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Somebody say "mecha"?

…how did you get on the ship?

(Over ship intercom):
"Put him in a locker with 3 days worth of field rations and seal it shut. Then bring the locker down to the cargo bay so I can mount a torpedo motor and a guidance system on it."

"You got it, cap"
Stuffs Bacon Boy in the locker and drags it down to the cargo bay
"Someone order a locker?"

So, how far are we from our destination?

"Let's see…estimates are a few weeks…I fear for our rations…"

Fear not, i bought some supplies before we got here. And i would have bought more if i had more spears to sell with me.

Status report?

(calling from comm): Doing well over here.

(replies over commlink)

"Still making those boarding pods. I have no idea what we're going to shoot them at yet. In any case, you never know when you'll need boarding pods."

"Engineering, what is your status?"

KNOCK KNOCK, WHO'S THERE?

ME! ME ! ME ME ME! ME!

(Comm):Uhhh, guys…..I think Doom Guy got on our ship

Not for long!

Hey guys I'm back from from ripping high quality intergalactic ri-- okay what's going on now

We've got doom guy and pyro on our ship. Do you have any idea on how to get them out?

"There's only one way to get rid of them"
starts loading up a shotgun, and cocks it

(Over commlink)

"Capture them alive. We need them to stuff into our makeshift boarding pods."

(Comm)
"Sigh, fine. I guess I'll just use the tranq gun"
pulls out a similar looking shotgun, with the only difference being a yellow barrel
(Comm) "I'm gonna need help from all ready crewmates. We're dealing with two well known murderers. One of them being the guy who killed the entirety of Hell's Army".

(over commlink)

"Hold on, I'll try to seal them in one of the corridors before we'll knock em out."

(fiddles with auxilliary control panel)

Umm, guys, is it normal to see the death egg?

Over commlink
Guess not, we're just passing over the sonic universe I think…

None of you understand… I'm not locked in here with you… You're locked in here with ME!

[BFG division starts playing]

"…..Yeah, fuck this"
Runs out of the room, locking every door behind me

(music is interrupted as Justnoway's commlink chirps)

"Suit up, lieutenant. You're going to board the next enemy ship we run into. You're to secure any valuable assets you come across, including the following: fiestaware, slightly-used hotel pool towels, showers (as in the whole fixture and pipes), and Baltimore Orioles baseball cards from around A.D. 1988."

(over commlink)

"Mr. Burgundy, you have the bridge. I need to a file a report with the metallic throne in the little captain's room."

(dashes furiously towards the restroom)

Runs into the bridge, perfectly landing on the captains chair
(Comm) : I NEED ALL AVAILABLE CREW TO HELP ME APPREHEND THE DOOM GUY.

No need to shout, i'm right next to you!

And I'm right next to him thanks to main protagonist magic…

So I am basically stuck with some random student?

(over commlink)

"Uh, where did this talking rabbit come from? I don't remember us picking it up nor it being on the cargo manifest."

(comm) : I let 'em on, boss. They're a good friend, and I know they can help us fix this clusterfuck of a ship

Let's be real, this clusterfuck of a ship can't be repaired.

What is the most valuable ore here?

"How and why are people appearing in our ship?!"

Kyon, did you leave the teleporter on?

(steps out of space toilet)

"That's the last time I eat Talaxian burritos. Now then, where were we?"

"Doomguy is still in the hallway, a miner and a talking rabbit appeared on the ship, and the pyro is still locked in the locker"

And kyon is missing

Banging noises from one of the space lockers

opens the space locker
"there you are"

Someone find the bunny now! she trapped me in here!

And why didn't you call earlier?

Duh, I was trapped in the locker, we have no signal there

Okay, i'll take care of the lopunny, i just need a Flesh-Render Fang.
Kyon, could you pass me one?

"Wait, why the hell was our security chief trapped in a locker?"

(pulls out a whisky flask and takes a swig)

lopunny attacked him from behind. No need to worry. As soon as i get my weapon, she's toast.

Passes the fang, the right type at least
"We're gonna hunt wabbit tonight huh?"

(Runs in with a hammer with a blue head with a trinity symbol, clad in dark armour.)
Did someone say hunt?

Knocks out miner
"Nice try fooling me"

he, he, he, he, he, he,