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mysharona1987 Follow Sep 9, 2024 Connie @iamthedunce Replying to @Gavin_F_Brewis Vampires don't live in castles, Count Dracula lived in a castle because he was a count, not because he was a vampire. iamnmbr3 Follow 3d ago this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace 47,810 notes

vangObus Follow gameshow called 'pride or prejudice' in which the contestants are presented with a gay joke and have to guess if it Iwas made by a queer person or a homophobe e-the-village-cryptid Follow the contestants are all vaguely liberal straight people who are desperately uncomfortable with the entire concept

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The Jewish tradition of Purim

dark-haired-hamlet There are n*zis on campus rn and a student brought out like a 1997 boombox and started blasting Taking The Hobbits to Isengard every time they tried to say something. "Those who do not share our genes -THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE MASTER RACE - TO ISENGARD TO ISENGARD - AND I BELIEVE THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE-" the44thpilot Chaotic good curiousobsession101 In Jewish tradition, one of our holidays is called Purim. It celebrates the defeat of an antisemitic political advisor to a king who liked to prowl the streets ranting his hatred. Part of the story of Purim involves the people being ranted at inventing a special kind of noisemaker to drown him out. Basically what I'm saying is this student is following a grand tradition whether they realize it or not and they should be proud. whisperwhisk not only is Purim about drowning out fascists, it's about doing so in the most absurd and embarrassing ways possible! fascism thrives on an aura of invincibility, and it's hard to hold onto that when people keep making farting sounds every time you open your mouth so really, weaponized memes are PERFECTLY in keeping with the Purim spirit disease-danger-darkness-silence *slams fist on table* NOW THIS is the kind of religious/cultural tradition I can get behind! 278,690 notes

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you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?

voidandradiance the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

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"Mfs can’t even boycott a chicken place"

Anonymous said Amazing how fast the 'eat the rich' left turns into corporate bootlickers the second a black elf or race-swapped redhead is dangled in front of them urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Mfs can't even boycott a chicken place

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German Shepherds

thefingerinthemiddle universalthaumaturge ... homunculus-argument The reason why german shepherds are the way they are isn't that they're stupid, they just have so much energy that they run out of smart things to do, and doing stupid s--- is infinitely better than doing nothing. They'll do the smart thing when one is available, yes, but if a german shepherd was a person, they'd be the type to make a 23-point to-do-list for a day, start working on it at 7:30 in the morning, be done with every single point on the list by noon, and then start constructing a new wall in the middle of the living room out of freeze-dried banana peels. 3.3k notes

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cringe is not an insult if you find me cringe that means i have power over you i am having a fucking blast while you are seething with vitriol at my very existence who is really winning here

cringe isnt an insult. if you find me cringe that means i have power over you. im having a f------ blast while youre seething with vitriol at my very existence. whos really winning here

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Cotton Candy

languagebender why divide people by unrational things when you COULD divide them by whether their word for cotton candy is valid or not? languagebender examples: american english: cotton candy british english: fairy floss X not valid spanish, german: sugar cotton french: daddy's beard X NOT VALID berenswick I'm sorry the French call it what good good

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Weird Crap Teachers' Students Have Done

astaraxia asked So today this kid yelled Nani the f---?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world. biggest-gaudiest-patronuses teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done! ralsalot I'm not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me "why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?" They're 11 official-lyzzystardust An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, "A little slappy to make daddy happy?" I did not give him a high five. myathesleepyoctopus A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said "im crying on the inside" myathesleepyoctopus Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following. Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds. shieldmaiden19 Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are. Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses 120,737 notes tl

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MFers really found a way to turn the slogan calling for their death into a product

Reuters @Reuters 2h REUTERS New Yorkers can take a bite out of capitalism by munching on popsicles shaped like the heads of billionaires Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Jack Ma, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg near McCarren Park in Brooklyn idiot Visit youtube.com EAT THE RICH! r-tsn-ke $10.00 **Jeff Mschf siclet Mschf sicke they... they gentrified eating the rich Bill Gates Mschfsicle Jack Ma Machi side ELAN $10.00 MUK $10.00 Mschfsick New York wow... yeah, you're really showing how much you hate capitalism by . (checks notes) ... paying $10 for a f------ ice-cream... II. mark ZUCKERBERG $10.00

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If Batman and Spider-Man switched Rogues Galleries

galahadwilder If Batman and Spider-Man switched rogues galleries none of their villains would last more than ten minutes against the new enemy galahadwilder Batman takes down all of Spider-Man's villains with ruthless efficiency and preparation Batman's villains are all like "TAKE ME SERIOUSLY DAMMIT" and Spider-Man is like "No" azuzulira The Joker would have an intense hatred for Spider-Man because Spider-Man is actually funny galahadwilder That was the exact thought process behind this post sexycraisinthanos In Gotham: "Riddle me this-" "I like knock knock jokes better." In New York: Green Goblin is getting his ass beat by 12 orphans in spandex #i'm crying #this is amazing #batman #spider-man ... 29,051 notes

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Spocking their fivers

CANADA CING FIVE DOLLARS DANGEROUSMINDS.NET Bank of Canada urges 'Star Trek' fans to stop 'Spocking' their fivers lifeafterthetunnel Follow No Polis A

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Well, there's no need to be dramatic

plaguedocboi Follow *pokes you with my doctor stick as you lie face down on the ground* plague-masks-n-mushrooms Follow *emits a cloud of toxic spores* plaguedocboi Follow Well there's no need to be dramatic bowling-with-skulls Follow *poke* *poke* i physically had to draw this 22,667 notes - Well, there's no need to be dramatic. tl U

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A classic

officialdragonborn buttsassy poupon: drakensberg: The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor. how dare you say we piss on the poor Source: drakensberg 508,717 notes 11

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Tumblr - All it takes is one bastard to ruin a name

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Uploaded Oct 20, 2022 at 01:40AM EDT

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