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(That's good because now i have time to continue my "slice of life anime" arc)
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As Sam helps Jamie water the flowers in the courtyard behind the temple, Quiet_boi plots his revenge against #96 for the incident that occured earlier that day "There's gotta be some weakness" says Quiet_boi as he speaks to a tomboy princess Daisy dakimakura pillow "How about if you just shoot it or something?" Says Quiet_boi while doing a terrible impersonation of Daisy's voice "No" he says "Simply killing it wont cut it for me, i want that pile of steampunk scrap to suffer. Mmmhhh. Don't you have any ideas Daisy? I'm blank" again mimicking the Nintendo girl's voice he says "Hey, you are the one who holds a grudge against that machine, don't ask me about anything. I'm a pillow not a servant" Quiet_boi responds in his normal voice "Listen here you football hooligan, i paid for you so-" Then Quiet_boi has a realization, he remembers the only weakness that he knows #96 has, he knows just how much it hates being dressed as a maid. Thinking quickly, Quiet_boi crafts a careful plan to get back at #96 and get his revenge for being denied of pancakes and coffee that morning.
Quiet_boi then began with his plan, he inmidiatly drenched the temple's candles with gasoline to make them run out faster, he walked all over a puddle of mud and then all over the temple, and finally, he changed the tuning of the temple's organ to make it sound awful. "#96!" Yelled Quiet_boi, "can it be known wha-" said the robot when he saw the mess that had become of the temple. "Guess who cleaning up the mess?" said Quiet_boi knowing full well that #96's programming wouldn't let it leave the temple in such conditions. #96 rushed to the nearest closet and picked everything it would need and began cleaning up the place, leaving it even more spotless of what it was before. But after cleaning the temple and tuning the organ again, #96's battery was running low and lunch time was close at hand. With no one but itself to cook #96 began making a simple fast lunch of just some mashed potatoes and roasted chicken with peas. But by the time the roast was ready the robot's battery was already out and using it's auxiliary reserve. But Quiet_boi was prepared, he had given away all the groceries stocked up in the reserves of the temple to everyone who would accept them so now, #96 would have to go and get the groceries from the store, when the robot returned and put all the food in it's place, leaving everything as spotless as always it was just about a minute to run out of energy. It was on it's way to it's charging station (being the only Soup King model who still used simple rechargable batteries) it was stopped once again by Quiet_boi "Hey, #96" he said with a deadpan tone "I need your opinion, should i wear the white clothes for tomorrow's mass or should i wear the golden one?" #96 replied with a sleepy sounding tone and said : "Ask Sam" Quiet_boi was quick to say "you know Sam has no fashion sense, c'mon just pick one" #96 pointed to the one in Quiet_boi's left hand and said "the golden one" to which Quiet_boi responded "No, you know what? that's too pompous, i'll just pick the white one" A murderous rage took over the robot before it made a Windows XP shutdown noise and fell forwards into the floor. Quiet_boi can only chuckle as he sees that his plan worked. When #96 self recharging systems had finished to replanish it's energy it saw just the most horrible sigth. It was strapped above the entry door to the temple wearing that nandroid dress which it dreaded so much. A robotic sounding big "NO!" scream could be heard all over the temple, the town and even this continuity's Kaijin could hear it. Quiet_boi just stayed in his room, sitting in his beach chair, drinking a glass of tropical fruit juice and hugging his waifu pillow while wearing some sunglasses and headphones to muffle out the audible scream of the machine.

Ludibrium looked from the rooftops at the robot as it screamed from it's entrapment above the temple doors. Turning to the viewer and gesturing at it with his thumb while placing his other hand at the side of his mouth as if to whisper he said:

"It looks like I'm not the only one with a sense of humor here…"

Sharla drove deeper and deeper into the depths of the Dodecagon's Domain, speeding past the miles of combatants and over to the spot where Kommando was confronting The Decietful Dodecagon.

"Shirley, it's too late to be out! We're going home now-" Sharla was interrupted by a blinding light and a deafening and overwhelming scream.

An old pick up truck drove down the streets towards the Circle Cult's temple. Spinning around to the rear parking lot, it stopped in it's tracks and reversed into a secluded corner. It's engine and headlights shut off as it froze, no driver ever exited the vehicle and it sat there for weeks without as much as making a single sound or moving the slightest bit.

((Honestly I'm content to just watch for now)))

(Just posting to keep the thread alive keep moving)

(So, small question: How tall is everybody's character? I know Jamie's is 5'10" but I don't have anything for anyone else and want I want to do involves people standing next to each other and I have OCD when it comes to heights. Also, what type of fighter does everybody consider themselves?)

I am 5'9 so i'm about average heigth. As for my role, I'm a jack of all trades and master of none, I know something about everything but i don't know everything about anything… I confused myself… Again, still I'm also on the thin side of the expectrum but i know how to use the strenght that i got to get the maximun efficiency out of it.

(Oh dear…)

(Well, if we're going by the rough height guide cranked out in Round 2 of our ongoing neighbourly dispute when you sent a 15ft tall monster to punch me in the face, my shitbots are all about 12ft tall due to me buggering up the scaling.)

(Their intended height is about 7ft-tall for the standard, with the irregular ones being irregular.)

(As for fighting style, they all come with Sambo and knowledge of how to effectively wield all of the weapons I currently have in the armoury programmed as standard.)

(So currently that includes general conventional firearms, a dozen or so plasma throwers, a few folding steel chairs and a tea spoon that I accidently left in there and keep forgetting to take out.)

7ft it is!

And how exactly do the plasma throwers work, in terms of effects on their targets?

Exactly like this:

Why couldn't the new Wolfensteins be more like the one from 2009?

That game was so cool.

Do you guys want to see me kicking the hornets nest?….. No? Well, screw you, i'm gonna do it anyway.
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Kommando_Kaijin? more like Bakammando_Gaijin. Get it? Cuz' he's a baka gaijin, amirite?

So… highly effective against organic materials, combustibles and unprotected equipment, yet ineffective against heavy armor?

Also, Quiet_boi…

…You'll see… you'll see…

Yep, that's right.

It pretty much just melts organic and unarmoured things instantly, but it needs to "chew" through more heavily armoured things; giving them a chance to either neutralise it or move out of the way.

…You know Kitty Hawk and Co. are going to basically be immune to this via their Energy Armor Generators, right?

Have you considered coming up with mass-produced units that are more than basically fodder that's going to get blasted apart in a single hit as soon as it's noticed?

Well, the vast majority of them are, because they're not designed to be strictly military units.

And going by your canon, the girls are pretty much immune to every conventional sci-fi weapon anyway.

That being said, I feel you are underappreciating the damage a folding steel chair can do to High-Tech thingamabobbers which would naturally be used in conjunction with the plasma throwers and other less specialised weaponry.

Any real heavy lifting is usually taken care of by Number 1 with his Magic Stick, Number 15 with his Righteous Fury, Number 3 with his Technomancy and Number 14 with his Eldritch Shenanigans.

There are the other two though…which you should be seeing soon if all goes well.

The actual military bots tend to rely on tactics and strategy more than BIG GUN GO BANG, so if they encounter a superior force, they'll just use their built in teleporters and better processors to keep out of the enemies way until there's a good time to strike.

Such as when they're asleep, or enjoying a delicious curry, or when they're on the toilet after a eating a delicious curry.

Robots don't have a sense of honour or playing fair.

However, large scale combat only takes place in the event of a massive failure of the Good Charlotte Initiative.

Normally any violence is nipped in the bud by your designated Shitbot giving you a slap around the ear and telling you to stop being so silly and get back to doing your homework like a good boy, you scallywag you.

Hang on, why don't I just tell them to not charge up your batteries and take the ammo from your guns?

Surely any other servitor bots you have would surely help out their fellow clankers in their time of need?

Viva La Robolution!

Edit: Oops, I forgot to mention, the ones specifically meant for combat purposes have their numbers as Roman Numerals on their helmets.

Do you really think that I would be entrusting my logistics, maintenance and other necessary menial tasks to any machines that you would have any control over?

And do the military bots have any other aesthetic differences besides the roman numerals, or no?

And in terms of Kitty and Co. being immune to everything, they actually only take reduced damage from explosions as opposed to being outright invulnerable to it and there are specific rounds for their weapons designed specifically to counteract their armor, and the Lightning Cannons, which are anti-energy armor weapons, but only work against targets the same size as the user. (Example: A person with a man-portable Lightning Cannon could disable the energy armor of other Infantry Units and anything smaller (e.g. small drones) but couldn't disable the energy armor of a vehicle and would instead have to use a larger, more cumbersome Lightning Cannon, that's basically vehicle-sized.)

(Also, what exactly is with the Good Charlotte references? I had never heard of them until you started posting your Good Charlotte Initiative stuff, so I have no idea what's going on whenever you mention it.)

Most of the differences between a military and civilian shitbot is internal, with the military robots having sturdier bodies, redundant systems to increase survivability and better hardware to make them more intelligent and have faster problem solving skills.

Sometimes, if I'm bored and have the time, I'll draw an angry face on one of them.

It sounds like I'm going to have to have the non-military robots distract you whilst the military ones sneak or storm pass to steal your guns to turn against you.

Casualties will be great, but victory cannot be achieved without sacrifice.

For The Mother-Factory!

(Man post links to provide context, no one clicks the links, people ask for context, man drinks another can of cider whilst staring blankly at the wall.)

(The running theme I'm going with is that there are as many Soup Kings as the plot dictates there should be and one seems to be everywhere you look; a bit like in the Good Charlotte music video "Chronicles of Life and Death" where every single person is issued a robot at birth, because there's just so many of them now.)

(Also I'm pretty much done now, but it's currently in 60 (Sixty!?) parts, so it may take awhile to assemble)

Oh… I don't think you'll be stealing any guns off of any of my characters this time…

…Or that the features of the military bots will do much to save them…

…You're probably going to react along the lines of "This is stupid and a little unoriginal" upon seeing my idea fully realized into this thread assuming I can actually get around to finishing everything, but I felt like it should be the natural conclusion of the events in this thread.

I also made loading screens… for a thread…

(I clicked the link and watched the whole music video and still didn't get it other than everyone had a robot chained to them for some reason. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.)

So here it finally is.

Originally it was going to have more scenes and animation, but due to a software crash wiping out a load of progress, I decided to just simplify the whole thing.

If you have trouble reading the text, I've linked each image back to my Deviant Art, so you can read it at it's full-size.

So what's happened to Kaijin?

Has he been Isekaied and is inadvertently collecting a haram of anthropomorphic dining tables?

Has he ended up in a dimension with a better Shirley?

Or has he simply disappeared into the space between spaces?

Well, I do, but I won't be making that for a while yet as this has taken up a lot of time and there's a lot I want to do first.

I think you underestimate just how many robots there are.

Imagine it a bit like a horrific mix between Agent Smith in the last Matrix Film and a Skaven Horde in Vermintide.

That's the sort of numbers and bizarre attack angles we're talking about.

One of them is bound to snag an ammo belt, energy pack or sidearm off your gals, plus I was thinking more about teleporting into your armoury and having a good rifle around in there to see what interesting toys I could pick up.

Also, if a few battalions of "Nani?" won't be of much use, I feel the End Times are upon us and the Age of the Undeserving Circle is will soon be here to cause much scub, rage and a marked improvement in model quality.

To be honest, the loading screens are actually a pretty good idea, as you can use them to sperate the scenes into distinct bits.

(It's fine, it's not a very good joke in the first place. But yes, it's basically to do with the fact that there are so many robots, that people are just being given them now, whether they want one or not.)

(Vote Soup King 2024, A Mostly Benevolent, Slightly Malfunctioning Robot for Every Home!)

(…You know I abandoned Prime's corpse to fight the Dodecagon in Hell, right? Why are we still in the Circle Cult Temple? What exactly does MCC stand for, anyways?)

(Also, my Off-Brand-Obliterator form is supposed to be 12 ft. tall, not including the antennas on top of my armor. I feel kind of stupid for not mentioning it earlier… unless I did and forgot, either way it's just a small nitpick.)

Eh, I have ways of dealing with numbers like that… if only I can draw it fast enough.

Although, what you said about the End Times being upon you and the Undeserving Circle appearing is in a way oddly on the nose for what my idea is…

I was thinking of using the loading screens to mark the beginning of the "Chapters" of my idea, as well as maybe setting the tone and working as a sort of establishing shot of sorts. After that it would be text, y'all respond, then I throw up the next part which may or may not include some artwork, etc.

Welp, see you whenever I get the stuff for the first part done.

…Oh, and one last thing, did you have a specific appearance in mind for the tomboy intern, Sam? The more character descriptions I can get my hands on the better.

That comic was just so awesome… I Hope that Kaijin isn't dead… Or building a harem of anthro dining tables, that sounds like a fate worse than death, the comic was worth the wait but two questions remain, where are Jamie, Olors, Sam, and me? are we trapped in the "slice of life" timeline? Hope that this portal dosen't cause too much problems for this week's masses.

(I started making this pretty much as as soon as you started Chainsawing Prime. I wanted to try and keep up with current plot points, but everything just expanded rapidly and I couldn't keep up.)

(Gosh darn adult responsibilities.)

(Because of that, we should just probably consider this a completely separate timeline.)

(When I'm specifically making things for the threads, the scaling gets a bit wonky as I know that I'll have to compress the width down to 500-400px as, unlike the comment sections, anything larger than that get's squished to fix the box.)

(I did make an attempt to have your monster form tower over the robots, but software went "Splrt!" and I had to quickly recover all of the progress I had lost. That's why I have 56 and 82 comment on it in the comic.)

(I don't know how well it shows up on the device you're using, but your monster form is holding Prime off the ground by a good few feet or so, so hopefully that's in the right scale at least.)

If the End Times are truly upon us, then I call Bagsy on not having the Chaos Wastes or the Realm of Fire being my own personal realm.

I don't mind ending up with the Realm of the Dead so much, as the life-stealing waters won't effect robots and the Souls of the Damned make a pleasant whistling sound as they go wailing through the air.

If you don't get the above that's fine. It'll all be clear when another Warhammer Fantasy fan turns up and proceeds to have a violent fit.

As for Sam's appearance, in my mind, I have her as looking like a cross of Zombina's head with a bit less of a fringe and the facial expressions used in Komi Can’t Communicate in my mind.

Since her purpose will be to juxtapose Soup King Number N in any comics she appears in, her clothes and outfit will pretty much change every time she appears.

For example, in the current drafts of the stories I've written, she appears as a paladin, a jihadi, a nurse and a scientist.

However in general terms of height, she's about a head shorter than Soup King in any appearance she'll make.

I've also decided to base her personality on how I perceive the average KYM user, so always slightly horny, energetic and very excitable.

In this timeline, you've all been evacuated and everyone is currently hiding from Numbers 56 and 82 and their terrible off-screen powers.

Fictional Kaijin will return.

IRL Kaijin will travel to the UK to slap me.

I'll lure the terrible duo back to the their room with shiny objects and squeaky things.

Jaimie will save you from being hugged to death by Sam

And many, many other wonderful things will happen later on when I go to make the next part of the Ugandan Knuckles timeline.

Assuming we all survive the literal biblical wrath that is Number 15's fury once he sees what has happened to his church.

As for the "slice of life" timeline, I personally quite like it, so we can continue with that as well if you like.

The portal is now part of the altar now.

We tried to dismantle it, but everytime it sees a screwdriver, it growls at us.

But that's fine, as long as we feed it once a week, it tends to stay quiet and peaceful.

Considering that the details of Kommando's fight against the Dodecagon and the overall outcome are very intentionally left vague along with what happens next after Soup King's comic, would it be OK to sorta-kinda merge the timelines? I wasn't thinking of straight up going "They're both canon! (do we even have a canon?)" but more of doing that weird live-action-soft-reboot-nobody-asked-for-type thing where details of all of the continuities are treated as canon depending on if the writer thinks it's cool or not. (So, Kommando killed Prime and fought the Dodecagon, but also holds a grudge against 56 and 82 over their shenanigans in addition to basically marking the MCC shitbot (who I'm assuming is meant to be a Roman Numeral 1200) for death over him coming within 1 mile of Shirley.)

Also, were you thinking of anymore specific details than just her looking like Zombina with Komi's facial expressions? Like eye color, build, you mentioned her height, which by my rough estimates, makes her about 6 ft. tall (Very poggers indeed, you may now kill me for saying that.)

And you're damn-straight fictional me will return!

(My entire knowledge WH Fantasy comes from your posts here, I mostly just stick to playing shitty 40K games (1v1 me in Squad Command for the PSP, I dare you!), Dawn of War and gawking over fan-animations.)

Now, to hopefully focus for once and not get distracted so as to quickly finish those character sheets, loading screens and portraits I was working on. (This is going to suck.)

(Since it looks like i have time…)
Meanwhile in the "Slice of life timeline, Quiet_boi enters to the center of the holey church and finds a strage green gate in the middle of the church with Sam inspecting the object as a kid would inspect a robot in a car assembly line. "Have you seen this?" Sam ask to Quiet_boi who looks at the strange gate with an absolutely baffled expression "what the heck is that thing?" he ask to which Sam responds "I don't know, i was going to check on the candles and this thing was here, do you think it is a trap made by Kaijin?" "I am not sure, i think he's a bit too busy with whatever he's doing right now… Maybe Soup King left it here or something… Look, I'm going to look out for him and ask him about this, don't touch anything, I'm sure this thing is not safe to be around" When Quiet_boi walks off, it takes Sam not 15 seconds of wait to touch the strange portal/gate, but then, all of the sudden the gate turns "on" and it shines with a bright green light, curious to find out the function of the weird gate, Sam walks into it and she begins a strange journey which takes her to a series of strange parallel universes. Such as a cowboy universe, a pirate universe, an anime universe and then, Kaijins timeline… In which she saw the horrors of Kaijin battling against the demons of the Dodecaheathenist, she is quick to jump back into the portal before Kaijin notices her, which then takes her to the "Ugandan Knuckles" timeline in which she gets to see 56 and 82
"Hey, 56, Isn't that the church's waifu?"
"Yes, 82, i think she is"
"wasn't she suppoused to be evacueted with the civillians and the other members of the church, 56?"
"Maybe she returned for the contents of the church's refrigerator, 82"
"It sounds unlikely, 56. those contents should have been vaporized by now"
"And how do you know that, 82?"
"Because I vaporized them, 56. Remind me to not try to cook ever again"
Weirded out by the convesation between the two robots, Sam walked back into the portal, with the hopes that it would take her back to the dimension from which she came from. "Oh, bugger, it appears that we scared her away, 56" "I puzzles me as to why did she walked back in there. I don't think there's any way to survive that isn't it 82?" "Bah, she'll be fine, 56. She's a strong girl… Or at least stronger than the fellow that was flunged in there just moments ago" Sam returns to her own timeline to recieve the versions of her timeline of Quiet_boi, Soup King and Jamie as they talk about the gate. "And here it is" says Quiet_boi, he continues to talk to Soup King "What do you think it is?" to which Soup King responds "Hmm, they did it" "Who did what, King? asks Jamie to which Soup King responds "Nah, just 82 and 56 with their time and space travelling shenanigans. We'll have to learn to live with this gate as we are not going to be able to get rid of it" "Why not" asked Quiet_boi to which Soup King responds "Try touching it with a screwdriver" "Ok Jamie, you heard him" Says Quiet_boi as he hands the screwdriver to Jamie. And as Jamie slowly gets closer to the gate Quiet_boi asks Sam if she had touched the gate to which she responds with an "Uuuhhh" before being interrupted by an increasedly louder "Hisss"

Eh, we can do.

I was planning to introduce another character to serve as your equal, The Engineer, and create a story where the two of you are interdimensional beings who interfere with the inhabitants of this world for their own reasons, with you doing it directly and him indirectly through the robots.

This is used as an explanation for your powers and all of the madness you get up to.

This also serves as an explanation of the bewildering number and variety of Soup King models, as the Engineer is playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't.

There's some banter and you get spat back out, so the timelines could merge after that.

In regards to additional Sam details, I picture her as a redhead and a medium build, so not THICC nor STICC, but more to the muscly side than squidgy.

So, just a normal, healthy body really.

As for eye colour, I picture her as having green eyes.

It would be unwise to go after 56 and 82. They did what they did because they meant well.

You do not want to get on their badside. You didn't see what they did to the demons and if you antagonise them, you won't see what they do to you either.

Also, why are you picking on poor little MCC (You're right, it is Roman for 1200). He was sent to keep Shirley safe.

The golden rule is programmed into and is followed by all shitbots.

(The End Times. Gosh, how do I even go about explaining that train wreck)

(Right…right. So, my friend, I would like to imagine that you are a creator who has come up with a brand new setting that is tangentially linked to one of your current ones.)

(Now you like you new setting a lot. Like, really, really a lot and you worry that no one else will like it as much, as they will compare it to your current setting it is based on.)

(So because of that, you decide to retire your old setting.)

(However, instead of just letting everyone know that you will be retiring the old setting to work on the new one, you decide to rip up all of the established cannon, burn all of the bridges, piss in all of the cereal bowels and personally punch every fan's dog on the way out.)

(You then stand upon the smouldering, rancid corpse of your old setting and announce to all of the fans of the older setting "Don't worry guys, I've made this instead".)

(It is at this point that you reveal your new setting to the fans and it has predictable results.)

(A full list of gripes can be found here.)

(Soup King gathers Quiet_Boi, Jaimie, Olors and Sam together and leads them into one of the store rooms, before addressing them in an especially stealthy stage whisper)

Now listen here chaps, if the portal is ever on, and you hear someone saying something like 'Man-Thing, I have many shiny-glowy things for you-you. Hurry-scurry through and I will surrender-give them to you, yes-yes.' Ignore it.

(Soup King theatrically scans the room and dramatically opens a few crates, revealing ordinary, household supplies)

I think Number 13 fell in, and quite frankly, he can stay there.

Eating all the cheese, digging up the floorboards, screaming in terror at lizards, never washing properly.

The bot's a nightmare I tell you. An absolute nightmare.

"…you are interdimensional beings who interfere with the inhabitants of this world for their own reasons, with you doing it directly…"

That's a little on the nose for something I was gonna go for…

Don't worry, it's not the ultimate conclusion I was planning for my stuff, anyways, more of a strangely minor reveal that quickly gets brushed aside for more fight sequences. My idea of an ending is… you'll see… hopefully… if I don't waste too much time.

And is that shitbot's number being 1200 a reference to anything in particular? Just asking because most of the stuff I draw is at a vertical resolution of 1200 pixels and whenever I see the same number popping up everywhere, I get suspicious that there's some sort of connection between them like an unsolved crime theorist going through the information related to the Zodiac Killer. If it is, cool, I guess, if not, hah! What a coincidence!

Oh, I chose MCC as a reference to the Master Chief Collection.

Yes….yes, that's correct.

I am a very attentive and supportive friend and I chose that specific number as a reference to your own work.

Definitely.

Certainly.

Mmm-Hmm.

Oh…

…sorry…

…I don't play Halo…

…I've never owned an Xbox.

…And if you know anything about emulation, you know how Xbox emulation is…

(Oh, my God, I'm so sorry I'm a total schizo around numbers, please forgive me for being an absolute sperglord.)

You know that you can play most of the games in the Halo series on PC through the Master Chief Collection, right?

That's fine, it's just a really interesting coinky-dink

And Quiet_boi's right, all of the Halos are now available on PC through the Master Chief Collection apart from Halo 5.

This means you PC Peasants finally have access to a balanced team-based shooter.

I grew up with Halo and have been playing it for over a decade now, so I may be just a smidge biased.

However, it is the only game I know of where you can engage a Main Battle Tank in Honorabru Hand-to-Hand combat and win if you know what your doing and the tank driver doesn't.

• >"engage a Main Battle Tank in Honorabru Hand-to-Hand combat and win"

But I can already do that in Garry's Mod. In fact, I can also yeet the tank's corpse into the sun as soon as I'm finished, too.

Yeah but, does Garry's Mod has very notable references to the Abrahamic religions? Because that's a convinient topic for this thread and I don't want Soup King to be the only person i have shown that video.

Uh… you can play as Jesus, the Pope and The AntiChrist?

(That was a lame joke.)

Ah, but can you do it with this much style?

I am showing interest in a new god, my current god refuses to grant me any powers, blessings, love, or really anything.

He may be dead actually

Thou hast come to the right place, lost soul.

The Undeserving Circle welcomes all Children of Men into it's embrace.
Even Abhumans who do nothing but post cringe all day.

Of love, the Circle gives it unconditionally.

Of blessings, the Circle gives them freely.

Of power, the Circle gives it to all of those who can perform the Dance of the Panicked Flamingo, the inhalation of a Fat One and obtaining a KD of 1:10 on Shipment using only smoke grenades and slam poems.

It is decided then. Welcome aboard, brother No!!. Let me show you around the church, just don't get close to that weird portal over there and for the love of the Holey One don't get any screwdrivers near it.

No!! Join the Church of Shirley! We do not discriminate against people based upon their shape and we give out lots of love and blessings! Maybe powers, too…

We have A brochure if you're curious!

Trust me! All you have to do is pledge your allegiance to Shirley and assist in dispelling the evils of the Circle Cultists to join!

Look at this poor, misshapen virgin trying to get more members, lol.

By his own admission, he was beating me by 0.6 followers; but Jaimie and Olors have joined since then, which means we are now twice as powerful as he is.

This lead will only increase if No! joins and we eventually have enough members to host a book club.

Oh Brother Kaijin, whilst thou not cease thy foolishness and return to the flock?

Fool! I was never a part of your flock, for I am no sheep being herded to be culled. The Church of Shirley treats it's members like the men [and women] that they are! They are of free will, unlike your cultists who enslave themselves to an unloving false god!