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Which Message Will Resonate With Voters? - Original Onion Page

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Friday, October 17, 1980 IN་་ FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE IN Trucker, Monkey LET THE PAVG Ice Begin 444 25 Campaign '80 Targeted by Area Police Jimmy Carter Ronald Reagan "Let's Talk Better "Kill the Bastards" Mileage" county line." "We suspect that unlawful shenanigans may have been involved," he added. VALDOSTA. G-Autho rities in this rural southern town continued their search Thursday for independent trucker B.J. McCay and his Despite the sheriff's relent- chimpanzee associate, Bear less search h for information McCay and his simian pet leading to the apprehension of were last scen speeding toward the trucker and the chiang, Macon in a rod-and-white rig some observers question They are wanted in connection whether the department has with a recent series of wild car been using unauthorized pro- and truck chases, known assocedures in pursuit of the d elation with af and zeny of the du duo provocatively dressed Wilhelmina "The state trouper Wilhelmina Said with attractive women, Sgt. Beaursgard Wiley, who, along with Winslow County's Sherill Masters, has been pur- suing the pair for more than a year, said he has several sig nificant leads in the case. questioned two two young female hitchhikers," Wiley said, "and they reported that a handsome man and a regular zoo-monkey had given them a lift from Huntersville to the Fox" Johnson. To detain any suspect, no matter how hand- some or fun-loving, the sheriff must have a concrete charge." Wet an Wiley said he and the sheriff plan to conduct an investige- tion at the Country Comfort Truck Stop, where they will interrogate the owner, Bullets, to obtain crucial evidence of McCay and Bear's acts of mis- chief Danielle Steel Publishes Which Message Will Resonate with Voters? First Through Eighth Novels ANN ARBOR, Mich-la a While much of what nationally televised debate President Carter says is true, building, and low-cost hous- ing and job-training pro- BEVERLY HILLS, Calif- which she expects to finish in Roraance novelist Danielle the next 20 to 25 minutes.

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