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Greentext Stories - Images (259 results)

Anon preserves his virginity

Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me wwSirdcator 575 KB JPG they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity
Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me wwSirdcator 575 KB JPG they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Canadian Geese Origin

>>41920198 Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:58:24 No.41921539 41923267 Ahriman was the god of literal pure evil and darkness from Zoro >41920312 The religion of Canada is a simple one We are kind and peaceful people. We harbor no ill towards anyone. And we can achieve this state of bliss because every time a Canadian is born, a Canada Goose is born with them. The two are paired forever. For every ounce of peace and happiness a Canadian has. The Canada goose has equal hate. Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:05:30 No.41920312 File: Spoiler Image (61 KB, 300x200) 41921539 Let's be honest, there is only one thing that is truly born evil in this world, one thing that exists only to beget suffering in others and eternal torment in those it's path crosses. they are simply beings of hatred IN THE BEGINNING, THE PEOPLE OF CANADA WERE AN EVIL RACE i hate you with every fiber of my being THE REASON CANADIANS ARE SO NICE IS EASILY EXPLAINED. ONCE A YEAR, ON THE SIXTH FULL MOON, ALL CANADIANS GATHER TOGETHER BENEATH THE STARS TO PERFORM A RITUAL THAT SUCKS OUT ALL OF THEIR MEANNESS AND CRUELTY ... AND PLACES IT INTO CANADA GEESE. THEN A GREAT WIZARD NAMED TIM HORTON COLLECTED ALL THEIR RAGEAND CAST IT INTO THE CANADIAN GOOSE Like Share O Comment 1 AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER EXCEPT FOR THE GEESE, THEYRESTILL P----- You know how Canadians are so nice? It's because all our negative thoughts and feelings are collected until theres enough to form a Canadian goose. That's where Canadian geese come mgilp.com A from Like Reply Just now isn't that just the plot of The Dark Crystal?
>>41920198 Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:58:24 No.41921539 41923267 Ahriman was the god of literal pure evil and darkness from Zoro >41920312 The religion of Canada is a simple one We are kind and peaceful people. We harbor no ill towards anyone. And we can achieve this state of bliss because every time a Canadian is born, a Canada Goose is born with them. The two are paired forever. For every ounce of peace and happiness a Canadian has. The Canada goose has equal hate. Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:05:30 No.41920312 File: Spoiler Image (61 KB, 300x200) 41921539 Let's be honest, there is only one thing that is truly born evil in this world, one thing that exists only to beget suffering in others and eternal torment in those it's path crosses. they are simply beings of hatred IN THE BEGINNING, THE PEOPLE OF CANADA WERE AN EVIL RACE i hate you with every fiber of my being THE REASON CANADIANS ARE SO NICE IS EASILY EXPLAINED. ONCE A YEAR, ON THE SIXTH FULL MOON, ALL CANADIANS GATHER TOGETHER BENEATH THE STARS TO PERFORM A RITUAL THAT SUCKS OUT ALL OF THEIR MEANNESS AND CRUELTY ... AND PLACES IT INTO CANADA GEESE. THEN A GREAT WIZARD NAMED TIM HORTON COLLECTED ALL THEIR RAGEAND CAST IT INTO THE CANADIAN GOOSE Like Share O Comment 1 AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER EXCEPT FOR THE GEESE, THEYRESTILL P----- You know how Canadians are so nice? It's because all our negative thoughts and feelings are collected until theres enough to form a Canadian goose. That's where Canadian geese come mgilp.com A from Like Reply Just now isn't that just the plot of The Dark Crystal?

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Ah yes

773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES
773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES

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Anon discovers his sexuality

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread
Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread

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Anon Is a Snitch

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god

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Kobold Religion

Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting
Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting

Greentext Stories

/co/ versus the yeerks

Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.
Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.

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Anon Loves His Dad

Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread
Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread

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Anon does the right thing

Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

Greentext Stories

Lesbian anon helps a friend, learns she may be bi

Anonymous 36 minutes ago 1157d2508d156b79213bcdaefa9fccAcfb5e2b9thq.gif (865.8 KB, 500x281) 20497629 anon's help a girl out be me female >19 short, but dont let it get to me >lesbian >help a male friend move out have trouble lifting a box (Its super small so its sort of embarassing) hes 6'6 and super ripped >picks it up and chuckles for a second pats me on head >suddenlyverywet.jpg I THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN, IVE ONLY DATED GIRLS, HELP ME WHAT DO I DO 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 36 minutes ago 1157d2508d156b79213bcdaefa9fccAcfb5e2b9thq.gif (865.8 KB, 500x281) 20497629 anon's help a girl out be me female >19 short, but dont let it get to me >lesbian >help a male friend move out have trouble lifting a box (Its super small so its sort of embarassing) hes 6'6 and super ripped >picks it up and chuckles for a second pats me on head >suddenlyverywet.jpg I THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN, IVE ONLY DATED GIRLS, HELP ME WHAT DO I DO 2 REPLIES

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Anon dunks on THOTs

Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)18:23:45 No.49234214 This one still hurts me at the university basketball court shooting hoops with some friends free time for basketball ends, yoga class about to start all the yoga qts file into the gym me being the tall, athletic, cocky son of a 139 KB JPG gun that I am, start throwing down dunks to impress the ladies two girls that I know approach me "hey anon. Let's make a bet. If you go up for a dunk and miss, you have to take my friend here on a date" qt friend giggles and smiles agree, think to myself "f---, like I would ever miss a dunk Especially in front of my boys" everyone watching now go up and throw down one of my best tomahawk slams my friends go nuts girls look at me sad and confused walk up and awkwardly say "sorry, I don't miss dunkS they don't say anything, just walk away mfw I realize I was supposed to miss it on purpose Neither of them talked to me again JD >>49234236 # >:49234263 # 〉:49234298 # >>49234317 # >>49234412 # >:49234481 # >:49234664 # 〉:49234704 # >>49234739 # >:49234806 # >:49234817 # >:49234851 # >:49234921 #
Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)18:23:45 No.49234214 This one still hurts me at the university basketball court shooting hoops with some friends free time for basketball ends, yoga class about to start all the yoga qts file into the gym me being the tall, athletic, cocky son of a 139 KB JPG gun that I am, start throwing down dunks to impress the ladies two girls that I know approach me "hey anon. Let's make a bet. If you go up for a dunk and miss, you have to take my friend here on a date" qt friend giggles and smiles agree, think to myself "f---, like I would ever miss a dunk Especially in front of my boys" everyone watching now go up and throw down one of my best tomahawk slams my friends go nuts girls look at me sad and confused walk up and awkwardly say "sorry, I don't miss dunkS they don't say anything, just walk away mfw I realize I was supposed to miss it on purpose Neither of them talked to me again JD >>49234236 # >:49234263 # 〉:49234298 # >>49234317 # >>49234412 # >:49234481 # >:49234664 # 〉:49234704 # >>49234739 # >:49234806 # >:49234817 # >:49234851 # >:49234921 #

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So this is the reason there is so much magic girl animes

File: confused-reaction-face-gif.gif (339 KB, 500x318) Anomymous 01/14/19(Mon)21.01:53 No.64057087 64057103 64057110 6405711664057150 64057200 6405720864057279 64057385 64057390 64057400 64057450 64057464 64057621 64057 64057711 64057759 64058002 64053008 64058489 64058553 264058611 >male wizards are depicted as old men >female wizards are depicted as young and beautiful women S Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)21:02-52 No.54057103 64057162 64057260 264059406 64057087 COP) Female wizards make themselves look hot with magic Male wizards make themselves look wise with magic Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)23:47:28 No.64059406 64057103 Youve got it all wrong. Female wizards make themselves look like crazy old men to be left alone and get to do whatever they want. Male wizards make themselves into hot girls because thirty years of virginity has turned them into degenerates.
File: confused-reaction-face-gif.gif (339 KB, 500x318) Anomymous 01/14/19(Mon)21.01:53 No.64057087 64057103 64057110 6405711664057150 64057200 6405720864057279 64057385 64057390 64057400 64057450 64057464 64057621 64057 64057711 64057759 64058002 64053008 64058489 64058553 264058611 >male wizards are depicted as old men >female wizards are depicted as young and beautiful women S Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)21:02-52 No.54057103 64057162 64057260 264059406 64057087 COP) Female wizards make themselves look hot with magic Male wizards make themselves look wise with magic Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)23:47:28 No.64059406 64057103 Youve got it all wrong. Female wizards make themselves look like crazy old men to be left alone and get to do whatever they want. Male wizards make themselves into hot girls because thirty years of virginity has turned them into degenerates.

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The future is now, old man

>year 2020 >trump is re-elected Simmediately declares war on Vietnam >Vietnam war 2.0 >thousands of GenZ kids are drafted into the military 64 KB JPG A few months later... >be rice farmer in Vietnam >start hearing Lil Yaughty playing in the distance to the sounds of rotary engines helicopters start flying over me Gucci gang starts blasting from the helicopter speakers >whole f----- area around me gets napalmed >choppers drop off enemy troops >get smoked by a 17 year old with a pickle Rick sticker on the side of his helmet >he does the Fortnite dance over my body then yeets me into a bush
>year 2020 >trump is re-elected Simmediately declares war on Vietnam >Vietnam war 2.0 >thousands of GenZ kids are drafted into the military 64 KB JPG A few months later... >be rice farmer in Vietnam >start hearing Lil Yaughty playing in the distance to the sounds of rotary engines helicopters start flying over me Gucci gang starts blasting from the helicopter speakers >whole f----- area around me gets napalmed >choppers drop off enemy troops >get smoked by a 17 year old with a pickle Rick sticker on the side of his helmet >he does the Fortnite dance over my body then yeets me into a bush

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Anon hates his cousin

1 Anonymous #665681321 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of course, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >I get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >I'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone 10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down l-l j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand >HRW I respond "T'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and dessert you Haven't seen em since
1 Anonymous #665681321 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of course, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >I get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >I'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone 10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down l-l j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand >HRW I respond "T'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and dessert you Haven't seen em since

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Anon goes to a comic convention

Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)21:02:32 No.429680034 >be me 18 year old >go to a comic convention >go to a cosplay competition dressed as a doom fighter 193 KB PNG next to me is a samus cosplayer very hot so I take of my helmet she takes off her helmet 9/10 we have a conversation she invites me to her home sexytime.jpg >she plays a loop of f-zero music have sex to it clean up mfw she savs to me that she is 25 mfw she said that her roommate should be here mtw T hear someone fapping in the corner
Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)21:02:32 No.429680034 >be me 18 year old >go to a comic convention >go to a cosplay competition dressed as a doom fighter 193 KB PNG next to me is a samus cosplayer very hot so I take of my helmet she takes off her helmet 9/10 we have a conversation she invites me to her home sexytime.jpg >she plays a loop of f-zero music have sex to it clean up mfw she savs to me that she is 25 mfw she said that her roommate should be here mtw T hear someone fapping in the corner

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Anon is fake, gay and autistic

Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 slove having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being デくプ hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 slove having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being デくプ hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Tard booth

File: 1531618253472 jpg (83 KB, 726x1024) Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:25:18 No.774366276 >be in grade school with this kid >f------ hated this one kid with a passion getting asked questions by a teacher swe both raise our hands at the same time >teacher tells me I'm up >answer >as soon as I sit down kid yells "HE STOLE MY ANSWER!" >wanted to punch him in the f------ face >he did this every single time I would answer a question >started answering them wrong on steacher asks the class why volcanoes erupt >she calls on him >yell out "volcanic gases buildup" >he just looks at me >starts talking about volcanic gases purpose just to f--- with him >teacher tells him that it was incorrect >he starts crying and blaming me >he starts throwing a fit >teacher tells him to calm down >when he doesn't calm down, teacher tries to take him to the tard booth >he fights her >she subdues him with an arm lock and forces him in the tard booth, slamming the metal bar down, locking him in he starts screaming and crying, pounding on the door, begging her to let him out >she doesn't >mfw I hear his agonized screams and imagine him sitting alone in the dark in a padded box with no way out >he starts spitting on the peak hole to the booth >few minutes go by, he stops making noise >suddenly hear him yell "I POOPED IN HERE, NOW YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUT!!" >he actually took a s--- in the tard bootlh >gets suspended n ne can usoh for3 dayPOOPED IN HERE NOW YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUTIN Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:39:30 No.7743673302774367629 Ps File (5 KB, 250x236) tard booth Ps Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:39:49 No.774367362774367629 Tard booth? What the f---. Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:43:28 No.774367629 774367330 P> I'm guessing it's a little specially-built (no pun intended) padded room to restrain the tard in Ps Anonymous 07/14/18 (Sat)23:44:16 No.774367677 File: oUCWYEQ ipg (407 KB, 2000x2000) 774366 tard booth Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:46:16 No.774367807 The story of the log poster The story of the log poster Ps Anonymous 07/14/18 (Sat)23:46:53 No.774367846 File: retard.ipg (529 KB, 2448x3264) 774366
File: 1531618253472 jpg (83 KB, 726x1024) Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:25:18 No.774366276 >be in grade school with this kid >f------ hated this one kid with a passion getting asked questions by a teacher swe both raise our hands at the same time >teacher tells me I'm up >answer >as soon as I sit down kid yells "HE STOLE MY ANSWER!" >wanted to punch him in the f------ face >he did this every single time I would answer a question >started answering them wrong on steacher asks the class why volcanoes erupt >she calls on him >yell out "volcanic gases buildup" >he just looks at me >starts talking about volcanic gases purpose just to f--- with him >teacher tells him that it was incorrect >he starts crying and blaming me >he starts throwing a fit >teacher tells him to calm down >when he doesn't calm down, teacher tries to take him to the tard booth >he fights her >she subdues him with an arm lock and forces him in the tard booth, slamming the metal bar down, locking him in he starts screaming and crying, pounding on the door, begging her to let him out >she doesn't >mfw I hear his agonized screams and imagine him sitting alone in the dark in a padded box with no way out >he starts spitting on the peak hole to the booth >few minutes go by, he stops making noise >suddenly hear him yell "I POOPED IN HERE, NOW YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUT!!" >he actually took a s--- in the tard bootlh >gets suspended n ne can usoh for3 dayPOOPED IN HERE NOW YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUTIN Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:39:30 No.7743673302774367629 Ps File (5 KB, 250x236) tard booth Ps Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:39:49 No.774367362774367629 Tard booth? What the f---. Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:43:28 No.774367629 774367330 P> I'm guessing it's a little specially-built (no pun intended) padded room to restrain the tard in Ps Anonymous 07/14/18 (Sat)23:44:16 No.774367677 File: oUCWYEQ ipg (407 KB, 2000x2000) 774366 tard booth Anonymous 07/14/18(Sat)23:46:16 No.774367807 The story of the log poster The story of the log poster Ps Anonymous 07/14/18 (Sat)23:46:53 No.774367846 File: retard.ipg (529 KB, 2448x3264) 774366

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Workout

Anonymous 07/27/18(Fri)07:19:56 No.47018323 tfw pretty sure I am the joke of my gym The first few times I went, I went wearing a T Shirt with a picture of Scooby Doo, then I went without realising the next few times with 170 KB PNG a T Shirt with a picture of Shaggy. People noticed and started calling me 'The Mystery Machine'. tfw didn't know what to do ended up buying several shirts with different members of the Scooby Doo gang (Fred, Daphne, Scrappy etc) on them, and now I always wear them at the gym all of the exercises I do are related to solving mysteries >for example my 'cardio is to run in one of the front doors then run through the back of the gym and come through a back door, like I am Scooby and the Gang running from a monster through the different doors Instead of deadlifts I do Jinkies Jacks' where l lift the bar until it is too heavy then loudly say Jinkies' and drop it always wear a zombie mask that I pull off between sets I can't stop because people really like it, and I don't want to become hated, but I am making no gains 47
Anonymous 07/27/18(Fri)07:19:56 No.47018323 tfw pretty sure I am the joke of my gym The first few times I went, I went wearing a T Shirt with a picture of Scooby Doo, then I went without realising the next few times with 170 KB PNG a T Shirt with a picture of Shaggy. People noticed and started calling me 'The Mystery Machine'. tfw didn't know what to do ended up buying several shirts with different members of the Scooby Doo gang (Fred, Daphne, Scrappy etc) on them, and now I always wear them at the gym all of the exercises I do are related to solving mysteries >for example my 'cardio is to run in one of the front doors then run through the back of the gym and come through a back door, like I am Scooby and the Gang running from a monster through the different doors Instead of deadlifts I do Jinkies Jacks' where l lift the bar until it is too heavy then loudly say Jinkies' and drop it always wear a zombie mask that I pull off between sets I can't stop because people really like it, and I don't want to become hated, but I am making no gains 47

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Fiber diets are hell

File: RwOzn7Q.ipg (211 KB, 750x738) Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.69976327922599763515 22599763682 be fat go to fit and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars sthe first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks -i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more -i dont s--- that day either fiber jesus is surely working his magic n my colon -can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 tho i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that famillar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling Pjust a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smels like grandpapas coffin pno sound other than the whlstling hiss >suddenly stops the hole is plugged >SOS sthis s--- is so solid It feels like I'm glving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray sthe rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed my entire ass is covered in toilet water now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >wasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat pafter an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass ecompletely clean
File: RwOzn7Q.ipg (211 KB, 750x738) Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.69976327922599763515 22599763682 be fat go to fit and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars sthe first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks -i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more -i dont s--- that day either fiber jesus is surely working his magic n my colon -can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 tho i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that famillar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling Pjust a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smels like grandpapas coffin pno sound other than the whlstling hiss >suddenly stops the hole is plugged >SOS sthis s--- is so solid It feels like I'm glving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray sthe rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed my entire ass is covered in toilet water now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >wasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat pafter an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass ecompletely clean

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4chan defeats the cybermen

Basically this scene but with more REEEing. https://youtu.be/VXe9C3nZxxY?t=180.
Basically this scene but with more REEEing. https://youtu.be/VXe9C3nZxxY?t=180.

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