Welp, might even post what the hell that small text means:

= The Virgin Happy Holidays =
-"cmon guys we have to be politically correct"
-"Kwanzaa and Hanukkah are holidays too…"
-respects all holiday traditions
-reads Buzzfeed and HuffPost articles unironically
-"you know Jesus was a refugee right?"
-"Santa is an old white man"
-"We don't want to offend anyone"
"Christians had their time"
-thinks winter solstice is festive
-"but… but… cultural appropriation"
-"elf labor is slave labor"

= The Chad Merry Christmas =
-"lol candles and tops? seriously?"
-Light displays ftw
-Decorating pine trees
-Calling (?) and spreading joy
-MAGA
-Only needs one day of celebration
-Get all your gifts in one day
-doesn't need a starbucks cup design
-Capitalism and commercialism at it's finest
-Has all the best movies and music
-Jesus is the reason for the season (?)

the (?) are for words that are so pixaleted that I am not even sure what the hell they even mean, so here is an approximation with "Calling" and "season".

Good job posting that thumb nail you saved now no one can read it