Anonymous 242 KB GIF 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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File: 1734408589511921.png (34 KB, 573x670) ? ☐ Joined the KKK Anonymous (ID: Ybqstjeg) 12/17/24(Tue)05:22:27 No.491617594 ►>>491617668 >>491617963 >>491617981 >>491618322 >>491618391 >>491618- >>491618431 >>491618472 >>491618748 >>491618913 >Joined the KKK last August >Became the official recorder, my only special duty is that I have to record the monthly meeting minutes >Thought I was gonna have fun burning crosses and doing Klan dances and harrassing blacks >Klavern doesn't do that anymore >My Klavem is basically 100% a charity organization/fraternity >All we do is work charity jobs or shoot the s--- and eat BBQ and watch movies >Never even wore the robes myself >Last month we all got together to clean up the local park >Last week we distributed shoes to children in need >Literally it's just a charity organization for white people >Everyone in town knows we're the KKK but they don't say it out loud >They actually like us I gotta admit I'm having alot of fun and feel good about myself but this is not what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting but gotta admit I like it.

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Bx06Jhvz ) ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/16/24(Mon)19:42:29 No.491602886 Peter R. Quiñc @PeterRQuin⚫ Dec 15 Hypothetical: One country must no longer exist. A: United States B: Israel Choose ○ 8 13 556 7K Rep. Don Bacon Read Revelations and report back. @RepDor 23h - 112 48 10 ılı 73K 88 KB JPG Donald John Bacon (R) is an American politician and retired military officer serving as the U.S. representative for Nebraska. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Bacon https://x.com/RepDonBacon/status/1868334120272585209 Anonymous (ID: TgJCydqZ >Name is Bacon >Loves jews You can only have one. 12/16/24(Mon)19:45:23 No.491603092

Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 19:08:40 No.41739806 full (13).jpg 207 KB JPG >Howdy, partner. You're finally awake. >You were tryin' to cross the border, I reckon? >Trotted right into that Royal ambush, same as us, an' that cattle rustler over there. : Anonymous >r--- 12/16/24(Mon) 19:10:48 No.41739809

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Anon puts on a magic show | /r/Greentext

File: magician.png (110 KB, 318x363) Anonymous 12/18/24(Wed)08:01:15 No.79788202 >Be me, 25 years old >Pretty good at magic tricks. >Have a couple acts I put together as part of my magician senior project back in the day. >Sometimes perform small shows for my friends when we're drinking. >They seem to enjoy it. Ladies seem to enjoy it if they're around. >I'm always learning new tricks, but start experimenting with other mediums. >Realize I'm pretty good with controlling farts. I can make farts of all different sounds. Also start experimenting with different foods and carbonated beverages. >Decide it would be a good idea to perform a fart show. >Basically I perform an act which incorporates a variety of farts with a few magic tricks and jokes mixed in. >Tell my friends I'll do a small magic performance but don't tell anyone any specifics. >Friendsgiving finally rolls around. >Gather everyone around and put on a drumbeat loop in the background(standard stuff). >Begin my fart show to a mix of jubilance and horror. >Performed the entire show(almost five minutes) and I didn't quite get the reaction I thought I would. There were a couple ladies who left in the middle of it. Everyone mostly avoided me for the rest of the night. I don't understand. I put so much work into my act, even researching the types of food combinations to eat in order to put on an entire five minute show. I feel betrayed in that all these modern performative art shows get all the attention, meanwhile nobody really appreciated the performative value of my show. Should I give it up? Or maybe I should try again at an actual performative art show?

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Chickens discovered meat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/10/17(Sun)11:09:47 No.36117406 >>36098782 (OP) # >have a chicken coop HEGRET NOTHING 422 KB GIF >mice come for free gimmidats >have an old air rifle >decide to go full swat >rush in to catch mice off-guard >its very hard to hit a small moving target with a single shot rifle >shot one in the back, it couldn't move but it was still alive > chickens sense the distress and go full t-rex mode >now they acquired the taste for mice > chickens now actively hunt mice >mfw the problem has solved itself 8:0

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Anon obviously couldn’t take a hint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F--- DEADASS? >be me 37 KB JPG her friends >hate her guts 07/04/23(Tue)16:20:37 No.73905484 >in 9th grade >know this one girl in my classes >9/10 hot asf but she's the most annoying bitch I've ever met. >steals my s---, insults me, s---- on my hobbies, tries to humiliate me in front of >one day I've had enough of her s--- and yell at her in the middle of class >her face is bright red and she stops messing with me >constantly tries initiating conversation with me afterward >ignore her or give one word answers >randomly stops me in the hallway and tries to talk to me >I was having a bad day >tell her to f--- off and die >runs away crying and stops talking to me >find out years later from a friend that she had a huge crush on me and bullied me to get my attention cuz thats how I acted with my friends >look her up on insta >she's drop dead gorgeous and in medical school studying to be a neurologist >realize what my life could've been I'm a virgin at 25 f--- everything man

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Anon clears out his phone | /r/Greentext

File: bouncejak.png (191 KB, 1248x1284) ☐ Anonymous 12/18/24(Wed)08:22:44 No.79788307 >clearing out my phone >get to texts >it's literally all OTP and automated notifications from random s--- >the last time a human being texted me was in february when a coworker needed a ride to work anyone else at the point where you can hardly be said to exist because nobody perceives you?

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Anon make friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 399044708 640.5 KB PNG >>399044395 (OP) >be me 16 mins ago >finally get a decent computer for that time (i live in australia so we're always behind other countries) >about 10 >befriend a guy from europe on runescape >we become best buds >he messages me everytime I logon without fail >we skill together >we slay hill giants together >one day login >he tells me he got rune armour >says his gonna go in wildy and wants me to come >decide to go with him >he gets attack by ranger but we kill them >european friend low on health >pull out my rune scimmy start hitting him >kill him >he messages me "w-- bro i thought we friends" >take his armour >block him and logout crying I-I hope his well.

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History repeats itself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>63044441 (OP) # 12/17/24(Tue)08:26:54 No.63044459 how do i get a 1x4 inch cylinder of soft material out of a rifle's chamber? additionally, its imperative that the cylinder goes unharmed >>63044476 # >>63044487 # >>63044528 # >>63044750 # >>63044843 #

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Manifest destiny | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_2098.jpg (548 KB, 932x651) ☐ Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat)04:07:00 No.206973547 >>206976476 >>206977045 >>206979316 >>206979391 >goes to "war" >girlfriend cucks him >does nothing in war What was the point of this movie? >>206974004 >>206974035 >>206974053 >>206974054 >>206974065 >>206974066 >>206974083 >>206974139 >>206974144 >>206974325 >>206974641 >>206974663 >>206974754 >>206974824 >>206974834 >>206975359 >>206975518 >>206975695 >>206975983 Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat) 04:21:37 No.206973948 >>206973974 >>206973987 >>206974052 >>206974055 >>206974065 >>206974085 >>206974464 >>206974489 >>206974575 >>206974645 >>206979237 Average US vet experience.

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This community requires title to be at least 10 characters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)18:18:41 No.69860893 81 KB JPG >be me >have gf >hear about Andrew Tate, decide to look him up >really like his advice >decide to try it on gf to gain her respect >be with her one day >tell her that I cheated on her (i didn't) >she is understandably upset >tell her "Yeah, got drunk. F----- some girl. Don't remember her name. If you want to leave you can leave." >she actually does >heartbroken, text her every day telling her it wasn't real and I was just following advice I got online to be cool >tell her to look up Andrew Tate so she'll see what i mean >pretty sure she blocked me, all our friends hate me now What the f--- do I do? She was my first gf, I literally have nothing without her.

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Drumpfs masterplan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: a2xCjAii) 12/17/24(Tue)19:14:02 No.491661319 >>491661371 >>491661572 >>491661616 >be 2025 >Trump wins second term, libs and media lose their minds >Everyone's convinced he's gonna pull the US out of NATO, sell Alaska back to Russia, and kiss Putin on live TV >Day 1: pulls troops back from Europe, calls Zelensky "a nice kid, but it's not our problem" >"America first," they cheer >Ukraine starts to buckle, Russia's momentum grows, autocrats around the world celebrating >Suddenly, out of nowhere >US delivers 500 HIMARS systems, 10,000 Abrams, F-16s, Patriots, and drops the full industrial might of the American military on Russia's head >Russian positions get flattened in weeks, Kremlin in total panic >Putin starts crying on TV about "Western aggression" >China tries to play tough - Trump slaps them with 1000% tariffs and threatens to bomb their ports if they so much as blink at Taiwan >North Korea? Their latest missile test blows up on the launch pad - Trump tweets "Rocket Man's fireworks are sad!" before dropping a fleet in the Yellow Sea >Iranian regime collapses under maximum sanctions and covert ops >Ukraine pushes to Moscow; Putin "disappears" into a bunker >Trump delivers a speech at a newly rebuilt Kyiv >"They all said, they said, 'Trump, he loves Russia. Trump loves Putin.' You know that, you've heard it, everybody said it. Not true, folks. We sent the best tanks. The Abrams, very tough. Very strong. Zelensky knows, he knows - I told him, I said, 'You're doing a fantastic job, but you need me to win. And we did it. Bye-bye, Putin! China? Behaving now. North Korea? Very quiet, very small rockets now, folks. Very sad rockets. Iran? They gave up - totally gave up. Nobody's heard from them in months. Because when America steps in, we win. And we win bigly. We won bigly, folks. You're welcome." >walks off stage to the sound of NATO leaders applauding and Zelensky tearing up >"God Bless America" plays as US troops raise the flag on a Kremlin reduced to rubble

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Anon's human rights are in danger | /r/Greentext

American hating chinese citiziens Tim Walz and Phil Murphy frivolously sue gun makers American hating chinese citizi(...) 12/16/24(Mon)02:09:03 No.1368617 GbOxzXZXAAAQGoi[1].jpg 61 KB JPG https://www.phillyvoice.com/new-jersey-glock-lawsuit-gun- switches-minnesota/ >Tim Walz, a chinese citizen, America hater and alleged child r----- has teamed up with Phil Murphy, an israeli citizen, America hater and intentional mass murderer of olds to sue Glock for frivolous b------- in an attempt to deny Americans their basic human rights

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Anon is a military strategist | /r/Greentext

725 KB JPEG The US has lost every war each time it has fought against an opponent that f---- animals. What does this mean for the future? > WARS LOST > Taliban - literally marry goats and f--- them > Vietcong - regularly f--- monkeys and water buffalo > Cubans - f--- so many pigs they named a bay after it > WARS WON > Nazis - only f--- pristine white women or jewish sex slaves > J--- - train women from childhood to be painted sex slaves > British - men mostly impotent, women resort to lesbianism > Spaniels - only f--- hot latina women who love a--- The next upcoming wars are against Russia and China. The Russians f--- bears and the Chinese f--- pandas. WE ARE DOOMED

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Anon is an Asian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 12/17/24(Tue)14:10:19 No.79778778 >be me >goes to asian college famous for high suicide rate >so stressful they have an anti suicide mental help subcourse for students >see it and thought I'd get some advice plus some free scores >tfw I was forced to attend useless seminars 4 times a week and do hard, time consuming essays reports about psychology Woah thanks n----- now I'd actually wanna kill myslef 7 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous View Thread 79 KB JPG >>79779461 # 12/17/24(Tue)15:39:15 No.79779221 >>79779138 # Wild, get rekt f-----. This is what you get for trying to cheat the system. You must Chinese, because you f------ cheat in everything.

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Greentext Stories - Anon learns how to cook | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 242 KB GIF 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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