4chan - Whimsical Warfare: Italian Front of WW1

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Anonymous 07/21/17(Fri)18:54:14 No.54451639 >54451682 File: Itallian Nail gun.jpg (170 KB, 579x839) >>54450905 During the first great German camping trip to France, the Italians and the Austro-Hungarians made a terrible discovery. They found out that the Alps were made of chalk and in danger of collapse. If this were to happen, then no one would ever have a reason to visit them anymore. Faced with losing all of their friends and pocket money, they decided to join forces to save the Alps. Now because the Alps are a big big place, they needed to use very big big nails to hold it all together. To help them make sure the nails fitted properly, each builder was given a "Fucile" or a "Gewehr"; which in English means "Screwdriver". Unfortunately because chalk is very crumbly, there were many times where bits of the mountains would fall off and land on the toes of the poor builders who were trying keep them together. Over the next couple of years, the builders stitched all the mountains together, so that they wouldn't be so crumbly. These stitches are called "trenches". Now as you know, the Italians and the Austro-Hungarians are very playful people; so when it started to snow, they began to build the best snow forts they could. Since each of them thought the other had the best snow fort, the builders had many snowball fights trying make the other ones run back home for hot chocolate and fuzzy slippers so they could have the forts all to themselves. Unfortunately during some of these snowball fights, some builders got very chilly and had to go home because they caught the sniffles. The best builders at snowballing were known as "Arditi" or "Sturmtruppen" which means "Really cool dudes" in English. The motto of the Arditi was "O la vittoria, o tutti accoppati" which means "It doesn't matter if we win, as long as we have fun". Just as the Germans were packing up their things for the long drive home, the Italians and Austro-Hungarians finally made enough trenches that the Alps were no longer in danger of collapsing and saved the day.

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Uploaded Jul 15, 2020 at 08:13PM EDT

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Whimsical Warfare came about from a discussion on /tg/ on taking well known events in military history and subjecting them to disneyfication in order to make them as innocuous and cuddly as possible. Due to the more general nature of the content, and the lack of a /his/ entry, I felt they belonged here instead of being in the /tg/ entry.

The Italian Front in World War 1 was fought primarily by the Kingdom of Italy and the Austro-Hungarian Empire, with detachments from the other Entente and Central Power members playing a minor part as well. This particular theatre of combat was primarily focused on Mountain Warfare high in the Alps.

Due to the nature of the landscape, tranches often had to be blown out of the mountains with explosives. This also led to both the Austro-Hungarians and Italians demolishing entire mountains and deliberately causing avalanches which killed tens of thousands of soldiers on both sides. Bodies from this conflict are still being found to this day, over a 100 years on.

Both sides employed elite shock troops to spearhead assaults into enemy lines, these being the Italian Arditi and the Austro-Hungarian Sturmtruppen. The Arditi are well known for their motto "O la vittoria, o tutti accoppati" which translates roughly to "Either we win or we all die".

For further information, please see:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/most-treacherous-battle-world-war-i-italian-mountains-180959076/

https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/italian_front

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4chan - Whimsical Warfare: Italian Front of WW1

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