Postmates Truly Commits To Pride Month Promotion, Introduces 'Bottom-Friendly' Menu

If you thought you'd seen the height of corporate Pride Month weirdness when Burger King Austria introduced its 'same bun' burgers, we envy your naiveté, because food delivery app Postmates has outdone itself for both the LGBTQ+ community and lovers of cringe everywhere.

The app recently revealed its "Eat With Pride" promotion, whose major selling point is a "bottom-friendly menu" — a menu specifically designed for bottoms in queer relationships.

You shouldn't miss a good meal for a good time. That’s why this Pride, we've teamed up with DrEvanGoldstein</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/smartthrob?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">smartthrob to create the world’s first Bottom-Friendly Menu (yup, it’s real). #EatWithPride pic.twitter.com/03Fm8YJlAP

— postmates (Postmates) June 9, 2022

How might a menu be designed for bottoms, you might ask? To put it bluntly, the menu suggests food for people who like to be penetrated during anal sex without leaving feces marks on their partner's genitalia, aka painting.

Of course, the Postmates ad doesn't explain in that level of detail what their "bottom-friendly" menu is for, but the message is loud and clear to many.

"If you're a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want," the ad states. "But if you're a bottom, you're expected to starve? Not this Pride!"

For those curious, white rice, citrus and fish are among the foods included on the bottom-friendly menu because they have soluble fiber and protein, which digest easily and slowly, whereas foods like grains and legumes should be avoided by bottoms because they contain insoluble fiber, meaning they dissolve less quickly in water.

So, how did the internet take a food delivery app creating a menu specifically for the purpose of encouraging clean anal sex? About as you'd expect.

I have seen the PostMates video for Pride and I have decided to only use UberEats from now on.

— CH (@chertz) June 9, 2022

Ordering off the Bottom-Friendly Menu and fоrcing the Postmates delivery driver to eat it in front of me at guпpоint as he slowly realizes what's coming next https://t.co/Vn1Lctk6ed

— Emo Garfield (@emo_garfield420) June 9, 2022

i’m suing postmates if i paint after eating from this menu pic.twitter.com/yHYxQrGSte

— Grindr (@Grindr) June 9, 2022

Respect to Postmates for just fucking breaking EVERYONE with this.

I aspire to this level of brand fuckery. https://t.co/RiUeRNwc34

— qdot (@qDot) June 9, 2022

For what it's worth, the concept was designed by LGBTQ+ members of the Postmates staff, and the app will be donating towards The Okra Project (a foundation for Black trans youth) during Pride Month. If nothing else, they have certainly taught people outside the LGBTQ/anal-sex-having community the work (and food) that goes into making for a happy, mess-free experience for all parties involved.

Exactly. We're tired of heterosexual sex being the main focus of sexual education. Homosexual sex, specifically bottoming, is all too often omitted and stigmatized. Not this year. Happy Pride!

— postmates (Postmates) June 9, 2022