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Greentext Stories - Dear Einstein | /r/Greentext

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File: 1251165846.jpg-(8 KB, 202x251, 1232076365291s.jpg) Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:04:06 No. 155131092 Dear Einstein, F--- you, you crazy f---. You think you're the s---, with your theory of relativity b-------? E = mc suck my d---. I invented m------------ gravity, so you don't have to tie yourself to your bed everynight to sleep. Best reevaluate your life n-----. Sincerely, Isaac Newton >>> Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:05:18 No. 155131333 File 1251165918.jpg-(95 KB, 590x775, Disregard females.jpg) DISREGARD FEMALES » Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:14:56 No. 155145794 File 1251170096.jpg-(26 KB, 446x480, nietzsche_portrait.jpg) dear locke Nietzsche Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:15:20 No. 155145881 File 1251170120.jpg-(38 KB, 316x400, Gottfried Wilhelm_von_Leibniz.jpg) Dear Newton, FIRST! -Leibniz ACQUIRE CURRENCY Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:06:48 No. 155131654 File 1251166008.jpg-(26 KB, 640x625, Albert Einstein.jpg) Dear Newton, F--- you, you c--- gargling f---. You think discovering gravity is tough, you stupid p------------? Try analyzing Brownian motion. I actually did s---... you just looked up f------ tree for f------ apples to eat. Leave the science to the real men. Sincerely Yours, Einstein P.S. You are what you eat, you f------ butt pirate. Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:08:57 No. 155132089 File 1251166137.jpg-(64 KB, 646x536, carl_sagan.jpg) What's with all the fighting? SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:11:59 No. 155132718 File 1251166319.jpg-(45 KB, 700x449, hawking.jpg) Oh you two, Both of you can go to hell. Bickering like children. I can f----- float dipshits. Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:17:11 No. 155146231 File 1251170231.jpg-(34 KB, 528x650, homer.jpg) do u liek it? Dear all, Without me, there is no Western Civilization. F--- all you. Sincerely, Homer Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:18:31 No. 155146486 File1251170311.jpg-(85 KB, 600x409, 1241215359241.jpg) yes, i lick it. >>155139113 just noticed this too, so much win ΧΟΧΟ the hawk Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:20:42 No. 155134565 File 1251166842.jpg-(54 KB, 407x497, albert-einstein.jpg) Dear Stephen Hawking. Quit trying to out do me you wheelchair bound cocksucker! You will never prove my theories incorrect. You are just a jealous cripple with no original ideas. I may be dead but at least I can still walk. I hope your colostomy bag pops.. Your's Truly, Albert Einstein Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:24:09 No. 155135319 File 1251167049.jpg-(3 KB, 122x130, images (1).jpg) Dear Sagan, F--- your popularization of science, when I tried that noise the Vatican came and shat on my d---. I figured out s--- because I INVENTED THE M------------ TELESCOPE. What technology did you invent, the f------ mad scientist hairstyle? Sincerely, Galileo Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:15:51 No. 155133559 File 1251166551.jpg-(22 KB, 315x304, Carl Sagan_Biography.jpg) Dear Newton, Get the F--- OUT. You can't invent gravity, you just f------ noticed that s--- can fall on your head. I f------ popularized science, you just invented math and f------ locked it away in a trunk. For F--- SAKE, if you're going to invent calculus, F------ TELL PEOPLE. Also, if I couldn't figure out the universe I understood that I didn't have the technology to yet, you just drew the conclusion that f------ god and jeebus intervened to keep your planets aligned. Sincerely, Carl Sagan P.S. I SMOKED WEED EVERY DAY COCKSUCKER Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:38:20 No. 155138322 File 1251167900.jpg-(114 KB, 662x826, Beethoven.jpg) Dear Mozart, I can't hear your soft s--- over the sound of my 9th symphony. Sincerely, Ludwig van Beethoven Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:49:10 No. 155140547 File 1251168550.jpg-(17 KB, 300x400, Kepler.jpg) Dear Newton, Without me you wouldn't have come up with you theory of universal gravitation. Sincerely, J. Kepler Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)22:51:47 No. 155141098 File 1251168707.jpg-(18 KB, 240x320, N.Tesla.jpg) Dear Edison, You filthy little American c---. You "invent" the lightbulb, and then you come in and try and steal MY show, a------? Well f--- you! My electricity powers cities, your s--- charges iPods. Suck a d---, m-----------. Iskreno, Nikola Tesla Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:02:39 No. 155143321 File 1251169359.jpg-(143 KB, 550x759, thomas_edison.jpg) Tesla, Suck a d---. Nice job with your super mega death ray and wireless power. BITCH! Sincerely Yours, Edison Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:02:58 No. 155143385 File 1251169378.jpg-(23 KB, 226x315, Eratosthenes..jpg) Dear All of you Newfags, You may all kiss my arse right in the raw bloody part. I discovered the circumfrence of the Earth in Alexandria before 300bc. All of you can smoke my fat ROUND pisspumper. You are all welcome, Eratosthenes Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:03:03 No. 155143390 File 1251169383.jpg-(92 KB, 311x420, Marco.jpg) Dear Polo, Where the F--- are: you?! Sincerely, Marco Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:05:30 No. 155143884 File 1251169530.jpg-(11 KB, 250x356, Niels Bohr.jpg) Dear Einstein, Well it appears God does Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:18:44 No. 155146524 File1251170324.jpg-(58 KB, 440x599, 440px-Bernini-Urban8.jpg) Dear Galileo, What are you doing out of your house? Sincerely. Pope Urban VIII Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:19:26 No. 155146651 File1251170366.jpg-(11 KB, 200x290, 200px-Curie-nobel-portrait-2-6(...).jpg) >>155146022 Dear Bill Nye F--- Off, I have TWO Nobels, and I have t---. Sincerely, Marie Curiel Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:19:31 No. 155146669 File 1251170371.jpg-(122 KB, 607x781, Ørsted.jpg) Dear Faraday, Maxwell, etc., You're welcome for me discovering electromagnetism. Don't be jealous that the unit named after me is the IUPAP adopted term and yours aren't. F------. Regards, Oersted Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:21:20 No. 155147066 File 1251170480.jpg-(9 KB, 340x336, descartes.jpg) me a sandwich, bitch Descartes >>155146651 Dear Marie I wish i were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves Also, go back to the kitchen and make Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:22:12 No. 155147251 File 1251170532.jpg-(10 KB, 200x236, Locke.jpg) Dear Jefferson, Its the pursuit of property you d-------. W-- is that happiness crap. Sincerely, John Locke Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:23:52 No. 155147629 File1251170632.jpg-(7 KB, 168x232, Pierrecurie.jpg) >>155147066 Ahem... She's MY bitch, Descartes. F--- Off Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:24:11 No. 155147695 File1251170651.jpg-(57 KB, 569x600, 569px-Thomas_Hobbes_(portrait).jpg) Dear Locke, F--- your noise, my theory of Natural Rights wided your f------ face in s---. How can you f------ disagree about the State of War? F------ Idealist.. Sincerely, Hobbes Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:24:15 No.155147705 File 1251170655.gif-(5 KB, 200x175, stirner.gif) Sincerely, Max Stirner >>155145794 Dear Nietzsche, You're a f------ plagiarist. Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:25:36 No. 155148003 File 1251170736.jpg-(8 KB, 294x400, freud.jpg) Dear everyone. I know all this rage is just because you need to vent the sexual frustration you have from your mom not giving you any sexy time. you guys may have dis dildo, but remember this: i know what all of you are thinking and dreaming. peace bitches. freud Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:27:04 No. 155148297 File 1251170824.jpg-(93 KB, 400x484, Louis Pasteur.jpg) To whom it may concern: Got milk? play dice. Sincerely, Neils Bohr Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:06:27 No. 155144057 Epic thread... so epic Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:07:39 No. 155144313 File 1251169659.jpg-(47 KB, 514x599, 514px-Nikolaus Kopernikus.jpg) Dear previous Astronomers, F--- you all, I was the first to replace the Earth with the Sun as the center of the universe. Sincerely, Nikolaus Kopernikus Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:09:08 No. 155144626 File 1251169748.jpg-(158 KB, 721x893, Francis Bacon.jpg) F--- all of you I invented Bacon. /thread Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:11:04 No. 155145010 File1251169864.jpg-(42 KB, 425x502, leonardo.jpg) Dear all of you. I made s--- that inspired the Wright brothers, and all the so-called scientists out there, and people are making books and movies based on my fine work. F--- off... Sincerely, Leonardo Da Vinci. GOT MILK? I f------ thought so. Sincerely, Louis Pasteur Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:27:41 No.155148425 File 1251170861.jpg-(17 KB, 335x400, pythagoras.jpg) Dear anyone that's taken. math, Ha ha, bitches! - Pythagoras Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:28:03 No. 155148498 File1251170883.jpg-(159 KB, 516x472, thomas-jefferson-big.jpg) Dear Locke, I didn't see you found a F------ COUNTRY! If you had so many problems with England, why didn't you fix them? D--- Sincerely, Jefferson Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:29:12 No. 155148736 File1251170952.jpg-(35 KB, 200x287, carl_jung.jpg) Carl Jung >>155148003 Dear Freud. You are no longer relevant to modern-day psychology, are inferior to me, and are one of the single most overrated public intellectuals of the last few centuries. Sincerely, Anonymous 08/24/09(Mon)23:30:01 No. 155148895 File 1251171001.jpg-(50 KB, 304x372, Euclid.jpg) Euclid >>155148425 Dear Pythagoras, You didn't write anything down. Nobody knows who the f--- you are. Unlike me. Sincerely,

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