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GamerGate - /r/KotakuInAction wins "Subreddit of the Day" award

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my odd my skill for writin writing a feature than the rest not going to make people happy. What it's understanding of what I feel and why I feel it. It's going to talk about the subreddit in question, r/kotakulnAction and why I feel it It's roughly written (outside of this introduction it was d subreddit foousing around senious discussion was one of the best. What made me better than my colleagues? My priority was on the people using the subreddit. My helped. If someone had a question, I answered it. I afforded everyone as much decency and respect as I would afford e other moderators there, this was a t was never about people, it was about the industry, Conventions, interviews, access, whatever. They relished what minor power being a moderator some internet forum had given them and did not think highly to being equal to those they moderated. They justified t with insults to these people, saying even that the users were idiots for not knowing every detail of every piece reddit. It made me sick. I had become the PR manager of the subreddit out of necessity, Nobody else could do the job n the first place. I'm happy the other mods didnt get put i that position, as these industry folks were the very people those mods insulted. Those people didn't deserve t When this #GamerGate stuff started there was a a rock and a hard place, but some of ideas of getting out of that position. Mine was that we treat it like any other news story: allow discussion and links but ban direct harassment and doxing. That was always the policy. Others wanted complete censorship. Obviously that's what they went with. I've always been a proponent for free speech and an opponent of censorship, If the reason that the articles and discussion were banned was out of legitimate concern for the community I would've been okay with that. I wasn't okay with censoring information out of personal bias, vendetta, and outright fabrications. I will never be okay with that. However, I wasnt in a position to fight it. GamerGate was a very small thing back then, and I thought it would blow over thread dedicated to a quite neutral opinion on the topic, and further banning users involved in pro-GamerGate with this. A moderat information about censorship, administrator involvement, stuff like that. It was several pages. Immediately after it posting I was accused of being the leak. During and after reading through it I posted various inaccuracies that shot some holes in that theory; I a noticeable lack of information from private sources being chief among them. It didn't sway the person who first accused me. He was adamant, Insistent even, that I was the only one it could be. His evidence? I was strongly anti- o indeed swear quite a bit I am indeed anti-censorship, but even to the others this was shaky reasoning. I started investigating and came believe it was someone who could access one but not the other. My original guess was an IRC global operator who could spy on channels without us knowing, but that went nowhere because they promised it wasn't any of them after the accuser asked their friend on the staff. My second guess was a former moderator who had access to our IRC room (and idled often in there) but not to our modmail. This moderator left the mod team after very vocal opinions on the subjects of social justice, equality, and related topics became too much for him. He could not argue for these ideas with our users and remain a moderator, so he resigned. I respect him for that. I respected him for a lot of things. I suspected this moderator of doing so because outside of the snoonet operators and outside of the accuser himself nobody else came close to possibly doing it. I shared these thoughts with another moderator, and he thought the same. Still, it was only some hours later before the accuser successfully banned me from the subreddit, IRC, and back At first I was distraught. I made a statement expressing disbelief, and it took me a whole day before it really sunk in. Even the other moderators couldn't believe it. Still, there it was. I was even more shocked to see the characte assassination and direct attacks against me. Reddit employees were calling me out publicly. This is to be expected, of course. The correct thing to do is to lie down and take it. To think that your position as a moderator on reddit would mean enough that you wouldn't dare go up against those accusations. If you do nothing you can be a mod somewhere else, get back to the table, and everything is fine. If you stand up for yourself, though? They will come at you with everything they've got. They thought they knew me when I was a moderator there. I didn't like to make waves if I could avold it and I didn't like causing anyone trouble. I was nice to everyone, including them, and they thought I was man defends himselt from those that do wrong, and a brave man is exactly what Mr. and Mrs. Mendel raised. When I happened. I hugged a friend (in a completely innocent way, being asexual and all), and she seemed a bit scared. I was physically much, much bigger than her and it intimidated her. I wasn't at all aware of it because I take it for granted, but it made me rethink how I handle myself. The same thing happened when I defended myself. I did it too well, and it came off as a major attack against them. My strategy was simple: tell the truth. You'd be surprised how much a liar to And they did do anything and everything, for a while at least. Harassment, lies, threats, Isolation, they did all and more and it didn't work. I made it clear: every time they attacked me I would delend myself from it. They tell a lie, I tell the truth. It's amazing what sort of a shield that is. Eventually they come to fear you and the things you might say. I got tired of the back and forth and threatened once for myself: Attack again and I'll release everything know You see, I'm meticulous and slightly forgetful. I take notes, record things, and track information in order to keep it all in my head. I do it for everything: TV shows, movie series, the works, of course I did this with reddit as well. I never intended for it to be used for anything more than reminding myself of what mod sald what or what account belongs to fears a drop of truth cowers under the fear of a flood. It kept me safe for a while. of course, that only bothered the Last year I worked in education teaching programming to college students as an adjunct. The pay was bad but I loved much for and was a lang. However, someone changed that. A former friend found out about the things I was doing online: y that I care ption, and fighting for tr shut me up they should take my job. They contacted my employer and wove a tale that was sure to get my fired. him I was a keep my job, but with such a record there was no way I could've stayed. Even if I stayed I was already gone. I haven't spoken to that friend much since, only through the occasional email he sends me asking me to reconsider my positions year ago I was a person who loved video games. I was a gamer who loved talking about games so much that I happy. I can't say for certain. It's hard to remember what the light felt like when you live your life huddled in the harassment and sexism. 1 support women and minorities in STEM (and taught and worked beside many), and 1 hate the idea of old bays clubs". Do I support LGBT rights? People tend to forget that asexuals are a part of that "LGBT the chance anyone can be incredible. The idea that because I support GamerGate I must not support these things i transparency and honesty when their make the decision to support GamerGate. Its opposition pushed me into them and I accepted their kindness. I would've supported the other side if GamerGate had been the bad one, but that wasn't the case. It still isn't the what is GamerGate to me? What is KotakuInAction, GamerGate's reddit hub? I wasn't as evil and worthless as others were calling me. It's the idea that I am not a monster simply for pissing off a angry forum moderat a waste, and that care. Most GamerGate is the confirmation that my dreams of ethical behavior are right. That amid a crowd of hundreds who call m wrong, there are thousands more who support me, we forget sometimes about the silent majority, and for a long time I forget they existed. They're here now, and they helped me a great deal. They saw the people wishing I would stop talking and said "Nol Speak your mind! They saw the people wishing me dead and said "No! They're wrong about youl They saw the people hating me, and lying about me, and scheming to take me down, and they said "No. Come with us and we'll see that justice is served. I needed to hear those words, and they said them. For a Subreddit of the Day post this is a bit unorthodox. I could have done an artidle filled with citations to different artidles and links to different fact sheets but I didn't. That isn't what I'm about.I wanted to tell you why I believe that tell you why I am willing to take the increased harassment for talking about this. I am willing to do it because I upbringing. From a rotting vacant in Pittsburgh to a cheap house in Tampa, my beliefs have been impacted wouldn't wish on anyone, and I've experienced joy I hope all people get to experience. I've been a stock boy, a bunger Through all my thirty years of life I have kept one thing in mind: I am a product of Earth and nothing more. I am n A person's belilefs are not determined by whoever yells at them the loudest. My beliefs represent my courage, and I anyone tell me I'm worthless. Someone told me recently that I'm unlikable as a human being. They were wrong. Deep down I believe we're all great, wonderful people. Some lose their way now and again, and that's fine so long as they can find it. I take a lot of flak for saying this, more so than I could ever understand given the subject, but I'l say it again: You're awesome, all of you, and I'm glad to help you in any way I can. this. Not only was finally writing this all down helpful for informing those who were ( also my head and onto a page. ago I was hovering over the submit button for suicidewatch, thinking to myself, "oh Xavier, how far must you sink t Thank you again for reading. Now, finally, it's time to hear from the mods of /r/KotakutnAction. In particular I'm going e talking to one mod who has been nothing but kind to me, so let's give him a warm welcome. the I play video games and talk about t ota e, but it's also for talking about general issues the video game, etc sum practices in games journalism. It deals with issues of nepotism, collusion between competing publications spinning the news for certain people/topics, among others. It's the culmination of years of gamers distrusting the rters and detractors believe what they We're invested in video games, to see them abuse their status to benefit or damage people or games. As for GamerGate's detractors, I think it's a combination of seeing the worst of the Internet that's been associated with GamerGate, and a belief that we're t and sexism that has been attributed GamerGate supporters, most notably by major media outlets. I think a o really communicate with one another. Both sides are looking for ways to discredit major figures on either end the spectrum, and being able to have a productive conversation about these issues has become impossible. Attempts have been made before, but were seen as "fraternizing with the enemy," which further keeps a e anything else you would like to s u/TheHat2 The people on KIA truly beleve that GamerGate is a cause worth fighting for. we feel we've been There you have it. Hat has been a helpful person to me for the past year. He's kept me in the loop, given me a place to talk about what's been going on, and he's introduced me to an audience that is dying to hear about it. Imagine that, people actually wanting to hear me talk. Hilarious. Be sure to check out /r/KotakuInAction if you're interested in This has been your fortune, Xavier Mendel, signing As an aside, today is also my 31st birthday. Feel free to send milkshakes. Party at my house, and you're all invited

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