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IMG-20230201-WA0003.jpg 799 KB JPG >Be Chimp >Capable of ripping off a human arm >Deal every problem with extreme violence and brutality >Psychotic rage over the most trivial matters >Stronger, jacked and more ripped than 99% of humans >With a diet of fruits and the organs of their enemies and training being swinging around tree branches >Deep set brows, death stare >Daggers for teeth, one of the strongest bite forces of any primate >Regularly picks fights with creatures capable of one shotting it to death If god made a gigachad with bipolar, it would be a chimp

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

BREAKING: Multiple people reported injured after shootings at Michigan State University, X police say > NEWS >be american >get shot WATCH NOW

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Anon want for it | /r/Greentext

>had a female friend over to watch a movie >at some point I thought f--- it and went for it >moved over to her, kissed her and pulled down her pants >she didn't do anything to stop it >f----- her on the couch >went to the bath together for clean-up afterwards >giggled when we looked at each other while she was sitting on the toilet while I was washing my d--- at the sink >continued to watch the movie afterwards >she already texted and asked when we'll meet next IS THIS HOW NORMALFAGS DO IT? WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F---?!

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Anon questions God | /r/Greentext

Why God made us 686 KB JPG 02/14/23(Tue)10:01:36 No.416099956 >be me >age 30, virgin, no income >shitposting on 4 chan >little prospect of getting a job little better than a wagecuck >the rent and mandatory spending is half of income >half of my friends does the f------ same stupid hiki s--- Why God made us so miserable? Wasnt god supposed to make us live a fulfilling life to reach consecutive goals and be successful, have children and multiply? Why are we all here?

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Anon regrets coming home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Nutty family 70 KB JPG 02/14/23(Tue)01:28:24 No.894337512 >Be me >Finish college degree >Get time to visit parent's house 5hourdrive.vroom >Greet family >Have dinner together for once >Older brother starts to lead the conversation >Says he has a girlfriend now >Brother has always had mental health issues, so naturally worried >Wants me to meet her Alright, a little worried >He looks at everyone around the table and grins >Dad looks f------ done >Mom folds her arms Fuckingscared.jpg >He pulls out a coconut with a wig that he's been hiding from under the table >Ask him if this is a joke >Brother starts yelling at me for making fun of his girlfriend >He's comforting the goddamn coconut >Lose it, yell at parents to take him to a mental hospital or care facility >They say he's an adult now and can deal with it >Ask parents why he's still living at home then >Argument begins to ensue >Dad starts throwing stuff >Brother is getting a blococonut job from under the table now >The coconut nut is a giant nut

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Anon wants ideas for an adults only petting zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 85 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)17:01:22 No.72214934 570 KB PNG >Oooo. You run a late night adult petting zoo business, Anon? That's really cool. But, wait, hold on... What makes it "adult"? 02/13/23(Mon)17:19:52 No.72215116 >>72214934 (OP) # ON TIME MUHMA TUK ME TO THA ZOO N WE SEEN THA SNEK NI BREAKED THA GLAS N FUG THA SNEK N THA SNEK BIT MAI PEEPEE N MAI PEEPEE TURN BLACK N FALL OF IN SEARS PARKING LOT 02/13/23(Mon)17:30:01 No.72215236 : Anonymous >>72214934 (OP) # It's adult because it's paired with readings of Zerzan

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Anon expects the worst. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/23(Tue)14:58:05 No.72221031 >be me >meet a cute girl on discord >we talk every day and get along really well >decide to finally meet her in person 6 KB PNG >she's super excited and so am I >we meet at a coffee shop and she's just as cute as her pics >things are going great until she drops the bomb >"I have something to tell you," she says nervously >my heart sinks, thinking the worst >"I'm actually a transexual," she says >my mind goes blank for a second, not sure how to react >"Wait, you're telling me you used to be a guy?" >she nods, looking relieved that I'm not freaking out >"Oh thank god," I say, grinning >"What?" she asks, confused >I was worried you were gonna say you were actually a furry or something >we're all gonna make it bros

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Anon gets trolled by God. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 KB JPG 02/13/23(Mon)21:36:17 No.72216857 >have terrible skin, full of premature wrinkles and a very think texture >my d--- head literally glows of clearness what did god mean by this

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tUgYfSgh C 02/14/23(Tue)10:54:02 No.416106179 216 KB PNG >>416099956 (OP) # >Be God >Made women wet for 6+ feet tall men >Made 90% of men less than 6 feet tall >Makes it impossible for short men to become taller Why the f--- is God so cruel?

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Anon becomes a teacher | /r/Greentext

1550967112847.jpg ✩ (796 KB, 2016x1260) 3 Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)19:43:59 No.91513123 - >>91513472 >>91513562 >>91513761 >>91514467 >>91514506 >Everyone, this is the instructor from /g/. He will teach us new and exciting ways to use digital tools in our workplace over the next two days! >Sir, would you like to tell us a few words about yourself? Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon) 20:08:11 No.91513664 ✓ >class, open up your web browser >now type in four chan dot org slash gee A >press enter >you in the blue shirt reply to that post with N >grey scarf reply to him with I >floral shirt you do G >glasses, another G >christmas, an E >hotwheels, give me an R >this concludes our two day course

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anon points out leftist hypocrisy in supporting the censorship of ideologies they don't agree with by private businesses. | /r/Greentext

File: Fn2hsweX0AAO16F.jpg (90 KB, 828x810) Colorado baker once sued over gay couple's wedding cake now in court over refusing to make birthday cake for transgender woman via Nexstar Media Wire and The Associated Press Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:06:42 No.627577661 >>627577759 >>627577770 >>627577786 >>627577798 >>627577879 >game has a kino sequel >> Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:08:35 No.627577759 ► >>627577661 (OP) You'd think Colorado would be safe from this retarded s--- but no Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:08:54 No.627577770 ► >>627577661 (OP). >heh it's a private business chud they can do what they please >NOOOO BAKE THE CAKE FOR ME america is a failed state

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anon wants to seduce one of his student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous shall i try to seduce her 01/14/23(Sat)22:46:00 No.71820566 >be me >physics teacher at an institution >pay is comfy >students like me >living my best life >we arranged extra classes for weak students >3 girls, and 2 boys they all had bad results in previous tests >cause small number of students, decided to not use the board >sat beside the boys, started explaining the children >one girl was looking at my face so eagerly >while i was writing in the notebook, saw her hand was in her lap and she was rubbing it, like she was so nervous >this kinda turned me on shall i try to seduce her, she is 15/16 488 KB PNG

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Anon wants to know if girls shit. | /r/Greentext

When I was a young kid, I used to believe that girls genuinely did not poop. I used to think that probably because I only had brothers and no sisters and I thought girls were too ladylike to do something that filthy. I know better now. 38 KB JPG When I got to high school, where there was girls galore to talk to. I would sometimes ask the question, "do girls poop?" to girls. Here are some responses that I have got from asking this: >Nalee: "Yes, everybody poops." >Josselin: "Of course girls poop, if we didn't poop, we would all explode!" >Nevaeh: "Yeah, we poop. Hehehehe!" >Brie: "Well yeah, you gotta get that out somehow." >Ellie: "I had diarrhea last week." and then "Yes, all humans defecate." >Kennedy: "Yes, it's true."

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Greentext Stories - Anon is Chimp-pilled | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

IMG-20230201-WA0003.jpg 799 KB JPG >Be Chimp >Capable of ripping off a human arm >Deal every problem with extreme violence and brutality >Psychotic rage over the most trivial matters >Stronger, jacked and more ripped than 99% of humans >With a diet of fruits and the organs of their enemies and training being swinging around tree branches >Deep set brows, death stare >Daggers for teeth, one of the strongest bite forces of any primate >Regularly picks fights with creatures capable of one shotting it to death If god made a gigachad with bipolar, it would be a chimp

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