > one day takes me fishing > don't really want to go, but agree > sit in silence in boat >suddenly, get big tug on the line > catch huge ass fish > grandpa is proud, we high five > gives me his old fishing hat > "i'm always here for you kiddo" >mfw > grandpa knew exactly what i needed > thanks grandpa pic rel

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Anon has a thought process | /r/Greentext

File: grey-faced-old-dog-comfor(...).jpg (86 KB, 1200x630) Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)15:19:48 No.31578401 >>31579078 >>31580228 >see cute squirrel >squirrels are related to mice >mice inspired pikachu >pikachu is electric >so are lightbulbs >lightbulbs are ideas >ideas can be crazy >> >> >my therapist deals with crazy >my therapist recently hired a maid >she doesn't need her hands if her maid cleans for her >i should cut my hands off to communicate this to her actual thought process i just had, b. am i batshit? Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)15:26:57 No.31578444 yes this is textbook schizophrenic thinking. see a psychiatrist too before it's too late. and it will be too late at some point Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)17:18:08 No.31579078 >>31578401 (OP). I wonder how ideas were symbolised before the lightbulb was invented.

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They knew their target audience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/29/24(Sat) 19:45:35 No.200657920 images - 2024-06-29T124222.448.jpg 22 KB JPG >random woman is nice to him for 5 seconds >imagines an entire relationship with her You don't do this, right /tv/?

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strike and sniff | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat)22:01:32 No.74652491 File: 1365101219635.jpg (51 KB, 960x783) >ottermode >work at a dojo >kids can be cut throat with what they say >especially the autistic ones >be in no gi >one says I've got big muscles >lolno >anyway >spar with another one >they keep sniffing their fist after landing punches on me >uwotmate.jpg >mfw smell mires

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I hope that kid was not on 4chan reading that | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 216 KB PNG there 07/20/22(Wed)23:49:10 No.882422033 nice lil story today >be me >alaskan >family of foxes live in my front yard. theyre pretty cute and they take care of the mice and squirrels so we let them live >went gym but basically didnt leave house, kinda just played vidya >1030 pm >no food in fridge or freezer >ok ill go to taco bell >get food, drive home, feeling kind of empty >driving up towards my house >3 of the foxes are out on the side of the street >like 12 y/o girl and her mom by the road taking pictures of the foxes the look on the girls face was priceless. she had clearly never seen a fox before, especially this close up (they were like 20 ft away, our foxes are quite used to humans). just seeing how happy this random kid was made my whole week. happiness really is quite contagious. if that kid's reading this, i hope you got some good pictures.

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Anon loses the ability to pair bond | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 276 KB JPG 03/01/23(Wed)22:21:08 No.895214169 I am a disgusting man w---- >break up with gf two years ago >sad for a full year then slowly cope >mass media and social media always cracking jokes about guys who don't get laid often are losers >general "body count" seems to be in 20s or 30s >movies show that cool guys sleep around >the influence gets to me >want to "live a fun party life", "let loose", "live my youth" Huge mistake >slept with 13 different women in the last 8 months >can't feel any emotions for any woman anymore >they're just walking vagina kiosks >same flirty jokes and topics on repeat, just new faces >I miss the nervous feeling in my stomach before a date >I miss feeling like I have a crush on someone >I want a woman I love play woth my hair, not a nameless tinder chick >feel depressed and empty >also feel like a dirty w---- >also feel disgusting just moving from vagina to vagina, never having a human connection Hookups have ruined me emotionally

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Brotherly bond | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zq1yzoyj) 11/07/20(Sat)09:43:45 No.11606892 ARE YA WINNING, SON? 3522582.2550000157_image.png 100 KB PNG One of the best things happened today >brother plays CS, very good at it >he's in a game with his friends as I'm writing this >decide to send him image >pic related >hear loud laughter from the other room >smile 6 Replies 3 Images View Thread

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Real men use a VGA cable | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)00:58:13 No.201006607 Guy who likes you but you're not quite attracted to him starterpack "Oh I never had time to < 6ft date in college, just looking to put my best foot forward" AT&T LTE 7:46 PM 100% - <Back 341-555-1092 They 1942 Hey! I had a great time, hope you did too. It was so fun getting to know you Contact I did) thanks for dropping me Somewhat cute, non-threatening appearance Hinge No problem, and I'd love to see you again soon :) Today 1:42 Hey, how's your day going? Are you free this Saturday? I might get tickets to that show we talked about Tay If you're interested, if not totally cool, just wanted to ask Introduced himself with a corny pickup line iMessage Send "I don't know, what are your thoughts about me?" Makes just under 6 figures Let him pay for the dates and he is always happy to. MARVEL STUDIOS 1706491035267318.png 694 KB PNG >when he connects the laptop to the tv with an HDMI cable

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I am anon, this is my own greentext. I need some asprin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MIGRAINE 81 KB JPG house once. 07/07/24(Sun)01:19:25 No.78073903 >be me 3 years old, f------ monkey child >climb on table, chandelier, all sorts of things. >fell and hit my head, broke arm off table once >be me 6 years old >was on the other side of the railing on my balcony in my >fell, not sure if I hit my head though. Still hurt >be me in playhouse 7 year old, being an idiot. >fall and hit head >be me 11 years old > jump over my twin sister full force into a wall >stiches on forehead >be me 16 Fall out of tree, break arm, doctor said I suffered a blow to the head and they gave me a cognitive test >I passed it >they still recommend me to go to another doctor >be me 19 today when after looking at my brain doctors say I've had multiple untreated concussions in the past >picrel tfw You can only imagine what this has done to me as a person irl Anonymous >>78073903 (OP) # 07/07/24(Sun)01:33:06 No.78073985 Sorry when I was 16 the fall from the tree knocked me out, forgot to add that

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Greentext Stories - Anon sees a squirrel | /r/Greentext

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>see cute squirrel >squirrels are related to mice >mice inspired pikachu >pikachu is electric >so are lightbulbs >lightbulbs are ideas >ideas can be crazy >my therapist deals with crazy >my therapist recently hired a maid >she doesn't need her hands if her maid cleans for her >i should cut my hands off to communicate this to her actual thought process i just had, b. am i batshit?

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