Yesterday, following a week that featured Jeffrey Toobin's Zoom Dick Scandal and Rudy Giuliani getting caught with his hand down his pants in Borat 2, YouTuber and prominent Twitter personality Cody Johnston tweeted, "These things happen in threes. There will be another dick incident." Three hours, he replied to the tweet with his answer: the Twitter account for U.S. Army base Fort Bragg had gotten very horny on main.
The Fort Bragg account was caught replying multiple times to OnlyFans creator Quinn Finite with some relatively sweet simping, defending her pubic hair and pledging that U.S. Army base Fort Bragg and its erection would rise from her crotch to give her a "deep long kiss."
Fort Bragg at first attempted to defend itself by saying its account had been "hacked," but few bought the story; it's difficult to imagine a hacker breaking into a military Twitter account to reply guy a sex worker.
Sure enough, the following day, the official Twitter account for the Fort Bragg-based XVIII Airborne Corps confirmed what most of the internet already suspected: the tweets were sent from an admin who was getting horny on the wrong account.
This morning, at the initiation of an investigation into yesterday’s incident regarding inappropriate tweets on the Fort Bragg Twitter account, an administrator for the account identified himself as the source of the tweets. Appropriate action is underway.
— XVIII Airborne Corps (@18airbornecorps) October 22, 2020
The Fort Bragg account is currently deactivated after it reported a hack. Nevertheless, its horniness lived on in screenshots and in tweets of people having a field day with the gaffe.
thank u US Army Garrison Fort Bragg pic.twitter.com/pK49oOjEAC
— Dr. Strategy (tenured, unremovable) (@inthesedeserts) October 21, 2020
so I guess the answer was Fort Bragg https://t.co/ztHWLQ2E65
— Ben Mekler (@benmekler) October 21, 2020
solemnly paying respects at the tomb of the horny poster at fort bragg
— jordan (@JordanUhl) October 21, 2020
fort bragg nuked its twitter account for horny posting, a shameful display of weakness to America's enemies
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) October 21, 2020
There's still roughly a day and a half in this week, meaning this week might have yet another horny scandal in it yet.
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