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Status Update:

We checked on Kaijin in the cupboard today and discovered that he has made his own off-brand version of us.in his catatonic state.

After summarily executing all of the ones that spoke in a cockney accent, we are actually quite impressed with the results and have been teaching them tricks, such as how to strike a dynamic pose, juggling and paying taxes.

In other news, we have discovered that the humans seem only able to identify us through our helmets. We have been switching helmets for the last three days and none of them seem to have noticed yet.

This has left both us and the other non-human members of the group concerned that they may be suffering from some sort of failing in their mental faculties as we are all such unique and distinct individuals.

Number 15 and Immundusia seem to be under the impression that fish can help improve the cognitive abilities of humans; so starting from today and until we see improvements, we will be making them all eat three cans of sardines everyday.

Can I have my sardines in a pizza? Or do I have to eat them raw?

Well, since the Omega 3's are mainly in the oil, we'll try cooking first.

If we see no results in two weeks, then it will be raw.

Finally, if we see no results after two weeks of this, we will just have to inject it straight into your brain through your eyeballs.

We've crunched the numbers and there should only be a 40% casualty rate with this last option, which is well within acceptable limits.

That's some Aperture Labs way of speaking right there….
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Also, how did you do during the celebrations held after Britain won against Germany in the Eurocup? I've heard that there were only some mild explosions.

The entire of Southern Kent has been banned from watching England matches at Dream Land in Margate as we celebrated so hard we broke a few tables, trashed the viewing area and accidently caused the entire 10ft X 20ft screen to fall over and smash.

So all in all, things have been pretty standard so far.

If we win tomorrow and get to the finals, no work will be accomplished until Saturday due to the massive hangovers we are all going to have.

If we win this, the EU will collapse out of shame and despair as we ride the save and set out to reconquer Normandy on a Nation-Sized bender.

I just can't begin to describe how much I laughed after reading that, so I'll just say "LOL"

"REMOVE SHIRLEY remove Shirley you are worst girl. you are the girl idiot you are the girl smell. return to Kylfurt Empire. to our Kylfurt cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,america we will never forgeve you. burger rascal FUck but fuck asshole girl stink america kiwi kiwi..girl genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead girl..ahahahahahAMERICA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .new zealand we kill the rugby team, new zealand return to your precious australia….hahahahaha idiot girl and american smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE SHIRLEY FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+uk+kylfurt+slovak=kill america…you will ww2/ tupac alive in weebistan, tupac making album of weebistan . fast rap tupac weebistan we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink girl… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt

tupac alive numbr one #1 in weebistan ….fuck the kylfurt empire ,..FUCKk ashol girl no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real strong wizard kill all the girl farm aminal with rap magic now we the weebs rule .ape of the zoo presidant Kommando Kaijin fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and america wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. weebistan greattst countrey"

-Number 15, just before the Great Punch-Up of '82

RIP Number 15, his insanity will live on.

Does this have anything to do with any sort of sportsball?

I might post soon if I can decide whether or not to draw a couple more things before getting the ball rolling. I just finished a brief outline of what I wanted to do plot-wise, but I'm still a little ways to being finished.

Oh, no.

Remove Kebab is one of my favourite copy-pastas and I thought a parody would fit the theme of this thread.

It has nothing to do with the damn dirty Italians or our inability to win a penalty shootout, ever.

It's good to hear you're making steady progress and I can't wait to see what you've cooked up.

In the meantime, as we wait for Kaijin to do his thing, I'll take Jamie and Sam over to the gym.
I once saw a drawing of a buff dude lifting weights with a similarly buffed girl and I've wanted our forces to look like that.
And as Jamie and Sam get ripped I'll be, eh ummm, guarding the nearest snack dispensor machines, you know to make sure Kaijin doesn't get any ideas and we end up having a disaster like in that episode of Invader Zim, you know the one, the one with the muffin.

I am fully prepared for the reckoning I so rightfully deserve, so I'm getting in the counter-bantz early.

A real man fights Panzer(bot)s at close range!

At last, somebody had to say it.

Because I'm a Good Friend™ I even linked back to Kaijin's Newgrounds profile on my Deviant Art with a special message to pass on to him as well, so he knows that I've sent them there.

(Bursts into a giggling mess)

• >Using Melee attacks against tank robots.

Careful what you wish for…

(Also, I consider most of my main characters balanced in the context of their actual intended settings and the more unbalanced characters (Castiellea, Varicella) are usually intended as more of side characters than main characters. J's a bit of an interesting case as she's definitely OP in a normal situation, but say, if a certain very tall, very pale and very skinny person showed up it would be almost a fair fight with it being 50/50 as to who would win. Immundusia is kind of a shitpost character who doesn't really belong to or appear in any of my Universes, so there's not really any canon metric to compare her to anyways.)

• Castiellea's also supposed to be 6'8" or a single inch shorter than J.

>Castiellea's also supposed to be 6'8" or a single inch shorter than J.

But Mah Symmetry!

But Mah Tall Ladies!

But Mah Shitpost!

But Mah Super Shitpost!

But Mah Ultra Super Shitpost!

But Mah Artist Wrist Cramps And Back Aches!

But Mah Unquenchable Thirst!
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I can do this all night Kaijin, or should I say "Gayjin"?

But Mah Proppah PostureI

There's a joke to make about me having a folder full of unseen R34 of my OCs here, but I'm not witty enough to make it without sounding like a complete weirdo.

Welp, I'll probably start as soon as I finish some unrelated artworks so I can focus on it.

How Kaijin Incorporated is run:

How Soup King Productions is run:

Remember when I said that I was gonna hit the gym with Jamie and Sam?
Well, I don't think that's gonna happend anytime soon considering that Jamie is dead and seems to have been dead for at least 3 months, as for Sam, all she seems to do now is just staying in her bedroom streaming shows on her phone (curse the day I used Kaijin's credit card to buy it) and browse KYM.
The only reason this church hasn't fell apart is because I managed to get #96 reprogrammed and I also arranged a deal with him, I won't force him to wear that nandroid dress as long as he keeps the church in check, as for his reprogramming, all that was done it's that he was programmed to always do his part of any deal, no matter how unreasonable it is.

Status Update

We were looking through Kaijin's medical history to see if we could discover the source of the affliction strickening him and have come across some mention of repetitive strain injury and muscle cramps.

Unfortunately no one hear knows how to do massages.

Well, Sam claims she does, but there is no way we're leaving her by herself with any biological male, let alone one incapable of moving.

So, we have done the next best thing and set about him with sticks in order to tenderise his muscles and allow him to regain fluidity to his limbs.

The good news is that he is no longer stiff.

The bad news is that he is now far too floppy.

We have tied his feet to an air vent and turned him into an impromptu Tube Man for the time being.

None of us are sure if this will help with the healing process, but it has definitely made our days much more entertaining.

Will update again if any noticeable events occur.

Wacky Waving Arm-Flailing Kaijin!
Wacky Waving Arm-Flailing Kaijin!
Wacky Waving Arm-Flailing Kaijin!
Hi, I'm Quiet_boi, President and CEO of Quiet_boi's Wacky Waving Arm Flailing Kaijin Emporium and Warehouse! Thanks to a shipping error I am now currently overstocked on wacky waving arm flailing Kaijins, and I am passing the savings on to you! Attract customers to your business, Make a splash at your next presentation, Keep grandma company, Protect your crops. Confuse your neighbors, African American? Hail a cab! Testify in church, Or just raise the roof! Whatever your wacky waving arm flailing Kaijin needs are! So come on down to Quiet_boi's Wacky Waving Arm Flailing Kaijin Emporium and Warehouse! Route 2 in Weekapaug.

Status Update:

Disaster has struck!

I was playing Russian Folk music to Kaijin's comatose body in order to transform him from Kommando_Kaijin, the All-American Manly Man, into Komrade_Kaijinov, the Snivelling Soviet Spy, when the girls asked me what language I was singing in.

Forgetting that there is no "Russia" here, or even "America", we were both quickly outed as talentless bums who dimension hop in order to write down the lives of other people and sell them as fictional stories in our dimension.

After numerous atomic wedgies and repeated theft of my lunch money; I relented and took them to our dimension.

They were thoroughly unimpressed with my living conditions, with the general consensus being "Shit dawg, you live like this?".

They left to visit Kaijin's residence two days ago and I have not heard from them since.

To the best of my knowledge, they have yet to discover Kaijin's Sekrit Dokuments yet, but really it's only a matter of time before they do.

All in all, I have to say that this whole experience hasn't been Cheeki Breeki at all in the slightest.

What a misfortune, I was wearing my favourite Addidas sneakers for the Hardbass party, now I'll have to take em' off.

Kitty Hawk would scan my computer, initially become excited and interested in the stash of PS2, GameCube and Dreamcast ROMs only for her face to immediately snap to a deadpan smile in an attempt to hide her horror as she slowly reaches for her sidearm.

Castiellea would have foreseen this, she is unfazed as always.

Shirley would have no idea what she's looking at and probably wouldn't be computer literate enough to find it anyways.

Sharla would go into a confused panic, but like her sister, probably wouldn't be computer literate enough to find it anyways.

J would be completely confused, she would have no idea what was she was looking at and would be confused as to why someone would think of her as something besides a human weapon.

Amelie would just stand there confused.

Azraella would be stuck between whether or not she should react violently.

Lucy & Jenna would just react with a "Huh."

Hera would begin death staring and charging through walls while shouting death threats.

Lee would be disgusted and would probably say something along the lines of "Fucking Loser."

Tex would be unfazed, only saying "…Yeah, I get that a lot."

A character who I shall not introduce by name yet would grimace before mockingly announcing "Jesus Christ, get a girlfriend you fucking autistic weirdo!" before immediately realizing that her statement was rather hypocritical of her considering that she's never had much in the way of any sort of relationship and is kind of the aggressively complaining type that spends more time complaining about her problems than doing something about them, additionally, she also has a stash of ultra-cringe-tier R34-fanfics, making her equally as much of a weirdo in that regard.

Another new character who I shall not introduce by name would be confused by it and begin asking "Why are your kind so obsessed with seeing each other disrobed?"

Now, to get over a minor productivity funk and back to drawing things relevant to this thread.

>Now, to get over a minor productivity funk and back to drawing things relevant to this thread.

Once again, Russian Hardbass has prevailed.

That deserves some celebration

What do High-Density East Slavic Perciformes have to do with anything?

Because with sick beats like this:

Any writer's block can be overcome.

The Spice(y shitposts) must flow.

Oh, no, it's it not writer's block, I've just been busy IRL the past few days and haven't had much time to draw. My schedule just got disrupted a little, I know exactly what I'm going to do… I just haven't had the time to do it yet.

(Also, I use Grunge, 90's Alternative Rock some Punk to come up with the stuff I'm working on here. If I was making it a movie and not a loose collection of comic pages connected by text-walls, I'd use songs by Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, The Offspring and Red Hot Chili Peppers and the outlier of Ollie & Jerry's "Breakin' …There's No Stopping Us." in the action scenes, which it would probably just be a near-non-stop rapid-firing of with tiny bits of plot here and there to explain why a 7-foot tall WW1 robot guy and his church pals are running to and fro to fight characters with personalities that reek of the author being a tad bit of an edgelord in denial.)

Perfectly reasonable… But, you shouldn't even think that you are an edgelord… Unless you have a trench coat somewhere in which case you would be one.
Also, if you do have a trench coat, can I borrow it sometime? It's not to scare a large crowd in an area with a dense population and get myself in prison, I swear.

You, sir, have an excellent taste in music.

May I introduce you to some lesser know English Punk bands?

Stiff Little Fingers:

New Model Army:

The Ruts:

Anti-Nowhere League:

And I'm also going to include a Swedish band at the end here as well, because they're really good.

Perkele:

You are far too young and wholesome to be a voyeur, young man.

I-I'm not wholesome! I'm an angry edgelord like Kaijin, just look!…
Butt! Boob! Penis!…uhhh… Cum!………..uhhh… Hentai?… Hand holding?… Headpats?
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I'll come up with more, I swear.

You are like a child, watch closely…

The following events were so lewd and fetishistic that they prompted God himself to alter the timeline to remove them.

As for the trenchcoat, yes and no: I have the bottom half of a trenchcoat, I call it a trenchskirt. No you can't have it, I'm wearing it.

Hmm, now that I think about it, I'll just give you guys my edgy and skater-ish 90's/2000's playlist, it's as follows:
Nirvana-Lithium, Foo Fighters-Monkey Wrench, Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit, Foo Fighters-Aurora, Oasis-Wonderwall, Oasis- Listen Up, NIN-Closer, Korn-Falling Away From Me, David Bowie and Trent Reznor-I'm Afraid of Americans, Soundgarden-Black Hole Sun, Primus-Jerry Was a Racecar Driver, Speed Dealer-Screamer, Blauhaus-Fish Cakes, Ethyl Meatplow- Close to You, Tonic- Future Says Run, Incubus- Pardon Me, Papa Roach- Blood Brothers, Lag Wagon-May 16th, Millecolin- No Cigar, Sum 41- It Makes No Difference, CKY-96 Quite Bitter Beings, Bodyjar-Not The Same, Zebrahead-Check, Goldfinger-Spokesman, Less Than Jake- All My Friends Are Metal Heads, Sistem of a Down- Shimmy, SoaD- Toxicity, SoaD- Chop Suey, Limp Bizkit-Rollin', Red Hot Chilli Peppers-Fight Like a Brave, Limp Bizkit- Break Stuff, Evanecense- Wake Me Up Inside, Linkin Park- In the End, Avril Lavigne- It's Complicated, Avril Lavigne- Skater Boy, White Zombie- More Human Than Human, Rob Zombie- Meet the Creeper, Rob Zombie-Dragula, Pearl Jam-Evenflow, Disturbed-Decadence, Mastodon-Blood and Thunder.
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And those are all the ones I deem important, sorry for the excess of exposition but if you wanna blame someone for it, blame King, he started it when he put on that nice-ass playlist…
And my siblings for helping to define some of the music that I've come to love

Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before they found us out.

Actually, now I’m wondering if they know anything about me.

I send an astral projection to you to show what I look like.
At the center is a core 3 meters in diameter. There are 5 sets of wings, all more or less perpendicular to each other (set in 4 dimensions, the extra wings move around freely).
A subtle, bright white cloud surrounds the core. Looking closely would reveal that these are actually monster souls. Some of them are pointing yellow lasers, which I carefully reflect from behind you to avoid drawing attention.

Yeah, that’s me. Feel free to tell the other circle cultists so they don’t freak out if I appear.

I re-conceal my form, but you still know I’m there.

(Thanks, I was gonna just drawn you as a tall green dude with angel wings, but now that you gave us that, I'll use that instead.)

Circle

360° of absolute bliss.

Status Update:

Whilst the girls were rummaging around Kaijin's room in our home dimension, I had some of the initiates steal all of their underwear and sell it on the black market.

I deem this, and the psychological scarring some of them will receive from Seeing That Which Should Not Be Seen, to be sufficient punishment for their crude behaviour earlier in the week.

Meanwhile, I have discovered that Brother Olors is capable of transforming into a living laser show. We are currently researching to see if we can combine Prog Rock and Gospel together in order to make the most use out of this talent.

At the same time, Brother No has finally completed the Rite of Enigmatic Circumference without the use of a compass. As a reward, we will now be cooking his meals.

I am sure he will be just as thrilled as the rest of the biological members about the lack of salmonella in his new diet.

So far, we have hidden Kaijin's comatose form in the attic, but we feel that we may need a more secure hiding place before the girls comeback home.

Things could get…messy.

Kommando descends from the attic in a heavily redesigned form and speaking in an echoing Leonard Nimoy impression with an excessive amount of reverb.

"You cannot contain me…" He says, with colossal gusts of wind blowing the Circle Cultists about the room every time he speaks.

The roof is miraculously obliterated without a single piece of rubble remaining.

"Soon… Chapter 1 will be finished… in due time!"

Kommando then disappeared into nothingness and the Church of Shirley Headquarters followed this action with massive metallic and concrete walls rising around it with various large turrets appearing at the top of the walls as sirens wailed through the air.

(None of this is canon, I just wanted a cool way to say "I'm Working on it.")

Well, that's kinda bad because it means that your body is still in the attic and I can't wash it anymore… I have seen things no man should see.
Shudder
Kaijin's face…. And thingy.

So…it's just occurred to me that the situation we have found ourselves in is basically Reverse-Sonic.

We have a smart-ass robot strolling around below the speed of sound serving a singular ring, trying to save the world from an unlicensed industrialist with a colourful cast of characters.

Thinking about it, how is Kaijin not Dr Robotnik?

His waifus even revert back into the cute woodland creatures they were horrifically mutated from upon their defeat. [Citation Needed]