Notes: Watching children is a chore. They can get up to no good, and fast. Watching kids is hard, like…harder than my n------ when I walk into a freezer wearing my birthday suit.

So the other day I was calling my girlfriend, and she’s been babysitting this little gremlin off and on for the past few years, and he’s a handful. He has this pet tiger he takes around everywhere like it’s f------ Life of Pi, and he’s a bit of a weirdo.

To my utter shock and dismay, this little goober answers my phone call, and proceeds to tell me that my girlfriend is locked outside, trying to peek through the window like she’s Sneako. He formed a plan in his teeny little noodle to get her to check on a noise outside, and slammed the door behind her like he was locking her in the brig. Only it wasn’t the brig, it was the outside of the house.

I was on stream while it happened, so I have some clips of the whole thing going down.