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STReNGTH AS AN EMPLOYEE? WWHAT IS YOUR GREATESTI AM WILLING- TO PERFORM SERVICES GE FOR CURRENCY IN EXCHAN WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST/ REQUIRE SHELTER AND CALORIES TO MAINTAIN eXISTENCE AND THUS, I MUST PERFORM SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY. WEAKNESS? WHY ARE YOU INTERESTEDTHIS COMPANY PAYS IN WORKING AT THIS CURRENCY IN EXCHAN COMPANY IN PARTICULAR? FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF SERVICES WHERE DO YOU SEE/ PERFORMING COMPARABLE OURSE F IN FIVE YEARS? SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE CURRENCY. YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S START OVER, OKAY? ER EAR NOW, JUST BE HONEST IN THIS JOB INTERVIEW он. wow REALLY? Smbc-comics.com

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FASTER, PAPA, FASTER! HA! OKAY SWEET PEA! THIS IS THE BEST DAY! I'M GONNA REMEMBER THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Later, it turned out the people in the comic were just pictures, without any past or any future. Less than dead, they never were.

"How come there are all these initial public offerings but never a final public offering?"

"Depending on which AI becomes Skynet, you might also be able to have a suit with banal political questions"

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evolution

ALL SPACEFARING SPECIES GOT THEIR INTELLIGENCE DURING A BRIEF EVOLUTIONARY PHASE IN WHICHしARGER, MORE POWERFUし BRAINS WERE SELECTED FOR THIS ECOしOGICAし CONFIGURATION IS SO RARE THAT IT SE DOM OCCURS MORE THAN ONCE PER PLANET SOWE'RE SPECIA , HUMANS AREN'T JUST SPECIAL YOURE UNIQUE BIPEDALISM CREATES A TRADE-OFF BETWEEN RUNNING ABILITY AND SIZE OF CRANIUM THAT CAN FIT THROUGH A FEMALE'S HIPS AT BIRTH NATURE GAVE HUMANS SAPIENCE OF A KIND SHARED WITH ALL MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT THEN CAPPED yOUR MENTAしEXPANSION DUE TO BUTT SIZE CONSTRAINTS YOUR INABILITY TO DENY YOUR LOVE OF BIG BUTTS IS THE VOICE OF EVOLUTIONLONG SINCE REDUCED TO A DAMPENING ECHO, BEGGING YOU TO GIVE IT ENOUGH ROOM TO FULFILL ITS GREATEST DESTINY! , BUT, THE EVOLUTIONARYAND THAT IS WHY THERE'S NEVER WINDOW IS CLOSED BUTTS HELD THEIR GROUND. BRAINS しANGUISHED BEEN AN APE FARTHER OUT EARTH THAN THE MOON AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS BUDGET STUFF mbc-comics.com

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science prank

PRANK IDEA: TELL A POLITICIAN ABOUT A CLASSIC SCIENTIFIC PROJECT AS IF IT'S WASTEFUL SPENDING THEN, WATCH THEM GO ON TV AND THEY WANNA TAKE CONPOX AND INJECT IT INTO PEOPLE TO SEE IF IT MAKES THEM HEALTHY! RIDICULOUS OUTRAGEOUS THEY THINK WE OUGHTA PAY SOME WOMAN IN PARIS FRANCE TO STIR DIRT TO SEE IF IT STARTS GLOWING THIS IS YOUR MONey AMERICA 3 S0, WE'RE GONNA SEND A BRITISH TWENTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD TO LOOK AT FINCH BEAKS AND SEE IF THEYRE DIFFERENT THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS THE GOVERNMENT ANYMORE mbc-com.cs.com

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oxford comma

"T凵ERE ARE TWO TyPES OF PEOPLE THOSE WHO LIKE THE OXFORD COMMA, MORONS AND PEDANTS.

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adverbially

DID YOU REALLY, ACTUALuy, SERIOUSLY, UTTERLY, COMPLETELY FORGET THE STOVE WAS TOTALLY ENTIRELY LEFT ON USE OF ADVERB5 THAT MEAN TO A GREAT EXTENT MY GOD ID BETTER SLEEP WITH A KNIFE TONIGHT HOW MAD YOUR SPOUSE IS AT YOU

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kindness

I KNOW WE'RE JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER, BUT LET ME LAy My CARDS ON THE TABLE, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN GENIUS OR A BEAUTIFU BODY OR STATUS OR WHATEVER MY WHOLE LIFE I THOUGHT I WAS BUT NOw... ALL I REALLY WANT IS KINDNESS. I WANT THE KINDEST MAN I CAN THROW My ARMS AROUND I PAID FOR THE LICENSED VERSION OF WINRAR MOMENTS LATER

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ark

STEVE BUILD AN ARK LIKE... FROM WOOD WOOD IS A TYPE OF TREE, RIGHT? Humanity's lack of vocational training eventually proved to be its undoing.

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right

THERE ARE SATELLITES WATCHING ME AししTHE TIME. AししMACHINES ARE REPORTING TO THE WATCHERS. THE WATCHERS ARE AしWAYS WATCHING/ RIGHT. OF COURSE. BUT IS ANYTHING BOTHERING YOU? (r It's getting harder and harder to diagnose paranoia.

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infinite power

DAD, I FIND THE IDEA OF A MULTIVERSE TERRIFYING. IF THERE ARE NEARLY INFINITE COPIES OF ME, IT'S LIKE NOTHING IS REAL NOTHING CARRIES MEANING IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE! I JUST-Ow CROTCH-SLAMMED NEARUY INFINITE PEOPLE, SON! WATCH THIS AND I CAN DO IT GOD THAT SMARTS ANY TIME I WANT LIMITLESS POWER, SON! LIMITLESS POWER! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE PERPETRATOR AND NOT THE VICTIMP HOW DO YOU KNOW SOME OTHER YoL DIDNT IDEATE THE CROTCH-SLAM FIRST THAT 1S A MATTER FOR PHILOSOPHERS. smbc-comics.com

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ideal

TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOU EARTH AS AN IDEA POINT MASS WHAT'S AN IDEA POINT MASS A POINT MASS WHERE YOU DON'T GET ASKED QUESTIONS THAT UWERE ON THE F------ HANDOUT J" Smbc-comics.com

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layers

GRAMMY, WHY ARE YOU WARM LAYERS. EVERYONE! INVENTING A WAY TO CONVERT COAL INTO STEAM POWER? EVERYONE MUST HAVE EVEN NATURE HERSELF! No one will ever believe the true cause of global warming.

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Border

MR PRESIDENT, I'M AFRAID WE CAN'T BUILD YOUR BORDER WAしし THE "COASTLINE PARADOX" TELLS lUs THAT BECAUSE COASTLINES ARE SELF-SIMILAR, THE CONCEPT OF ENGTH DOESN'T APPLY. THE SMALLER THE MEA SURING STICK WE USE, THE GREATER THE LENGTH WE WILしMEASURE WHATP THEREFORE, IT WIlL COST INFINITY PART OF THE U.S MEXICO BORDER IS DOLLARS, WHICH WIL BE A THE "COASTLINE" NON-STARTER WITH DEFICIT HAWKS. THE 2IO GRANDE THEREFORE WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT ANY BORDER WALL WOULD BE OF NFINITE LENGTH W AT IF WE JUST USE BIGGER MEASURING STICKSP X NO CAN DO THATD RESULT IN US LOSING AN ARBITRARILY SMALL QUANTITY OF LAND, WHICH WOULD MAK IF THE RUSSIANS GET WORD THAT WERE MEASURING A FRACTAU DIMENSION BORDER WITH A EUCLIDEAN RULER, THEyLL LAND TROOPS IN WASHINGTON BY TOMORROW MORNING HE WORLD STAGE. THIS IS A TOUGH SITUA TION. I'D BETTER CALL THE SECRETARY OF MA THEMA TICS 凵Eしし9 I NEED TO MEASURE A THING WHOA, SLOW DOWN. COULD YOU PLEASE STATE THE PROBLEM MORE GENERALLY2 Smbc-comics.com

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Many Moons

ME AM FROM MANY MOONS FROM NOW! YOU- AM CAVEMAN FIND USE OF ARTICLES AND PRONOUNS CONFUSING ON y AM OTHERWISE FLUENT Moments into the first time traveling expedition, Dr. North commits a faux pas.

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - If prospective employees were honest

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STReNGTH AS AN EMPLOYEE? WWHAT IS YOUR GREATESTI AM WILLING- TO PERFORM SERVICES GE FOR CURRENCY IN EXCHAN WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST/ REQUIRE SHELTER AND CALORIES TO MAINTAIN eXISTENCE AND THUS, I MUST PERFORM SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY. WEAKNESS? WHY ARE YOU INTERESTEDTHIS COMPANY PAYS IN WORKING AT THIS CURRENCY IN EXCHAN COMPANY IN PARTICULAR? FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF SERVICES WHERE DO YOU SEE/ PERFORMING COMPARABLE OURSE F IN FIVE YEARS? SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE CURRENCY. YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S START OVER, OKAY? ER EAR NOW, JUST BE HONEST IN THIS JOB INTERVIEW он. wow REALLY? Smbc-comics.com

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