Shrekking / Shrekked

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About

Shrekking is a slang term describing the act of lowering your dating standards and going out with someone that you find unattractive in the hopes that they will treat you well, which notably references the character Shrek. Getting Shrekked is a related term describing the act of still getting hurt or feeling disappointed by the person for whom you lowered your standards. The term was popularized in August 2025 on TikTok by the person who seemingly coined it, TikToker @jaxitodwyer. It inspired discourse in early September 2025, with some describing the trend as toxic and hurtful. The term is considered by some to be a forced meme due to how it was mainly pushed and started by its creator, rather than organic usage (similar to the term cheugy in 2021).

Origin

On August 7th, 2025, TikToker^[1] @jaxitodwyer posted a video in which he claims that every pretty woman he knows has been traumatized by someone who either looks like Shrek or Lord Farquaad, garnering over 779,000 views in a month.

@jaxitodwyer
What your ex looks like

♬ original sound – jaxitodwyer

August 8th, the same TikToker^[2] posted a video defining the term "Shrek'd," claiming that it's a new term going around, defined as the act of getting traumatized by someone who looks like Shrek or Farquaad, garnering over 795,000 views in a month. However, the term did not seem to be "going around" at the time.

@jaxitodwyer
Did you get shrekked?

♬ original sound – jaxitodwyer

Spread

The trend and slang slowly spread on TikTok throughout August 2025 as people copycatted TikToker@jaxitodwyer's video and it garnered media coverage.^[8]

For example, on August 9th, 2025, TikToker^[3] @thisiswhyimsingle2024 posted a video sharing the same information as @jaxitodwyer, garnering around 9,000 views in a month.

@thisiswhyimsingle2024 Getting shreked. I’m here for it 🤣 #shreked #onlinedating #datingsucks ♬ original sound – Bekah

On August 21st, USA Today^[4] published an article on "Shrekking," describing it as a new Gen Z dating term, directly linking to @thisiswhyimsingle2024's video as an example. The article features a quote from dating coach Amy Chan, who is quoted as saying:

Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating "down" in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better.

On August 22nd, 2025, Primetimer^[5] reported on it, followed by LADBible^[6] on August 31st, who titled the piece, "‘Shrekking’ is the new dating trend that’s actually an insult to you."

On September 1st, TikToker^[7] @trevonwoodburyy posted a video about Shrekking, claiming he's done it before and that the partners are always "terrible," garnering over 60,000 views in a day.

@trevonwoodburyy
my last ex was fine but i was the shrek

♬ original sound – trévon

Various Examples

@9news Have you ever been ‘shrekked’? #shrek #shrekislove #dating #9News ♬ original sound – 9News Australia

@thatmoderndadlife Shrekking. It’s the newest dating trend everyone is talking about on TikTok -- and it’s as messy as it sounds. If you’ve ever lowered your standards thinking it would protect you from heartbreak, you’ve already lived it. Shrekking happens when someone intentionally dates “down” -- choosing a partner they aren’t really attracted to, inspired by, or aligned with -- because they believe it will keep them safe. The idea is simple: if I’m with someone below my league, they’ll never leave me. No risk, no rejection, no heartbreak… right? Wrong. The reality is brutal. Instead of safety, you get resentment. Instead of connection, you get control. And control doesn’t create love. It creates distance. What starts as a plan to protect yourself ends up being the very reason the relationship falls apart. The person you thought would never leave? They leave anyway. And the pain hits even harder because deep down, you knew you settled. That’s the dark side of Shrekking: you think you’re outsmarting heartbreak, but you’re only guaranteeing it. Real love requires risk. It requires vulnerability. It requires you to step into relationships with honesty, standards, and self-respect -- not fear disguised as strategy. Dating “down” to feel secure will never protect you. The only real protection is trusting yourself enough to hold your standards high and wait for a partner who meets you there. So if you’re tempted to Shrek yourself, stop. Don’t play small. Don’t hide behind control. Date in a way that lifts you, not a way that shrinks you. Because heartbreak is inevitable when you betray your own worth. #fyp #foryou #tiktok #datingadvice #creatorsearchinsights ♬ MILLION DOLLAR BABY (VHS) – Tommy Richman

@gaberocksssss Shreking is for anyone who is really traumatized #fyp #shrek #shrekislove #dating #shrekking ♬ original sound – Gaberockss

@sipofcomfort "Shrekking" is a viral dating trend where a person intentionally dates someone they don't find physically attractive, hoping this person will treat them better or provide a "safer" relationship free from the perceived challenges of dating more conventionally attractive individuals. Named after the character Shrek from the animated film, this trend is considered toxic by experts because it treats partners like a "risk shield" rather than a person, often backfiring and leading to resentment, unmet expectations, and negative impacts on mental health. #vocabulary #Communication #pronounciation #ESL #fluency ♬ original sound – Evolve With Swaty