Security Robot Drowns Itself, Prompting Twitter Investigation

Steve the Robot seemed to be living an idyllic life. Designed and built by the Silicon Valley startup Knightscope Inc. in 2014, the five-foot-tall android had just begun his new job as a security guard in the halls of MRP Realty’s headquarters in Washington D.C. He made friends with all he met, and was loved by all. But on Sunday, Steve was discovered motionless and face down in a fountain, never to enforce security in MRP Realty again.

It is a sad tale, that of a robot brought into this life only to seemingly decide in the span of a week that it wanted no part of it. “What is my purpose?” one imagines Steve asking. “You roam a large facility in Washington D.C. and work in real estate,” his creator would respond, to which Steve, struck with the mind-numbing banality of his life, would let out a soft “Oh my god…”

But Steve's mysterious death by drowning has the internet wondering: was it suicide? Or could it have been… murder?

When the internet discovered Steve in a fountain on Monday, jokes abounded as Twitter's amateur comedians brought out their C material.

But while many Twitter users yucked it up over the loss of Steve, there is evidence suggesting something much more foul transpired. While Knightscope's statement to The Daily Dot assures the public that what happened to Steve did not involve humans, Knightscope notably did not rule out robots. One tweet connected Steve's death to a rival robot in the building whose sole function is to print short stories.

WHAT DID THE STORY SAY? pic.twitter.com/FjTcE9GM1S

— mark mcbride (@mccv) July 17, 2017

Did a silver-tongued robot drive Steve to suicide? At this point, it can not be ruled out, but it's likely the authorities have let this case grow cold. A new robot will be shipped to MP Realty free of charge to take over Steve's post. It better watch its back.