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prokopetz This is the one time of year that I love wasps. Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They're horrid little creatures year round. No, it's because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening Now, if you don't harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze. I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the "rawr, I'ma f--- you up! routine for which wasps are known. The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat. So: the wasps try to come at me, but they're too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting. Perhaps I'm a man of simple pleasures, butI bust up laughing every single. time F------ wasps 68,111 notes *は

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that-one-curly-haired-chick reblogged celadonisle 39m ago ahotknife Follow Jul 11 YOU don't have to be perfect to be loved. but I do tredekim Follow Oct 24
lovecorespongebob LAZINESS IS CONTAGIOUS listen this is the f RIGHT, JIM? JIM?... RIGHT JM DAVIS 5-5 funniest garfield strip. you just can't top this one i'm sorry
dumbpuppyfag can we all agree that it's pathetic when so-called "friends" try to sabotage your opportunities? you're clearly jealous that the amulet of eternal darkness chose me and no amount of "please fight it, i know you're still in there somewhere" is going to change that. crab bucket mentality. grow up. 63,728 notes D D
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Uploaded Aug 28, 2014 at 10:04PM EDT

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drunk, apples, tasty, omnomnom, wasps

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