It's Not Gay Unless
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About
"It's not gay if…" Is a phrasal template in which the author claims that homosexual sex is heterosexual, or otherwise doesn't count as gay under certain conditions.
Notable examples
"It's not gay unless balls are touching" is one of the Rules of the Internet, in some versions of the copypasta.
"3-Way (Golden Rule) is a comedy song released by Lonely Island, Justin Timberlake, and Lady Gaga in 2011. The song's chorus features the phrase "it's not gay if it's in a three way"
"It's not ghey if it's on the moon" is a sentence spoken through the Moonbase Alpha voice simulator in Rooster Teeth's Lets Play of Moonbase Alpha. The phrase was originally written as "it's not gay if it's on the moon" however Moonbase Alpha's censors forced the author to change it.
"It's not gay if it's underway" is a saying about the Navy that insists that homosexual activities don't count at sea. Often paired with "It's only queer at the pier" or "It's straight if it's with a shipmate" the phrase pokes fun at the lack of straight sexual opportunities on a ship at sea. The phrase online dates back to at least 2005 but it is likely that the actual phrase is much older offline.
Origin
The phrase began on 4chan, though the original thread is probably long gone. However, there are many places that reference the phrase's origin. On the DTTW Table Tennis Forum in early September 2006, someone said the phrase and asked the OP if they were "/b/rothers."
On November 13, 2006, someone posted a lengthy copypasta of the Rules of the Internet to their blog, directly attributing it to 4chan. In this version, rule 57 out of 88 is "If balls are touching, it is gay."
The phrase did not appear on Urban Dictionary until January 2007.
In the version of the Rules on the Rules Of The Internet wiki, Rule 57 is "You will never have sex." There is no reference to balls touching in this version.
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