RU 2m (4/20 13:56) 180772547 >be me, middle school >have to use toilet really bad >feels like I have a piston with a force of 4000 Newtons deep in my ass, which is also being assisted by gravity that's far beyond the one of Earth's >ofc, every stall's occupied (and we had only 2) >no biggie, I had always had bright ideas >I spread my ass cheeks, making them face a sink, and let out one single oval-shaped rock solid turd >I look at it, and burst out laughing as I see it standing vertically in a drain, like a small smelly palm tree >run off >the bell rings, everybody comes out of their classes >in a minute everyone's already gathered near my p------------, laughing their asses of >I pretend like I am in confussion, too I laugh every time I remember it in my bed.

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon starts lifting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 70684605 48.4 kB JPG 6 REPLIES >start lifting >libido skyrockets i cant handle it bros... 2 IMAGES Anonymous | 70684615 >>70684605 (OP) turn gay 36 min ago ... REPLY 35 min ago ...

Based ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous peggable 56 KB JPG 08/08/22(Mon) 20:02:47 No.69730414 > be me > on the phone with my gf, 10/10 qt3.14 > she out of nowhere goes "Anon, you're peggable as f---." > I'm silent for a bit and go "uh... What?" > "Nothing dw about it." > gf has been to a sexshop earlier that day to get stuff > I ask what she got from the shop > "You'll see tomorrow ;)" Guys I am gonna get pegged w-- do I do help

AnonsInstructions unclear. | /r/Greentext

72 KB JPG >be me >Have gf >Third date >Whispers in my ear "finger me" >"What?" >She giggles >Look at her strangely >Gives her the middle finger in confusion >She looks dumbfounded and walks away >Stand there confused >Realization kicks in

Anon is a British tank driver | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/23(Mon)17:23:01 No.57879284 >>57879670 File: 1552849349710.jpg (23 KB, 600x439) >>57875883 (OP) >THESE >F------ >PIGGERS >I AM SO SICK OF THESE TWO UGLY, SALO EATING PIGGERS THAT FEEL THE COMPULSIVE NEED TO SLAP KONTAKT-1 ON EVERYTHING >HAM SANDWICH? KONTAKT-1 >DAVE'S RANGE ROVER? KONTAKT-1 >NOW THE F------ GOBSHITES HAVE PUT KONTAKT-1 ON A CENTURION ARV >COULD YOU M------------ NOT DO THAT? >OUR PRIME MINISTERS, EVEN THE ONE THAT FAILED TO OUTLAST A HEAD OF CHRISTIN' LETTUCE, BENT THEIR HEADS UP THEIR OWN ARSES TO SUPPORT YOU >AND THIS IS WHAT YOU REPAY US WITH? >HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH? >F------ 'ELL

Anon has won, but at what cost | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 170 KB JPG 04/19/23(Wed)21:48:26 No.897889410 >two dates with a chick >on the second date she invites me to her place and I bang her >we make plans for third date >on day of third date, she texts me: "sorry this is not going to work, you're too big and it's uncomfortable" I got rejected because my d--- is too big what the f--- I feel so f------ s--- right now. like my d--- is so bad, she even rejected all the personality reasons for which she let me bang her. My confidence is dogshit right now. I thought my d--- was a gift, now I see that it is a curse

Anon thinks asian women would commit white genocide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous im an asian guy and i support (...) No.72971014 there are about 500 million white men worldwide, meanwhile there are 1.1 billion women in east asia and south east asia alone. asian women can single handedly commit white genocide through WMAF. this is probably inevitable since white women are satanic anyway and 50% of them will be childless at 30 soon. btw im not jewish, nor do i have a cuck fetish 345 KB JPG 04/16/23(Sun)11:37:44

/tv/ plays a game | /r/Greentext

No.183176086 14 hours ago You Lost It.jpg JPG 54.9 KiB 1296x728 >>183174954 (OP) >Tell them You don't have to tell me what happened >However, you do have to eat this. >Eggs >Get a blanket so I can lie on the couch. >Accept that they want to have sex with me. >Must politely decline until they have a chance to sleep it off >Eventually see them safely home. Then I direct them to the first letter of every line and the title of the picture. 12 replies

Anon spirals into deep depression over boobies withdraw. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Wed 04 Dec 2013 06:37:07 No.9756757 View Report My gf is a 32J I could suck them for hours. F------ LOVE em Anonymous Sat 18 Jan 2014 17:20:44 No.10314310 View Report >tfw gf is a 32J I'm suckling every day and night Anonymous Sun 26 Jan 2014 14:46:52 No.10405937 View Report I dated a girl with 32J boobs Yeah, it was awesome. I'll never get that lucky again though Anonymous Thu 01 May 2014 11:10:48 No.11538040 View Report I am utterly obsessed with huge t---. My ex-gf was a 32J. You can't imagine how I felt when she dumped me. I still remember after the last time we ever f----- she put her bra on and I thought to myself, "That is the last time I will ever see or experience a pair of t--- that big" And now I can't move on. Anything smaller than at least a H cup and I can't find the girl attractive. Not that I am exactly good with women either. I lucked out before and now I'm back to square one. So I spend my days watching huge t-- c------ compilations all day and j------- thinking about my ex Anonymous Tue 15 Jul 2014 12:28:05 No.12529208 View Report >tfw ex was a 32J natural >tfw its been 8 months since we split >tfw I still think about them every single f------ day >tfw I fap exclusively to girls like OP's pic and imagine its my ex Its f------ torture, man. Once you've experienced t--- that big, you can never forget them or move on. Giant natural t--- are now an absolute dealbreaker for me. Its literally all or nothing for me Anonymous Mon 05 Jan 2015 17:02:39 No.15604323 View Report >tfw I contribute to every single big t-- thread on /r9k/ My ex was a 32J. Gigantic naturals that absolutely blew my mind. She left me and have basically been mentally ill ever since. I cannot deal with the fact I will never experience them again and now some Chad is probably unloading on them as we speak. Huge t--- are truly amazing. But beware, although the experience is incredible, the feelings of depression that come when they are taken away from you are worse than anything you can imagine Anonymous Mon 07 Dec 2015 12:35:34 No.24812744 View Report My ex was a 32J, basically the same as the OPs gif I was a virgin till my late 20s and she was my first ever gf. I have always had a chronic huge t-- fetish and my greatest fantasy literally came true. The feeling is indescribable for numerous reasons. When you have a gf with t--- that big and she is riding you and they are literally an inch from your face..... words can't describe. The loads I used to shoot onto them. The way they made her head look tiny when she walked towards me in the distance. The way I used to bury my face in her lovely warm cleavage. Watching her unleash them from her bra after a long day and being there to caress those warm monsters for her....I lived the dream alright. Anonymous Wed 03 Feb 2016 06:00:26 No.26221399 View Report >>26217836 My ex was 32J. I did exact same thing. Once you have experienced giants and then they are suddenly taken away, I honestly believe it causes genuine mental illness. You hit the evolutionary jackpot then boom, they're gone. Your brain just can't take it What is worse is knowing that another guy is now sucking the f--- out of them and living your dream, which has become a living nightmare Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 14:51:57 No.33351054 View Report >>33349326 This Leanne Crow probably makes more in a single softcore shoot or cam session than the average p--- slut makes in a month of gangbangs and facial abuse Petite college girls are 10 a penny. Truly giant natural titted goddesses are rare as f--- and are rightly worshipped as such >tfw ex was 32J Anonymous Sat 08 Apr 2017 13:47:33 No.36113983 View Report I understand, OP My ex was in fact a 32J natural. I never recovered after she left. I am literally obsessed with monster natural t--- to the point where I can't entertain the idea of f------ any girl below a GG cup (not that it matters because I'm an incel anyway) My p--- obsession revolves entirely around monster naturals and there is not a great abundance of such videos as genuine titcows usually only do softcore or if they do hardcore, it is only short term. I have considered going to a local escort who is 32H. I just can't stop this obsession, I genuinely wish I was attracted to chestlets, it would be so much easier Anonymous Wed 04 Oct 2017 05:19:07 No.40173319 View Report These threads just kill me inside, they induce legitimate suicidal feelings >tfw ex was a 32J I wish I'd never experienced them. Theres no going back once you've had a monster t-- gf. I'll be single forever now whilst she f---- Chad Anonymous Fri 10 Aug 2018 12:10:00 No.47413886 View Report My ex was a 32GG. Went up to a 32J when she gained some weight. I was in absolute heaven. I am a lifelong huge t-- obsessive. Anything less than a GG I consider small. My life has been hell since that girl left me. I'll never meet another with natural t--- so enormous, I'll never be happy again (...) Anonymous Thu 03 Jan 2019 14:48:10 No.50220678 View Report Been there, done it, and posted about it on /r9k/ 100 times. Still... >tfw ex was 32J Never recovered, never will. Wish I'd never been born such is the torment in having them taken away. Even the memories are fading now. Anonymous Mon 05 Aug 2019 08:36:47 No.53753507 View Report >tfw ex was 32J Years have passed and I never got over her. No woman could ever possibly compare. Once you've experienced the sheer pleasure and ego trip of dating a huge natural titted girl, there is no way you can ever go back to normal. Anything less than a GG cup I consider small now. F--- these idiotic males who think that D cups are 'huge'. Having huge t--- smash your face as she rides you. Burying your face in her warm cleavage whenever you are snuggling on the sofa. Seeing the reaction of other men as her huge t--- in tight tops enter a room 10 minutes before she does. C------ enormous loads over them because you are so visually turned on. Watching them ripple like oceans as you f--- her missionary. Soaping them up in the shower.... I honestly wish I'd never experienced it now. The pain of losing it once you've had it is unbearable. I'd simply rather not know what it's like. Anonymous Mon 25 Nov 2019 14:48:39 No.55507121 >tfw ex was 32J Might as well be dead, I'll never recover View Report

throwback to the time when a man in a skirt tried to kidnap anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: m2LeV/PO )= >>424043837 # 04/19/23(Wed)06:05:03 No.424044937 Yep. >Be me walking home >cut through the back parking lot of a shopping center to save time >lady in a little Mazda pick-up truck asks me how to find Sears >tell her it's a few miles away at the big mall >lady opens truck door and swings legs out >l notice hair under the pantyhose >Is that a tennis ball under her lime green skirt? >lady gets pretty demanding that I get into the truck so I can show her the way to Sears >I decline and keep walking >lady drives up to me again >more insistent demands >I feel freaked out because it's a big empty parking lot >I look around >see an apartment building across the street >Yell "HI MOM!" and start walking >pickup truck screeches tires and gets the f--- out of there >run three blocks as fast as I can all the way home

Topped Gun 2: Maverick | /r/Greentext

infernal lust >Be me >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- >Join Air Force for unrelated reasons. >Now having to work around aircraft that now make me uncontrollably aroused. >Struggle with it my first few years in. >Now I've partially managed it >Now manifests differently. >Now get uncontrollably angry when my planes break due to poor maintenance. >Other maintainers f--- up one of my jets components. >It's like having someone beat my wife >They're beating all of my wives >UnfathomableRage.jpeg >Manifests in me chewing out other airmen and NCOS about their poor quality workmanship >The f------ t---- are touching my plane inappropriately >Leadership just takes it as me being passionate about attention to detail and excellence in all I do. >Promoted, more responsibilities and have to do more f------ work on the flightline. >Oh god no. >Myfuckingdick.jpeg >One of the new refuellers comes through the base, needs repairs. >"Anon go unfuck the jet" >Get down to the apron. >It's beautiful. Shiny new paint, glistening leading edges, my god it even has electronic countermeasures. Even seeing the blueprints in the T.O. is like f------ playboy magazine for me. >Diamonds.jpeg >Literally tucking my boner into my waistband as I work on it. >Crewchief asks me why I keep running my hand across the airframe >"Just checking for uhh.... delamination" >Finish up, Jet flies away. >Feelsbadman.jpeg >Go stare at the transient fighters to make myself feel better. >Go home and jerk it to fat tittied planes to relieve the unprecedented amount of sexual tension of the day. >Literally unable to achieve arousal to 3D women >Thefleshisinferior.mp4 >I have to repeat this process everyday until the end of my contract in several years. >Behavioral health will probably use me as a case study or take away my security clearance if I tell them. >I f------ love planes

Anon reads Blood Meridian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 21925883 MERIDIAN Cormac McCarthy 371.8 kB JPG Yesterday. Blood Meridian and Judge Holden >JUDGE HOLDEN IS SOO00 EVILEROOOOONI HE LITERALLY KILLS CHILDEROONIIIS HE IS THE MOST EVIL CHARACTER IN LITERATURE Why is he exactly the monster of the book? Glanton might do his bidding commiting genocide all over America but most of the Glanton crew was also childkillers and rapists so why does the Judge only get the bad reputation 6 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

Robot almost succeeds in life | /r/Greentext

$Anonymous 04/19/23(Wed)19:31:21 No.73016752 [Reply] ► Tinder fail (?) I thought I should share with the Robots >Be me >Using this digital equivalent of a landfill hoping for the slightest offchance I may get some poon out of it >Match with a chick >"Probably a sex bot" >She messages first >"Definitely attempting to plug an Onlyfans or some s---" >Is actually a witty message, seems like a real person >We start texting on the app, almost immediately move to Snap >Seems to like my sense of humor >I think she's cute and funny >"Wow [Anon], I really struck out by finding a guy like you on this app!" >Ask for a date this upcoming Saturday but she says she'd rather FaceTime first just to get more of a feel for what I'm like before meeting up >Sounds reasonable.file >Shower, shave, everything for our FaceTime last night >Lasts only about forty minutes because it's apparently cut short by some RA business she has to tend to >For those unfamiliar with the term they're essentially older students who live in the dorm halls with younger students to supervise them >I stutter a little during the call which I'm sadly prone to but I think it goes rather well >Fast forward to this morning >She had sent me a text wall message at 3am >She said d that while we had bonded well over text, she didn't enjoy the FaceTime as much as she thought she would >Says I remind her of her brother >I repeat, THAT I REMIND HER OF HER F------ BROTHER >Would have been relatively easy to go on dates with her seeing as despite the fact we go to different unis our respective hometowns are barely 20 minutes away from each other Robots...what the f---? I'm not even all that upset, just a little numb with disappointment. I was handed the silver platter for a fraction of a second then had it swiped away mere seconds later. Does it get any better?$

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