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Restrain him with duct tape and stick him in an empty storage locker. (The last thing we need is our space ship getting holes in it.)

"Mmmmmn! mmm-mmmmmn!"

Fine.
(Opens locker and throws in a GBA SP with Pokemon LeafGreen in it.)
(Closes and locks locker)

Shuts up and plays the game

Finally let him out of the locker and release his bindings.

Gasps "Thanks, felt like Haruhi was doing her bondage fetishes again…."

A-Train x Kyon bdsm fic when?

Why did mission control send me up with a road sign?

Oh well. Can't have this be a floating hazard.

(takes OTL and sticks him in a tool locker)

Perhaps the sign was trying to say something…

Huh, maybe…
(opens locker and looks at sign)
It's just a bunch of squiggles and I didn't bring my Klingon or my Aurebesh translator guide.
(closes locker)

what is happening here

(restrains Rick with duct tape and shoves him into the empty storage locker and locks it)

"Did you just throw another user into the storage locker?"

"Get me out of here, NOW!"

(opens the adjacent locker and removes Justnoway)
Ok, how'd you end up in there? Because I'm pretty sure I stuffed a sign and a crazy scientist into the lockers, not a paramilitary operative.

"We're in trouble now…"

"We're in trouble now…"

ITT: Kyon and A-Train's honeymoon trip to space

crashing this spaceship, WITH NO SURVIVORS

(seizes Justnoway's Arc Thrower and zaps him with it.)
"I can't let you do that, Dave."
(restrains Justnoway with duct tape and sticks him in the tool locker with that road sign and locks it)

"OK i think he is stuffing random users in the locker…"
Do me a favour and throw mako in there

I'm unsure if should engage the hostiles at close range.

(Opens locker to find a middle-aged man with a sweater and a headset.)
I'm pretty sure I stuck a paramilitary operative in here.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED HERE!?"
Goes into a panic

"Possibly. For now, calm down while I figure out what the hell is going on with the lockers on this ship."

"Okay"
Keeping calm and thinks about his harem

"How do I piss in space?"

You ever wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity?

No but I want to find out.

(ignores Scott's weird ramblings and continues to investigate the "transdimensional" lockers on the ship)

Hey A-Train, you wanna have a fun time?~

Nobody wants to have sex in space, it doesn't sound like a good idea. Do you have any idea how hard it would be to do it, nevermind give birth in space as well.

Well, how else are we supposed to pass the time?

Well, we could always violate the Prime Directive…

Okay, but which alien species should we tamper with?

Let's see…
(spins the "Wheel of Alien Fuckery")
…
…
…
Ok, we're going to tamper with the Tellarites. (Basically they're space dwarves.)

Looks it up on Space Google
I…don't think I want to put my dick in that.

Well you can argue that with them. They LOVE arguing.

Well, are there any non-ugly aliens out there?

Well, there are Orion chicks, but they're expensive as hell.

How expensive? Like, a few hundred or well over a thousand?
(btw: I know almost nothin' about Star Trek)

We're gonna need a need at least a couple thousand to hire one.

(I'll try to make it as general as possible. Orions are basically a race of (shrewd) green space hookers.)

Well, are there any races that won't make us bankrupt?

We could always try going Trill.
(You know the Goa'uld from Stargate? They're basically their good alignment counterpart.In the Trek-verse)

Well, what're we waiting for? Let's get this fuckin' party started!

Setting course for the Trill homeworld. Plaid factor 2!
(We're not just going to plaid, we're going to TWO TIMES PLAID)

Instantly fly back cause we're going so fast
"WE'VE GONE BEYOND LUDICROUS SPEED"

Fuck, I knew we should've picked up inertial dampeners for this thing!!!

"SOMEONE STOP THIS CRAZY THIIIIIIIIIINNNGG"

(slowly crawls to the controls and fumbles around with the various buttons and levers)