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Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)18:22:18 No.904925599 ► >be a dog >go absolutely f------ a------ at dinnertime >even though I'm eating the same s--- that I've eaten every day >of my entire life Are dogs literally retarded? How are they so easy to please?

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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What's inside American mind? | /r/Greentext

Why are Americans like this? Anonymous (ID: >Buys gun for protection from criminals >Criminals steal gun >Buys more guns to protect from now armed criminals

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Anon gets transferred to work in the US | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LIEAFR+n) Working in America 181 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)14:16:02 No.5592864 Irish lad here. I fell for the meme and transferred to one of the USA offices of my company. What the f--- is this s---? >Be engineer >Zero safety standards at plant sites >People wearing T shirts and jeans with zero PPE in waste storage areas >"I had to buy my own PPE if I wanted any" - operator >USA boomers are the absolute worst managers I have met in my life >Zero direction provided >All are short, morbidly obese, balding, and constantly angry >Boomer threw a tantrum yesterday and threw his books and paperwork onto the floor and marched out of the office. Would never see someone behave so childish in an Irish office. >Wants you to do something but will never give you clear directions. No emails. Always verbal so they can't be blamed for not being clear. How the f--- do yanks function like this? This isn't even some small operation. It is a Fortune 500 company's commercial manufacturing plant. This is insane. The stress it causes is f----- simply due to the complete lack of direction. I can see why you all hate working so much. This is not normal.

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Anon likes strong reporters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)18:31:53 No.189124066 clark_kent.jpg 56 KB JPG >Kent, get your incredibly muscular 350 lb. nerdy ass in my office >We need to run a story about Superman for our newspaper >We suspect he may have a secret identity >Since you have the exact same hairstyle and facial structure as Superman I want you to do the article >Besides, you seem to know him better than anyone >Take the company car, just try not to accidentally rip the door off its hinges this time >It might be a good idea to have you out of the office for awhile anyway >You keep zoning out and staring at the door to the women's restroom >Oh before you go, can you heat up my coffee with your laser beam eyes real quick? >Thanks, Clark

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Finally, Anon is happy.., | /r/Greentext

46m (8/25 2:09) 904916508 - 20 Re - 0 Img JPG 4KB (233 × 216) · download (4).jpg 9 Replies My groomer is in jail, good vibes >be me, 21F >be a dumbass and get groomed when 14 by a 20 year old dude >cut all contact with him after realizing how toxic he is >he keeps trying to add me on other accounts for over a year afterwards >Google his name to keep tabs and make sure he's staying away from me >he's currently in jail for possession of CP >read the court case >police found videos of 3-7 year old boys and girls getting r---- on his phone >he's still pleading not guilty and with a public defender ; LMAO he's so f-----. Or at least, he probably will be by the other inmates once they find out what he did. L p--- bozo

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femanon thinks everyone around her is disgusting | /r/Greentext

File: img.png (99 KB, 268x388) 272 im so tired Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)15:57:43 No.904924183 >be me >14 year old femanon >mom was abusive and killed herself when i was 4 (no questions please >dad and stepmom were kinda just meh at best, needed to get away >get into some sort of military program >be in it for most of my life, changed me for the better >get shipped off to japan >she wants nothing to do with him, and he embarrasses her >begin immediatly getting sidelined by my crush and his ex for the other kid >kinda cute tho >wake up >feels.png >red ocean, some tposing... things in the distance >the stacy friend of the kid is in the f------ sky >fuckfuckfuck >meet some f-- and his friends >have a hard crush for my guardian during the program >his ex is here >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >disgusting are all men like this guys? >split in half, essentially dead >phew >guy begins strangling me >probably some turbovirgin, i'll give him a sympathy touch >he cries on me

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Anon have sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/20(Sun)00:10:49 >oneitis looks exactly like pic related but brunette >always saw her as beautiful >find pic related >ask anons what they think >get made fun of >girl gets called a pig faced trailer trash slut >anons make fun of her make up, hair, and bad skin Daddy 71 KB JPG No.60816531 >realize that my oneitis is not really out of my league if anons are right >gather up the courage to ask her out on date >says yes >at the end of the date hugs me >says I should hit her up whenever I wanna go out because she's always bored at home >today we go on our 2nd date >we get tipsy on wine >end up kissing in my car Thanks, robots.

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Anon pretends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)16:27:26 No.74497490 >want to make friends >start acting like a normie >start dressing like one >quit my bad habits >be more hygenic >build up (false) confidence >go out and talk to new people >they all give you that "look" >no one wants to be your friend >they're cold and callous towards you >no matter how hard you try >you will always be an outsider >you can LARP as a normie all you want >but you never will be one >you will be alienated from society >absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this It's just so over 106 KB JPG

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Why slug more slug. | /r/Greentext

File: 1268793899267.jpg -(25577 B, 350x255) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>> Martin Cettingville Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:44:59 EST ID:qgkEo3Tq No.1008606A Report why slug more slug 1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology. 2- The snail use the shell beacause is a f------ faget. 3-snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it II still eat lettuce. 4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell. 5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved 6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug. 7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up. 8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first. 9-slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble. 10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget 11- slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow. 12- Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a f--- 13- slug didn't needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect James Cruzzlemot Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:50:06 EST ID:fill1UIQ No.1008626 maybe the best thing i have ever read A

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Anon's Persecution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >25yo kv 5'6 neet >dropped out of high school at 16 >chilling in my room doing nothing >parents yelling at me for no reason and threatening me to call the cops why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them, it's not my fault they made me ugly, why can't they just chill? i got a 31 year old sister, she has a chad bf, they may have grandchildren one day, who knows 286 KB PNG 06/29/23(Thu)12:40:57 No.73843525 >>73843728 # : Anonymous call the cops for what, were you doing something illegal 06/29/23(Thu)12:46:36 No.73843577 >>73843728 # Anonymous >>73843525 (OP) # >why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them Then why do you live in their house? 06/29/23(Thu)12:49:34 No.73843607

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https://www.reddit.com/user/FrostFollower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >a------ hairy since 12 >can't remember time when wiping easy >always wipe 50 times 10/27/20(Tue)23:19:59 No.838741229 >like cleaning muddy fishing net with tp >usually try to s--- just before shower >trimming pubes one day >going at gooch >go back farther >f--- it >trim asscrack >f--- it halfway there >shave crack and hole >takes like an hour >dont want to be cutting up my s------- >next day >s--- >wipe >wipe again >paper clean looking >w-- >did i miss the hole? >nope >just done wiping WHY THE F--- ISN'T THIS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL?

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Anon's trouble | /r/Greentext

28m (8/24 22:08) -904904624 1 Re-0 Img PNG 59KB (600 × 598) monkas-emote.png Am I gay now? >be me >fap to some giant t------ like any normal guy would >hold the c-- so I can cleanly release in the toilet >nice and clean.jpg >about to flush >urge to s--- >oh well, s--- since I'm in front of the toilet >wipe >c-- and s--- together on the paper am I gay now? ●●●

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Anon wishes he has appreciated his past life more | /r/Greentext

bg,181818-1al,750x,075 ---).Jpg (74 My miserable existence Anonymous 08/23/23(Wed)22:56:37 No.74488802 [Reply] >be me in 2020 >16 year old kissless virgin >extremely unhappy with my life despite it being fairly decent from other points of view >discover I have phimosis (tight foreskin) >doctor says a circumcision is mandatory >it goes sideways and he ends up cutting into my urethra and somehow splits my d--- in half >he gets fired and my parents sue him for malpractice >it takes 3 years of additional surgeries from other doctors to fix the botched surgery >penis is restored but looks horrible due to scarring from all the procedures >fast-forward to 2023 >now 19 years old and obviously still a kissless virgin >developed anxiety and depression, became introverted and lost the friendships I once had >smoke cigarettes and drink liquor to numb the pain >contemplate over how good my life was back then and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more I guess it was the universe's way of punishing me for whining like a little bitch despite not having any real problems

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Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)18:22:18 No.904925599 ► >be a dog >go absolutely f------ a------ at dinnertime >even though I'm eating the same s--- that I've eaten every day >of my entire life Are dogs literally retarded? How are they so easy to please?

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