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: Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)13:08:51 No.50459642 HOLA PRIMO! >school cafeteria >it's Mexican day >rice beans, tortillas, carne asada, s--- like that >this s--- is my jam, green chile on everything 129 KB PNG >tall white dude comes up to my s--- ass >"Hey, anon. Could you roll my burrito for me? I don't know how." >"Hm? Oh, yeah, sure." >neatly portion out the proper amount of beans into each tort, tuck, and roll some nice burritos for him %3D >"You have to tuck in the bottom like this so nothing spills out." >"Oh, cool. Thanks, dude." >"No problem."

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: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 The dwarf > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside > I call out "how was the party?" > no response... > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their 393 KB JPG friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons

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Anonymous | 783805660 Vor 9 Min. >Be me >In highschool >In class, supposed to be doing coursework >Chad is laughing at his phone >I look over, he is looking at memes >He's looking at minion memes on Facebook 49,6 kB JPG >Tf >I laugh and sit back in my seat, he doesn't notice >Get bored so I start looking at memes and greentext's >Chad comes over sees a Ben Shapiro meme >Continues to laugh at me and shout "NORMIE" >Ask him do you know where the word normie comes from >He replies with "yes, from Instagram" >Mfw

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: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)12:13:54 No.61876765 >be me >want pizza >order dominos >order a 2 liter thing of root beer with it >eat pizza 12 KB JPG >open root beer >pour me a cup >all of it turns to foam and dissappears >w--.tar.gz >pour another cup >mfw it does the same thing >cup is dry >drink from bottle >feel the root beer turn to foam in my mouth >disappears again >now the entire bottle is empty

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: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)19:22:30 No.844935120 1470092137584.png 867 KB PNG >be you >be unarmed >walking home >hear twig snap behind you >turn around >see pic related WWYD?

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Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)09:44:29 No.844901901 >>844900853 >been delivering stuff to this woman who's a friend of my mom >pretty nice lady, sometimes asks me to eat something before going home >she has a daughter >kinda cute, sometimes she's the one opening the door for me >sometimes even sits next to me when I sit to eat >don't think much about her since she's much younger than me >about 2 months ago >lady offers me some cake since I brought her some medicine >she jokingly tells me that her daughter has a crush on me >just laugh it off >tells me that she wouldn't mind if was her daughter's bf >h-------- she's serious >next time I visit she tells me that her daughter was in her room and that she wanted to talk to me >feeling nervous because I didn't know what to say >go to the daughter's room >she's kinda nervous, we have some awkward small talk >all of a sudden she removes her shorts >suprised, don't know what to do >she sits naked in front of me >start getting horny >end up kissing >we jump on the bed >both are naked, I'm worried that her mom might open the door >end up f------ >there's even some blood on her thighs >oh f--- she's a virgin >she's crying and hugging me >just lay there hugging each other for about 30 min >finally get out of the room, her mom is literally in front of the door >tells me that she's happy for us >spend about a month without visiting them >first time visiting afterwards >end up having sex again >literally have sex everytime I visit ngl I think I'm in love

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Anonymous | 49048915 Acum 2 h •.• >be me >uni student living in ghetto ass apartment >playing Dark Souls on Xbox >my w---- neighbour wanders into my room >she sits on my bed bitch no that's where my dragon plushie goes >"hey anon, whatcha doing?" >0-0-oh hi femanon, i'm playing Dark Souls >"oh ok. that looks really cool. can i play with you?" >n-n-no, i play offline >"oh i see. would you..." spreads legs >"like to do something else that involves 2 people?" 30,6 kB JPG >no >I have to beat Gwyn and link the fire >she leaves >virginity protected how did i do robots? REPLY Anonymous | 49049082 Acum 2 h i should also say that this gril was a w----. I heard her banging at least 3-5 different men judging by the tone of the masculine grunts and moans coming from next door. This ho probably had a baker's dozen STD's. 1 REPLY Anonymous | 49049332 Acum 1 h •.. >>49049082 You done good anon, don't let thots distract you from the true path.

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01/15/21(Fri)16:46:04 No.302984848 Anonymous (ID: XN1MYYWL) File: 1415153938871.png (984 KB, 863x661) >>302983820 > be me > have a p--- problem > go to local church > pastor helps me > accept Jesus as my Lord and savior > all my friends still hooked on p--- > get bright idea > down load high quality p--- > redub it so actors quote the bible > friends think it's cool, start watching > convert one friend to christianiy with bible p--- > feelsgoodman.gif > go back to local church > show pastor my bible p--- > kicks me out > tells me to see a psychiatrist > says I offended Jesus > says never come back mfw Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam

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789969058 : Anonymous 1 hour ago kittycat.jpg (32.9 KB, 680x452) >Be me >Kitty >Have nice human friend >Good at feeding, lots of treats! >Litter box very clean! >Love human! >But human been sad lately >No other humans come see him anymore >Doesn't play with loud flashy light box either >Just be in bed >Maybe sick? >l snuggle him, will help right? >No :( >Have idea >Will do silly things! >Make human laugh! >Roll on floor >Chase tail >Rabbit kick toys >Human still not happy! >Human talks to me, not make sense though >Says he has no friends >l am friend, human! >Love you very much! >Say is too fat, no girl want >Am girl and belly is favorite part! >Good for sleeping and kneading! >So comfy! >Say he going to bridge >What is bridge? >Human gone long time >Why he not come back? >Litter box full now >Had to poop on floor >Very sorry :( >No food left >AM SO HUNGRY! >Maybe I bad kitty? >lf so, am sorry >lf see nice human, tell to come home plz! >Will be good kitty, promise!

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>Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:31:23 No.844895313 I had a dream about her. We haven't spoken in 7 years, but all the feels came rushing back. I miss her so much. It was like we had just met again. I loved her, I really did. Why didn't it work out? 58 KB JPG Is it possible for me to find love like that again? Reciprocal love? A girl who cares about me just as much as l'd care about them? Imiss her so, so much /b/ros. 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:50:40 No.844896081 Care about yourself the only reciprocal love you'll get is from your mom

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: Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)19:43:06 No.774781681 >be me, serbian >5 November, 1885 >Serbo-Bulgarian war just started >me and my buddies starving >there's this new thing called "canned food" 55 KB JPG >we find a can of beans >open it >tastyasfuck.jpg >hear from the distance "ХА, ТЕЗИ НЕГРИ ЯДАТ ФАСУЛ"

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: Anonymous 07/23/18(Mon)15:31:43 No.775174032 e>be me >16 years old PUR >some roastie is mean to me for no reason >constantly makes fun of my looks >want to beat the s--- out of her so 31 KB JPG bad >I can't because l'd get suspended and everyone likes her for some reason >l pray to god every night >ask him to make her pay >nothing ever happens >realize God won't help but I know someone who will >pray to Chris Brown instead >beg him to help me >the next day at school >she's not there >it turns out her boyfriend got upset and beat her >she was in a coma for two months then transferred to another school Thanks, Chris Brown.

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>be me >7th grade >in class shitrumbles.mp3 >ask to go to bathroom >have funny idea >squat over the bowl like a frog 150 KB PNG kek.png >hear bathroom door open >ignore it >half squeeze out a log >door bursts open fear.jpeg >s--- slurps back into me >other guy pisses himself Tong time later >browsing r/greentext because redditfag >see a greentext about these exact events from the other guys perspective mfw he's probably reading this right now uhh hey anon, haven't seen you in a while.

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: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this too >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend

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Anonymous 85112604 Vor 2 Std. ... >>85111152 >>85111277 >be me >few years ago >on a 9 hour bus ride with school >no friends >ignore everyone and listen to music for the whole ride until we arrive 80,9 kB JPG >ride back >"Hey, you seem to have a lot of music on your phone. Mind if we join?" >leavemethefuckalone.jpg| >still, agree to do it >start with The Zombies, Jeff Buckley, Waits, Bowie, XTC, etc. >stuff that normies can easily enjoy (but wasn't in the mood for at the time, had a few albums planned to listen to at the ride back) >slightly drift into a more experimental direction and see how far I can push it >get more and more experimental (though never above a certain level) >start enjoying hosting the music now and I'm glad they asked me >tfw people enjoyed all of it >tfw regularly invite people over to my house to check out new music now >tfw got 2 of them into collecting records now Sometimes you just need the right people to hang out with who are open to new stuff.

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No.58814580 February 6 >downloading movie on torrents >gets to 94.6 % and stops >leave it overnight >next day 98.2% >wait another day, finally at 100% >rub hands together, "finally time to watch this movie" >navigate to folder >230 .rars >open first one >archive is corrupted >go to mininova comments to rage >see someone suggest using winrar recovery >winrar recovery takes an hour >open first rar again >see that the archive contains a 4.2GB ISO file >no idea what an iso file is, extract anyway >Fat32 formatted hard drives cannot support files larger than 4GB >download a linux distro >boot into linux and resize hard drive partitions >make a new 4.3GB NTFS partition >boot back into windows >open first rar >extract >sorry, not enough space on the drive >check new partition capacity >lt's only 3.9GB >400MB disappeared into nowhere >learn that formatting a drive takes up raw space with a file allocation table >boot back into linix, delete partition, resize other partition, make new 10GB ntfs partition >boot back into windows >open first rar >extract >no idea how to play .iso file >find you can open it with 7zip >extract the .vobs >open vob file with media player >it's not the movie I wanted and it's in a foreign language with hard coded Swedish subtitles 12 replies

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No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

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>sleeping >realize l'm dreaming >instead of doing cool lucid dream stuff I'm overcome with a paniced need to wake up >force myself awake >don't actually wake up, just wake up into a different dream 66 КВ GIF >still aware that I am asleep >still have panic to need to get up >try force myself awake again >just wake up into another dream, panic and urge to wake up intensifies >repeat process 20 times >finally wake up for real >so much sleep inertia that I can't stay awake >try to will myself to stay awake >roll nat 1 >straight back into the cycle of trying to awaken from inside my dreams >10 more iterations of the dream >finally wake up for real and able to stay awake this happens to me at least twice a week

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: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:27:33 No.61878375 >be me 31 robot >love legos >inb4 cringe I dont care I love to build them >l will be 30 next week >visit parents today >they are like "what do you want for your big day anon" 13 KB PNG >l tell them nothing just like every year >"but anon you didn't want anything for the last 5 years, and this is your 30th birthday you can ask anything" >really? >"yeah, what do you need a new mobile or a computer Yesterday they announced that new samsung phone do you want that?" >l would like lego taj mahal >they go a------ crazy >"WHY IS IT THAT YOU ALWAYS WANT STUFF LIKE THIS, WHY DONT YOU WANT ANYTHING NORMAL" >okay okay forget it I don't want anything And we started to talk about something else. Why are normies like this? They asked me what do I want. I dont want a f------ phone (which is 1300 euros btw, while lego taj mahal is 300). 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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