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: Anonymous 72 KB JPG 04/11/18 (Wed)09:43:18 No.44604625 >my son starts browsing 4chan in august last year >i'm cool with it. he's smart enough to not fall for any /pol/ memes >fast forward to halloween >dresses as patrick bateman for a party >fast forward to december >asks for a Sony CD player, various expensive skincare products and Huey Lewis albums >fast forward to today >regularly goes on rants about Hip to Be Square and other Huey Lewis songs >has a haircut that's short at the front and long at the back >dresses in 80's business attire like he's f------ reviewbrah >caught him stealing p---- VHS tapes last week What the f--- did you people do to my son? Please give him back.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon wan go didney worl | /r/Greentext

HOME 52 KB PNG Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822388 # : Anonymous 93 KB PNG >>45822413 # Anonymous 1:28 PM >wan go diney wurl 06/01/18(Fri) 13:23:40 No.45822357 >>45822325 (OP) # flawda? 65% 06/01/18(Fri)13:25:46 No.45822388 >>45822357 # orthando 06/01/18(Fri)13:27:25 No.45822413 >>45822388 # wan go flawda

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Anon hates Burger King | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)14:45:11 No.19016077 Burger King >looks like it should taste good >smells like it should taste good >priced like it should taste good It's the most bland, flavorless fast good you can get. Bland burger, watered down "soda" and cold fries without fail every time I get it.

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You DO use a bread machine, right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IUSY4j4b /gag/ Goyslop Avoidance Genera(...) 03/06/23(Mon)12:00:50 No.418689652 Why haven't you bought a bread machine yet anons? >ingredients are dirt cheap >zero bugs >zero sneed oils >zero effort 198 KB JPG >slop your ingredients into the machine >4 hours later you get some of the tastiest bread you've ever had. Also these things can be picked up second hand for no money. So anon, what are you doing to avoid being poisoned by the jews today?

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Anon misses his cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB PNG >need cheese 03/06/23 (Mon)14:52:06 No.895455717 >be me >5 years old >come back from school >feelin' tired af >make a cheese sandwich >accidentally drop it >tears start flowin' >cried so hard >mama sees me cryin' >asks what's wrong >tell her about my cheese sandwich >mama makes me a new one >tries to cheer me up >but I can't eat it >too busy mournin' my first sandwich >RIP sandwich, you will be missed

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Anon tries coffee for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 03/06/23 (Mon)14:56:27 No.72471393 >Be me, never have drank coffee before >Decide one day to try it >Its ok I guess Mfw when suddenly my face gets hot and my back starts to crawl. What is this super power?

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Anon has an iphone | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)19:22:08 No.72467475 [Reply] ► >be me >phone screen broke recently >ordered a new one >wrong one technically but still fits so whatever >few weeks later, this morning >squat down to pet my dog and phone falls out of my pocket >screen falls off >try to put it back on but Im a retard and pinch one of the cables between the screen and the phone >completely severs the cable, iPhone X I paid too much money for now completely f----- >mfw Posting this off my s--- ass iPhone 5 from 2012. Day is off to a great start, huh?

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anon realises grind is for nothing | /r/Greentext

>30lvl >born in russian hell >fat spoiled kid >no father WONT FIX >overprotective retard mother that treated me like a pet >bullied through entire school and early adulthood (kinda justified, imagine dealing with fat spoiled kid with ADHD) >developed sociopathy, paranoia and a bunch of other mental illnesses by 20 >emotions degraded to the point I could be absolutely fine alone >at 26 got bored of anime and videogames and started learning programming >got a job, moved out, promotions every year >moved to EU >happiest men on earth >went on a couple of LSD trips, cured apathy and social anxiety >decided it's time to get a gf >full of optimism, excited for the future >went to gym, got nice clothes, started looking like a human being >2 months of ghosting on date apps >no girl wants to date with mentally ill average guy >thanks to restored emotions it's no longer feels fine to be alone >try to talk with people, show interest in them, try to understand their feeling, make friends >they show no interest in me whatsoever, I'm a ghost if I don't talk to them first, >realize I was happier without emotions >realize it was all for nothing

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Anon is a musician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)14:22:18 No.895454107 33 KB JPG >Be me >Have dream about making music >Accidentally create two songs >One has weird beat, other has cringey acapella lyrics >Try to go back to beat song >Somehow restart both songs and they play together >Magic happens >New really good song is born >Wake up, feeling excited to recreate the song in real life >Realize the details are fading from memory >Spend the rest of the day trying to recall the song >End up with nothing but a vague sense of loss and regret

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Anons vidya revenge. | /r/Greentext

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Anon fools the woke pricing market | /r/Greentext

>be me >midwestfag so not used to the woke pricing market >typically spend $9 on a meal plus a $2 tip >drive to big city 2 hrs away full of wokies 279 KB PNG >eat at restaurant >get like 7 ounces of food for $29 >realizesomething.mp3 >you can literally just not pay and walk out. They don't know who i am because i'm not from big city >literally just don't pay and get a fre small meal >holyfuckingshititworksguys.ogg Take the dine-n-dash pills,anons

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Anon learns that life isn't like anime | /r/Greentext

File: main-qimg-b15a3d253ed7c13(...).jpg (69 KB, 500x456) Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)17:56:24 No.70180663 >Finishing the day with chin ups >Last set, about to fail >Think about Goku training in the gravity machine >MOTIVATED >Manage to finish all reps >Hell yeah >Immediately vomit Man f--- this s--- no one ever vomited in Dragon Ball Z

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anon is very generous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: P6eq5TtV ONE F------ H------ 1.34 MB JPG PLEASE ANONS WEAR LATEX-SENSITIVE GLOVES WHEN GIVING HANDJOBS TO HOMELESS PEOPLE 08/03/22(Wed)04:13:19 No.389487827 That's all it took, one h------ after probably 20 years of not giving Handjobs to the Homeless. There was a qt homeless man who I thought I should help out so gave him a standard h------. Blisters have started this morning, by this afternoon the main part where his semen touched me has expanded 20x. : Anonymous (ID: 95Ze1vNo PRE >>389510375 # >>389487827 (OP) # Bless you for your service to the less fortunate <3 08/03/22(Wed)04:14:54 No.389487943 1.62 MB JPG : Anonymous (ID: P6eq5TtV) 08/03/22(Wed)04:15:14 No.389487961 sorry better pic

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Greentext Stories - anons son cosplaying as reviewbrah | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 72 KB JPG 04/11/18 (Wed)09:43:18 No.44604625 >my son starts browsing 4chan in august last year >i'm cool with it. he's smart enough to not fall for any /pol/ memes >fast forward to halloween >dresses as patrick bateman for a party >fast forward to december >asks for a Sony CD player, various expensive skincare products and Huey Lewis albums >fast forward to today >regularly goes on rants about Hip to Be Square and other Huey Lewis songs >has a haircut that's short at the front and long at the back >dresses in 80's business attire like he's f------ reviewbrah >caught him stealing p---- VHS tapes last week What the f--- did you people do to my son? Please give him back.

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