house of cards hand.ipg (129 KB, 460x453) google igdb Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue )04:26:18 No.1679911316799136 >16799171 >>16799459 >Sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for mom I loathe the necessity for mom, but for now I must accept that she is but a means to an end >Tonight, that end is Pizza Hut >Mom enters the room >"Honey, I know I promised Pizza Hut tonight, but we can't afford Pizza tonight. I didn't realize you spent $30 on my debit card this morning" > "Mom, the nature of promises is that they remain immune to changing circumstances" >"T'm sorry, but I just can't afford it. When I get paid on Friday well get Pizza Hut. I promise" >Look slightly to her left, into the camera >"You might be thinking 've foiled myself. You would be wrong." >Turn back to mom > This is a betrayal of the highest order and I demand compensation. Friday is not enough. Not even close. Promise me Pizza Hut every night this weekend or l swear to God Ill kill myself" >"Honey, please don't do this again" >l interrupt her with the clattering of silverware as I tear through the cabinet looking for a knife to threaten myself with >"I do not make idle threats mom. Capitulate or you'll be explaining this to the police over my cold dead corpse" >She bursts into tears and agrees >Defeated, she gets into her car and leaves for her second job >Not 5 minutes later, the doorbells rings >You might be thinking it's mom, but you'd be wrong, again >You see: Earlier today I had placed an order to Pizza Hut, due to arrive exactly at this moment, on my mother's debit card >"You didn't really think I'd go without Pizza Hut did you?" >l claim my prize without tipping. Devour the entire dinner and return to the basement >I work on my rowing machine while I plot my next move

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O File: 1445215288691.jpg (55 KB, 438x438) Anonymous 1/06/21(Tue)06:52:13 No.827969426 [Reply] D >Bitch mummy get running >Bring me f------ tendies! >I'm hungry for adventure >So you had better not delay >Dumb bitch >Better make it happen >Stack'em high on my dinner plate >Dippy bowl of that hunny mussy >Then I'm stuffing my face >I like Mountain Dew Lightning >Butt rumbly braps of thunder >The tendies better get here >Or you'll get a mudslide from down under >Bitch Mummy >Better make it happen >Stack'em high on my dinner plate >Dippy bowl of that hunny mussy >Then I'm stuffing my face >l'm a grown healthy child >I like tendies >Spicey or mild >Stack my tendies high >Double breaded, deep fried >Tendies deep fried >Tendies deep fried >Bitch mummy get running >Bring me f------ tendies! >Hungry for adventure >So you had better not delay >Bitch mummy >Better make it happen >Stack'em high on my dinner plate >Dippy bowl of that hunny mussy >Then I'm stuffing my face >I'm a grown, healthy child >I like tendies, >spicy or mild >Double breaded, deep fried >Tendies deep fried >Tendies deep fried

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house of cards hand.ipg (129 KB, 460x453) google igdb Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue )04:26:18 No.1679911316799136 >16799171 >>16799459 >Sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for mom I loathe the necessity for mom, but for now I must accept that she is but a means to an end >Tonight, that end is Pizza Hut >Mom enters the room >"Honey, I know I promised Pizza Hut tonight, but we can't afford Pizza tonight. I didn't realize you spent $30 on my debit card this morning" > "Mom, the nature of promises is that they remain immune to changing circumstances" >"T'm sorry, but I just can't afford it. When I get paid on Friday well get Pizza Hut. I promise" >Look slightly to her left, into the camera >"You might be thinking 've foiled myself. You would be wrong." >Turn back to mom > This is a betrayal of the highest order and I demand compensation. Friday is not enough. Not even close. Promise me Pizza Hut every night this weekend or l swear to God Ill kill myself" >"Honey, please don't do this again" >l interrupt her with the clattering of silverware as I tear through the cabinet looking for a knife to threaten myself with >"I do not make idle threats mom. Capitulate or you'll be explaining this to the police over my cold dead corpse" >She bursts into tears and agrees >Defeated, she gets into her car and leaves for her second job >Not 5 minutes later, the doorbells rings >You might be thinking it's mom, but you'd be wrong, again >You see: Earlier today I had placed an order to Pizza Hut, due to arrive exactly at this moment, on my mother's debit card >"You didn't really think I'd go without Pizza Hut did you?" >l claim my prize without tipping. Devour the entire dinner and return to the basement >I work on my rowing machine while I plot my next move

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