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Political Compass - Mt. Everest 7x7 wojak compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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CHINESE GOVERNMENT CHINESE TEAM Funded by the CCP as a propaganda tool, predominately composed of PLA soldiers Thinks they own the whole mountain and that it's a political pawn at their convenience Very strict about who gets to climb from the Chinese side, withdraws permits all the time VEGAN Carried a torch to the summit and thought it looked cool but everyone's forgotten it Only cares about being the first trans black woman or whatever to summit Dominates the front page of Reddit and the news when they cross off a diversity checkbox RESIST GLASS CEILING WEATHER SERVICE Tries to warn the climbers of incoming storms 2008 OLYMPIC TORCH RELAY STRIKING SHERPA WASTE MANAGEMENT REINHOLD MESSNER Shut down the whole Chinese side of the mountain for a propaganda film shoot In 2014 had enough of being everyone's bitch Made the first solo ascent of Everest and is revered for it and went on strike Nobody would've cared if they weren't a POC CHARITY Sees the plight of the Nepalis and starts raising money for them Nobody in the west really cares that much, white people get all the glory Franz LEOPARD PROTECTOR So....does anyone care that the commercialization of Everest is resulting in massive snow leopard depopulation!? No? Ok... ENVIRONMENTALIST Worried about the environmental impact of Everest's commercialization Makes all sorts of charts and models to warn everybody but it keeps getting worse latrines at Base Camp for hundreds still isn't of people Nepali food sitting so well Frequently plant Chinese flags at S---- on the ground, it never gets cleaned up the summit as yet another claim" on the mountain Came to an agreement but notuint sincerely changed A lot of them get summit fever and die You should have listened SHERPA The backbone of Contrary to popular belief it's not a profession but an every Everest ethnic group operation Died in the 90s, now used as a Incredibly difficult and dangerous job, have to do manual labor at 28,000 feet *in addition to climbing* signpost for other climbers Work extremely hard for little money guiding climbers THE SUMMIT About the size of a tabletop Most of them have. summitted the mountain more than 10 times Littered with flags and photographs Climbers show up, take pictures, and leave because they're literally dying every minute there The most prolific landmark on the mountain MEDICAL RESEARCH Hey, just because they're dead doesn't mean it has to be in vain Infuriated at all the garbage at Base Camp Very well documented and photographed, heartbreaking story Just trying to keep everyone alive Extract samples from the bodies to try and learn new lessons about hypoxia and low air pressure * DOCTOR Nobody cares LADDER/ROPE FIXER JOURNALIST COMMERCIAL GUIDE Sherpa responsible for fixing ropes and ladders so the commercial clients can climb easily Gets to go on an expedition for free so long as they write 500 words on their experience for MSM Gets to summit first CAN Tries desperately to organize cleanups but climbers keep being inconsiderate There will never be an effective means of crowd control Climbers unfairly shout expletives at them when they tell them they can't ascend due to health reasons OPEN DEFECATOR GREEN BOOTS HAPE CASE There are like two And that You should have listened Most people's bodies simply aren't made for extreme altitude I'm really jealous of them tbh SIR EDMUND HILLARY First known man to summit Everest Actually really progressive, credited his Sherpa extensively when media didn't want to Spent the rest of his life promoting conservation and ethical mountaineering from Namche Bazaar to Everest to experience the exotic culture and religion It's the most wholesome and uplifting experience of his life NEPALESE GOVERNMENT BRITISH COLONIALIST INDIAN MILITARY Issue expensive permits to Saw Everest in the 1800s and Has vague claims Sees Nepal as theirs thought "that's mine" climb the mountain and check them constantly on the mountain and all the Himalayas The circulatory system starts to become hypoxic and the victim grows weaker Invests a lot of money into catching shirkers and criminals and keeping the mountain pure They can't climb in this condition and they're p----- about it Came after the 2015 earthquake and just never left UN Frequently releases statements about Everest and climbers c-- their pants UN Now they have a permanent presence on Everest trying to police the place (EMPATHETIC) Everyone who pays gets up the mountain, and he'll hold your hand the whole way For $200,000, he'll get an obese diabetic to the top PORTER Usually exceptionally- poor Nepalis who are hired out to transport climbers' luggage on a two-week journey from Namche Bazaar to Base Camp Climbs live cushily, porters are the laborers profession exists The Nepalese on Everest too government is strict about it and often raids the brothels but they keep popping up YAK The Himalayas' beast of burden Can carry massive loads long distances Has a temper though Gave it an Anglicized name that sticks to this day and made damn sure a white person was first to summit 11 Makes all the bordering countries sign a treaty and tries to enforce it lol They can't charge for rescues and climbers know it MOUNTAIN TREATIES GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED TEAM BUDDHIST TEMPLE Trying desperately to solve the diplomatic crises surrounding Everest At the base of the mountain, see it as a sacred place NEPALESE MILITARY NON-OXYGEN SUMMITER Frequently have to come to the rescue of trapped climbers and they're tired of it Definitely getting taken advantage of TOURIST Has no intention of climbing the mountain, shows up at Base Camp to take pictures and vlog <-> Takes a bunch of pictures, uses the brothel, and leaves Half the time doesn't make the summit but has an unforgettable experience Sees the mountain and thinks "huh, I could ski that" In a perpetual artillery war with China in the Himalayas Also funds teams to go place flags at the summit Sponsored by Red Bull or something Great YouTube content From some totalitarian country, government funded the trip Usually soldiers AVERAGE CLIENT EQUIPMENT RESELLER Wealthy and athletic westerner who pays an exorbitant sum to fulfill a life dream Use their summitting as a nationalist symbol You won't get away with it because they check permits constantly Thinks he's hot s--- because he doesn't use oxygen to climb the mountain Actually regarded as selfish because by putting himself at greater risk, he's increasing his chances of becoming a liability to everyone else COMMERCIAL GUIDE (COMPETITIVE) Everyone on his team is an athlete and determined to get ahead of the others If you're not a mountaineer, you're cut If you're a weak link, you're out Collects equipment from the dead or from those who quit the mountain Takes it back to Kathmandu and resells for 50% off BASE CAMP TREKKER BASE CAMP PROSTITUTE EXTREME ATHLETE TELECOMMUNICATIONS OXYGEN THIEF It doesn't cost much to Does the two-week hike Yes, this is real; the world's oldest Paid nothing for it so huge profits to Everest but since they're the only provider they can charge whatever How does $5/ minute sound? PERMIT SHIRKER BUDGET CLIMBER Can't afford the $50-200k for a Tries to climb the mountain without paying the $10,000 permit regular guided expedition so goes with a local one that costs $10-20k b fee to the Nepalese Government Gets caught and fined $20,000 Make 1000% profit margins GOD Gets a subpar experience Why the f--- do humans have to challenge nature like this and doesn't make the summit How many does he have to kill before they learn Stop coming up here fuckwads Demand that climbers pray to THEIR gods before approaching the mountain Place theocratic symbols all over the slopes and on the summit K2 Much harder to climb than Everest but just marginally shorter Summitters are bitter that they'll never have Everest prestige although they worked harder SUMMIT FEVER So desperate to summit that he steals oxygen, pushes others aside, and charges at it Exhausts himself on the way up and dies on the descent ASCENT FAKER Fakes a summitting to improve their own clout 100% of the time gets caught and banned from the mountain, they monitor everyone who summits Oxygen tanks are expensive, it's easier Most often to steal them from depriving someone else another climber of summit opportunity or even their life, does not give a s--- LINCOLN HALL Got HAPE in the Death Zone and was left for dead by his team without oxygen or supplies Miraculously survived overnight up there, only person in history to do so Was found undressing, first words to rescuers were "I suppose you are surprised to see me here."

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