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shoresoftheshadowlands toxeh SUPERSTR DUEI hellmas: me: mom please get me a boyfriend for valentines day. mom: i will try. instead she got me this giant cucumber, a bottle of lube, a condom, and on a sticky note she wrote "this was the best I could do - love mom 42,996 notes け ツ

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Uploaded by The Grim Heaper Feb 15, 2015 at 12:34AM EST

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sealedbeastnue "what time is it" you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce "it is cloudy" Source: sealedbeastnue 10,973 notes D
bunney if ur hair covers ur bu have mermaid hair and are a mermaid i dont make the rules unclewhisky As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds. sashaforthewin You are a mermaid, sir 80
zagreus Jun 16, 2022 Shoutout to the comedy duo of TSA agents I just encountered, one of whom called me "sir," the other of whom called me "ma'am," both of whom apologized in unison, each thinking the other was right ✓ somewhere-south-of-neutral Follow Aug 9 New henchpeople idea dropped 105,711 notes on
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Uploaded Feb 15, 2015 at 12:34AM EST

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cucumber, condom, valentine's day, lube

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