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The current situation on this planet is… perplexing. Before I launch an attack, I shall observe. A clone or two should speed up the process…

The Seed is coming. This is merely the start of my conquest!

[Internal screaming at these events.]

And things were going so well, too. Now someone is here to conquer the world?

Anyone, I will pay you any price to stop this from escalating even further.

. . .

Sweetness.

so let's see
the doctor's "cure" turns people into zambies
and the stuff from "Mercer" turns people into zambies with superpowers
it doesn't take a supercomputer to figure out how this will end
re:masterburner
but can't you manipulate space to your will? i can't see why you would need someone else to do this

@coffeehaus

Yeah, I could also use any abilities form any game or book or whatever that I've finished. But, because of incidents in a similar reality, I'm not going to directly involve myself in issues.

I will, however, supply you with what you need and provide rewards upon successfully solving any incidents.

Eats everyone

Preliminary scans are… inconclusive at best.

This planet is not at peace, that's clear enough. Conditions could lead to the development of a Class 3 inter-continental conflict. This could prove to be beneficial, as It could be a good distraction to my presence. Of course, the ability to go invisible to multiple forms of detection helps also….

What has me concerned is the possible existence of a top-secret organization that has the possession of countless objects/bioforms. Some of these may contain anomalous properties as well. I must collect more data on this organization. They appear to be of importance.

There also seems to be persons who have psionic abilities. This society refers to it as "Magic" or "Superpowers". It's not foreign concept to me, as the Primals of Bryyo possessed similar abilities, as did the Chozo and Luminoth alike.

I must go check on the growth of the Seed back on Phaaze…

Good luck trying to reach a jet flying at mach 2

Research Notes No.1

Combining my cure and the Blacklight virus (the proper name of the virus from what Mercer has told me) at first showed no differences to how most of my patients react to my previous treatments, the patients first lose all vital signs only to then some time later have them completely return and the body reanimate, only without higher brain functions, the major flaw that has always plagued my cure. A few days have passed and the Blacklight virus has already begun to genetically alter the subjects. Unfortunately they still lack any form of higher brain functions, but have gained enhanced strength and endurance, an example quite amusingly shown when my temporary assistant tried to decapitate one of the subjects when he first saw them, he still complains to me about not receiving his pay, also they have developed different growths and other deformities on their bodies, all in all the results were interesting but not what I was expecting from this new treatment, but it's still the first stage of the experiment, maybe the later stages will show better results .

I just need alittle more Water….
Let's hope Those Army Morons wouldn't see me.

Wait…. "Similar events"? That explains where the others went. But not HOW I ended up here… But that taking over the world business doesn't sound good. I'd help out, but… yeah… you KNOW how ineffective I am alone. And it's likely that it could be immune to water damage…

someone needs to stop ze doctor
it's not gonna be me
i'm just a service robot
i'm just saying someone needs to do it and they need to do it now

#COME, MY FELLOW ESPURRS#
#WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY STUFF OR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW#
standing above the pile of espurrs

Hey, they look kind of adorable…

edges towards the pile slowly.

Nani sore.

I have no idea what you just said.

muffled hissing

Hey, take it easy, alright?

…Oh, this probably isn't helping.

sword vanishes

EVERYONE SHUT THE HECK UP I'M TRYING TO WARD!

Aww, look at that cute pile of kittens. It would be a shame if a fuel-air bomb dropped on them.

they are psychokinetic kittens, general, all they would do is throw the bomb right back
also isn't there a more important matter at hand

[kidnaps bulldozers]

I am truly a master of domination and a skillful rouge.

Hey those dozers are mine! Are you a Jarmen Kell wannabe or something?

Humvees, get out and take the dozers back!

"Check it, guys! I found a spell that makes me stretchy!"

Grabs all espurrs in a bag
I bet I'm gonna make millions off of these rare cats!

again, these are psychokinetic cats, it would be unadvised to do anything to them that they dislike
and still no one pays attention to thE fAcT thAt Ze DoCteR iS cREAtiNg sUpeR ZomBiEs tO taKe oVer thE wOrlD?

Col. Burton is already dealing with them

but i've heard "Mercer" took on an entire army
this is not good

Col. Burton is an one man army. With proper air-support that so-called "mercer" is screwed.

He even blew up a aircraft carrier, get caught in the blast and survived it.
By consuming a crow.

Research Notes No.2

As I thought the subjects have mutated again, this time three different types of mutated subjects. First ones appear to have developed massive deformities all over their bodies and well developed muscle mass, they've also developed a strange under-developed blade-like appendage on their arms, they seem to have a few differences in their appearance depending on who they were in life but in the end they all look alike to me.

The next ones I hesitate to say that they were once humans. These subjects have heavily mutated into large humanoid beasts with reddish, hairless skin, bulging muscles, sunken eyes and a lipless mouth. They bear a fitting resemblance to a shaved gorilla. Despite their grotesque appearance they are capable of incredible superhuman feats, like climbing up walls with ease, lifting heavy objects and flinging them with no visible trouble, jumping across vast distances, skin resilient enough to bounce off small caliber ammunition and sprinting in speeds that belies their sizes. They also possess incredible strength and razor sharp claws, powerful enough to destroy a larger group of solders and even a tank, a claim that I can make since I saw them do just that.

The last variants look even less human, appearing as snake-like creatures with a mouth that splits sideways and a tongue equipped with sharp teeth and they have a reddish exoskeleton. These creatures can burrow underground so to see the full form of these creatures is something most will never get the chance to see. Their behavior mostly consists of picking up larger objects and throwing them to anything they consider to be a threat.

All in all, none of them display any form of higher brain function but I have noticed that they are developing a sort of hive mind mentality among them. Also I've notice two other things. One is that some of the subjects are still mutating, into what I can't say. The other thing I have noticed is that I've spotted random patches of red pulsating biomass growing on the infrastructure of my laboratory. I will not lie that a part of me wants to destroy whatever it is that I am creating, but on the other hand I am both a man of science and medicine, and destroying something that can potentially save thousands of lives is something I cannot do, so the experiments must continue for a brighter future for humanity.

Ha! If I hide my tracks trull--

[falls down a well and dies]

Hey, leave them alone!

sword appears in hand, attempts to run the cartoon crab through with it

your thinking process greatly confuses me
and i'm a robot designed to analyse thought processes and turn them into my own
i'm seriously thinking there's something wrong with you

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I got bitten by a giant snake and half my face is missing.

oh ok

…

WaiT WhAT

Admirably done. I knew this was a journey you could make…
Over the unseen wall that divides Forum and Image Galleries.
And I was not wrong (Twiddles fingers), KNOW YOUR MEME!

Well you see, when I was younger my mother was serving a warlord and we thought we could sell some shitty secrets for cold hard cash. Badger bitch threw us out and took our information by force.

So upon our return, the warlord finds out and executes us with spears. I was lucky to hide in my mother's corpse and pretend to be dead and limp all the way to the abbey because I ain't leaving that phat lewt.

So in the process of looting, pretending to be sick and injured, I accidentally kill a old mouse with a candle holder and hide my ass in a tree trunk while Badger bitch goes around quite literally uplifting trees to find my ass. However, a giant snake was in the tree trunk I was hiding in and bit me.

Since then, I have been declaring my vengeance against the abbey for betraying me and giving me scars, because they wouldn't allow me to steal from them.

So I kidnapped their children and sold them into slavery.

That'll show them.

Hah that's nothin' I destroyed the whole Nod main base, detonated a big tiberium bomb and attracted the scrin to our world and I didn't do anything else than pressed a button.

Ohh. It seems GDI reinforcements just arrived today! I hope Commander Kori have sniper teams so can use them as spotters for my tomahawk launchers.

no offence, but did that snake happen to bite off a small portion of your brain?

Imagine an Espurr doing an evil laugh:

Graduated from the best.

Well, any room for Papa Het in this thread?

Ha! Classic!

I use my trap card, hah!

:>

Tweet tweet.

I'm not a bird, but I may as well be. X is a variable and you choose my destiny.

huh
so i can make you into anything?
X now stands for robot
i now have a new robot friend
yey