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School Life

Last posted Mar 22, 2014 at 12:26PM EDT. Added Mar 21, 2014 at 05:16PM EDT
18 posts from 17 users

Post stories about school (even if you’ve graduated)

clears throat
>Be 16
>Be in art class
>Teacher says, “We gonna do a project”
>Self portrait – kinda
>Add animal features
>MRW we do furry art

Mar 21, 2014 at 05:16PM EDT

I once accidentally threw a dime away with my lunch tray. I still haven’t forgotten, it’s been like 8 years.

Mar 21, 2014 at 05:54PM EDT

My AP Lang teacher is a cynical, sarcastic metrosexual Jew, which may be the the most bizarrely fantastic combination of traits on the face of the earth.

Mar 21, 2014 at 08:45PM EDT

>Be me

>Working in Chemistry Class

>Have a beaker of hydrochloric acid

>Working on science project with pennies in the acid

>Fire alarm goes off

>I get startled and drop the acid

>Burns through my pants

At least I got to take a shower at school.

Mar 21, 2014 at 09:43PM EDT

0.9999...=1 wrote:

My AP Lang teacher is a cynical, sarcastic metrosexual Jew, which may be the the most bizarrely fantastic combination of traits on the face of the earth.

Being one myself, I should say that it’s redundant to have “cynical, sarcastic” before “Jew”. Oy vey.
My school is pretty much the defining example of the achievement gap. It’s really sad.

Mar 21, 2014 at 09:47PM EDT

I once found 125 bucks in the change slot of the soda machine in highschool, I’m still 99% sure that I accidentally stole someone’s drug money dead drop

Mar 21, 2014 at 10:05PM EDT

Oh god, I got like a million of em…
>Be me
>Be 11
>Walking home from school
>Take a shortcut through a golf course tunnel
>Suddenly have to pee
>Can’t hold it and goes in some bushes
>Friend comes up and startles me halfway through getting it out of my pants
>Gets pee all over the front of my pants
>Tells him I need to do something
>Tells him it’s hot out
>Pours water on head and gets soaked
>Continues through the tunnel with friend

MFW he never figured out I pissed my pants

Last edited Mar 21, 2014 at 10:22PM EDT
Mar 21, 2014 at 10:20PM EDT

I’ve got a pretty recent one.
>Be in my Chemistry class
>Class is observing small explosions behind the safety of safety glass
>We convince our teacher to put in a large amount of the explosive solid into the liquid
>Big explosion (no one was hurt)
>Safety glass and overhead broke

Mar 21, 2014 at 10:33PM EDT

>Be me
>Be 15 years old
>In the bloody high school
>As always, full of douchebags and whores
>Chillin’ with mah bros
>One of them keeps talking about Next Gen COD and shit I dont care
>The other one is just sleeping in a desk right in front of us
>Belly hurts
>Wild wolf growls
>“Captain, the gas chamber is about to explode”
>Holy fuck, I can’t control the urge to release my ass’ toxins to the atmosphere
>Slowly leave my desk and pretend to do something inportant in the blackboard
>Neurotoxins released on ths sleepy’ beauty face
>Return with mah friend as if nothing happened
>The scent of the neurotoxins spreads all over the place
>Everyone blames the guy who was sleeping
>MFW not even fucking Solid Snake can outmatch the World sneakiest fart

Mar 21, 2014 at 10:39PM EDT

Be warned as this is

but it’s something I’ll never forget.

One time in grade school I was walking back to class. I got to the hall and saw this guy make a very calculated “wait a sec, dude” gesture before calmly puking more than I’ve ever seen anyone puke before.

He puked so much I started running. I ran down the hall, trying to outrun what I imagined was a vomit tsunami threatening to ruin my penny loafers.

I made it to class, told everyone to go see what happened – but he was gone. Leaving what looked like gallons of vomit behind.

Last edited Mar 21, 2014 at 11:33PM EDT
Mar 21, 2014 at 11:12PM EDT

>be in high school jazz band
>look over songs for winter concert
>Jerry Was a Race Car Driver among them
>ask band director what I could do
>he lets me sing
>he also lets me play the guitar solo

Best school concert ever, I tell ya what. I’ve also got a lot of football stories.

Mar 21, 2014 at 11:32PM EDT

More college than school but oh well

>In college obvs
>The breaktime of a boring day
>Me and the crew are sat in the cafeteria/recreational area,
>Everyone is screwing around on their phones, not much convo, pretty chill and quiet
>Hipster twats sat to our left on the other sofa some big chubbsy sorta girl sat on our right on a chair eating something
>Mate picks a pea off a plate that has been left on the table in front of us
>He nudges me
>He notions at the chubby girl
>I look
>Due to how she is sat (leaning forward) the crack of her arse is in full view
>He holds the pea like a dart
>I get the the gist
>“Do it”
>He throws the pea with precision
>Pea dunks straight down this girls asscrack like a finely tuned V2 rocket on a course for brown town
>The urge to laugh hits me like a thousand suns
>Girl scratches her crack
>Doesn’t even notice

Oh shit son, took a few days for that laughter fuel to burn out

Just remembered another

>In school
>Years ago
>Sports lesson
>Teacher is pretty cool and swole, he’s one of those relatable and trendy sorta teachers. A bruiser.
>He’s teaching us how to hold the Rugby ball properly
>He says
>“Hold it like how you hold a woman from behind, hands nice and high, around the best parts, ey ey hehehe” or something along those lines
>Fast forward a week later
>Lesson comes round again
>Cool teacher isn’t in today so a female teacher is going to cover for him and take the lesson
>Out on the field
>She asks
>“How do you hold the ball properly?”
>Some kid raises his hand
>She nods at him
>Shit son, shit….I know what’s coming
>“You hold it like…you hold a woman from behind”
>Teachers face goes sour
>“high up around the best parts”
>wtf r u doin, seriously why say that shit when the teacher is female
>Teacher goes spider-monkey at him

Unbelievable, Jeff

Mar 21, 2014 at 11:35PM EDT

Not me, but my brother and his friends do some pretty crazy stuff. It’s a very small private school, so they have a bit of a reputation. One time on a pizza day they got a chair on poles, wore costumes, and carried him into the pizza serving room and demanded free pizza (they got it from someone who already paid and was willing). More recently they set up a tire swing in the school basement/their locker room.

Mar 21, 2014 at 11:47PM EDT

>In middle school
>Walking home
>Sees some kid drop something out of his pocket
>Picks it up
>About to call to him that he dropped something
>Notices that it’s actually a pack full of weed
I’ve seriously never forgotten this

Mar 21, 2014 at 11:49PM EDT

Not really a “story” or anything. But I thought I might share it anyway.

This was way back when I was in elementary school.

One boring day, we decided that it was a good idea to play baseball in the school library with an orange, and a giant wooden antique porridge ladle as a bat. Places were pretty juicy after that, but we never got caught.

Oh the stupid things we did when we were kids…

…I would totally do it again if I got an orange and a wooden ladle though.

Mar 22, 2014 at 03:45AM EDT

Le Bumpkin wrote:

>Be me

>Working in Chemistry Class

>Have a beaker of hydrochloric acid

>Working on science project with pennies in the acid

>Fire alarm goes off

>I get startled and drop the acid

>Burns through my pants

At least I got to take a shower at school.

Once in Bio class, the teacher accidently lit a mixture on fire. The whole class was cheering.

Good times in Bio, we even watched the honey badger video.

Mar 22, 2014 at 12:20PM EDT

Once I burned the whole school kitchen (no, not canteen, real kitchen). I don’t know how I did it. I wasn’t in cooking class.

Mar 22, 2014 at 12:26PM EDT

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